الثلاثاء، 28 ديسمبر 2010


Me and the family, we always seem to be, in a darkness, a black lit place with no moon, it looks like a British council estate, we meet men, fat-man( re: fascist...) wearing London foot-ball shirts...the whore of Babylon appears in our dark garden, yellow and light brown tentacles, a woman's head, obese, full of faeces, somehow I find a sword, and chop it in half...it follows mum...

One morning...I'm riding horses with Arab men, in a beautiful snowy expanse of mountains...the next I'm in a little town...looking through a market place, of records, I'm with the Osborne kids (Ozzy Osborne's children) Kelly picks up a haevy metal record, we have never heard, but the sleeve cover is in bright yellow and black, so...I immediately know it's evil, and I warn her....still, she buys it (probably, because it's exactly evil)...then we in her bedroom, and that thing of babylon appears...Jack is mesmerised, he says he will give it sex, it spurts liquid... a persian rug appears...it looks like they are mocking me...the liquid gets all over the rug...next I'm with their mummy, berating them...she is in bed...we go out into town again...i throw the persian rug, over someone's balcony just above us...I have to warn the woman who finds it...she doesnt seem too worried by the rug, which she puts ojn the floor in her room, she just upset that a voice has appeared in her apartment....I leave talking to her, because this time, I'm awake....

This morning, I'm back in a dark place, but somethings happened, there are a gang of people with me, one of them is mum, "We are still soul, Mum, we have to fight..." I'm in a flat...I'm also with people from Middle Earth (lord of the rings) Warriors, soldiers...it's a little hazy now, but in a minute, there is a mandarin girl? (chinese)

There is my sword...a long copper gold blade, long, tapering into a triangle end, both edges shrarp...I examine it, it's a kings sowrd, but not quite, it needs a little sharpening...I am trying to find a different sword...but, I take this sword, I'm in a rebellion gang...something evil has appeared, and we have a mission to save....I read the story from the first volume of a story in three books, not the Lord of three Rings tale, but very similar...we walk through the council estate...while I'm entering a room, like a train station, I am also trying to find what happens in the first chapter, I meet a man from the book...I'm being told it is important to know the whole book, I'm reading while I am in action...it is a history, of another war...I say is it a tale of a poor man (like the Children of Hurin?) "We must make haste...Abelbert has died..."

I meet a chinese family, I have to save them, because one of them has brought evil......there are crowds of people on the floor, I say, is this communist? we rush through, flailing and falling...I decided to fully wake up...

"Your mission is Sire, use the sword..."

The hobbit men...there are hobbit men in the room where I find the sword...the history of the sword is that of a King..."He was a poor man..."

"When the Communists cry...fight..."

The 1st book tells the tale...it is a story of a man in failure...he fought and cried...

I have to flip through the book quickly to find out what is happening, but the book is in another scene, I'm not holding the book, the pages are arriving like a picture...the story is the man appearing...I want the man to know, that the first chapter is fate...fight evil...It's not Hurin, its from a different time, it's dark, where....as...everything is in black light...like the Ungolunt (giant monster spider) had filled the air...

الخميس، 2 ديسمبر 2010


you were happy all weekend, because you looked at your self,  and you saw you was not dead. you had the longest white  hair, and the shiniest silver ring, on your third finger right hand...you spoke the 'light of Arda', with a silvery voice in light, over the ring, the inscription was white, elf writing...you thought, I'm in God, I am in God, and I might live forever
well damn, you're happy with yourself...even when they look, and you're spaced out and you were in a shitty, lumpy bed, with metal springs sticking in your side, with a dribble covered pillow, fermenting into the foam, because the covers fall off...a nutty haircut with a quiff in the middle, a dirty pudgy kind of face with an ugly upturned nose, and the way the gypsy face has caught all these wrikles, and is turnign grey from the furr, of which you found a little tuft, in an odd place by the side of your nose..and it's all very funny that they are looking...and... a bit chubby now from all the speed eating...
so damn you...you're happy now...and you've been monstrous, and you have died...
You're happy until the ring gets, nicked, or the devil breathes on it and it burns and rusts, and you get in trouble, and you get damned, and you end up looking like that demon-lad...with his grey skin, wrinkly old face, the long reptilian tail...
"You think you are just an ugly face, of evil; yet it's that which gets women wanting, but I can see you actually turn into some kind of dinosaur with a long tail...and that is not, hot...and I am laughing at you...""


adele-rolling in the deep

The sun-rise appeared in the night-time...shei tels  in the snow, a long way away, enclosed in little towns, are you an ancient girl ?? Non, you are shet tels  in the snow...real tears flowing

you skin like south desert, soft and hotter like south desert.

my skin, dirty, like smog, metal skin, don't sing closer, skin like poison. real tears flowing

sheay tels  in the snow, killers dancing...we went north along time ago,

you talk sheei tels  I found the form of Jewish!! "An ackt, a nein, a vhat? like 'shee tels '...you show me that kind of speaking is jewish, you speak like yiddish, ancient aramaic...you have strange verbs.. tears are flowing, look

I flow like aramaic, I fluent aramaic, i think ancient hebrew, i like talk with you in ancient hebrew

I like singing. tears are flowing...

I forgot you, and forgetting you, forgot everything.

I'm not in shet tels , I'm in the snow...tears are flowing

I speak like stupid:

"shayt tels in the snow..."

السبت، 13 نوفمبر 2010


she is a civorge

swift...you worry over the other...men, other men...I'm her married...I'm a little low...


you called Her, half an hour before you had to go...you saw on the train ride, a golden hand, thin and smooth, with one finger pointing upwards...you lay in her lap...you didnt know what the signs meant...you heard:

"She will obey me until the End of Time..."

Whats the end of time?

Then I sang,and I sang quite well...the others were quiet and stilted, they read the verses like they were just words...I went out for a cigarette, I was very disappointed that I was passed over...

I can't think with a soul...I have to keep calling when it's no..."I hate God!!" Lots of story-telling, racism, overblown evil joking, from my quarterm then the bus-ride, some white-girl:

"GYPSY!! GYPSY!!" I read her soul: creamy white/fake green; "I don't really Luv YAR...I said she'd be in a sinking pot of boiling water, and then, eaten..



الخميس، 11 نوفمبر 2010

Planet SHAS

....welcoming...Planet Shas:

We have hebrew.
It made us love.

How we created Emena Ty...(Beloved Earth) from Planet Hell (Shas) We stormed the palace...we arrived...we brought thought...arrived many hebrew...the hell-men were oustanding, "We understand YOU." Create us civilization, the Devil dead. 

We broke through, we entered door 9...The 1st thought was "What can we do?" We built schools...many married...we were Jews...royal palace...the palace looked like tombs, it was like an arabs house...white, square, flat roofed...it seated at the slope of a hill...it was built on a cliff, that had burned, surrounded by flowing red molten lava...God played a tune, the grass turned green, water flowed over the black sand...I had wives.

When we died, the woman dressed in blue robes, filed through the house to the balcony, I saw them with my own eyes, on a bed in a mental hospital...

Kamara had many king, she rode a purple horse, my horse was black, he was named Zeek (Ezekial) he could talk, he was gentler than men...we made reins from coloured ropes that we plaited together. I wanted to keep it traditional, there was no electricty, (unless that was what some wizard found...) 

We had many children. Men were Thank...they wrote books. "They prized Hatred"

We walked for years...we found wars...Summer was Heavy, the demons were gross...(getting stuck in satan light causes illness..fatigue, headaches...etc....) there was pounding earth, there were floods, the river flowed...it flowed through Hell...

What were the men?

Many prized...some became God...rebellion was taught...they slammed through the hills, Kamara sword...she killed 18 Japanese...I thought, she rode.

She overcame heavy-men. She taught...she smiled as she sat beside me, on the steps above a crowd of people, and I gasped with love, I said:

"Free the men..."


Kamara was Queen.

الأحد، 31 أكتوبر 2010

Horse Lady

Sometimes souls change guise, and adopt animal looks..., the Unicorn, the Lion, the Chimpanzee, the alien without hair, and with glowing skin, and a lumpy forehead, full of scripture, the guy with little horns, and leaves for a crown, hairy sheep legs and hooves...the blue lamb with a little beard...

The English Horse...a lady...

السبت، 23 أكتوبر 2010


I spent half an hour, thinking there would be an electrocution, because some one was calling me from her bath...to meet the Hairy Fat Cain...I remember my baths, when another FH Cain played this: White Rabbit-Jefferson Airplane...ha! then in a scene, next, a guy gets electrocuted by an overhanging light...Luck, Parallel dimensions, Death...

I sat there under a coat, rubbing the cats nose, ( Muezza the 3rd) and getting bitten, because she decided that tonight, eyeing the edge of my coat like it was a mouse, paws in front... and I felt someone cuddle me..

"No...no...wow...no...who is this?" safe warm light.

Anna..."There are all Anna..." I hear Anna, because, well, they're Anna...

"I have Lover's King..."

Well, wait. So I can keep electrocuting my feelings, until I'm confused and physically ill. Distraught. Mistakes, all so much a mistake, I think to myself I can't find a way back into a sensible //sensitive pattern, like managing speech...the other Anna, became true love, because we cuddled in fly...she stands in a room I leave, and sings, my paintings; are snuggly, cuddly, nice, pretty. I don't hate that, but I bring it Hate, because Love is low, a low light, that's been very much used up...so I low speech, and thinking of Aliens is soothing, because it's interesting news, it's a rest from this planet...it's amazing that I know things about another Galaxy, a Zeitgiest...I'm silly...then more genius- coo-inging over some kids painting...what; "The kids a retard, smoking, thank you yes, I listen..." Because the GREEN LIGHT was slow for me, and I need to ponder over the clashing golden eyes.

Well, God, you dont shout out, do you? when someone is calling me for bed. Someone shouted to a woman in the house...some women collapsed... 

I'm very confused...

Yes, this is gross, but I'm a bit berefit, of happiness at the moment, so why savour a cuddle, go to go,got to keep moving...It's mentally exhausting...I'm am getting very sick, I've been crying HELL, the guy is a gnome, you are human dogs, I think God just burnt my baby because I defied, I heard fire, someone poked me, a girl fell in Love with the wrong, creep, Im sitting back in a coffee shop laughing, I sing I'm pulling an angel into bed, cause she's sitting with demons, a turn makes a boy in Heaven, into a Zombie, I want every man to fight, or every man to die, I will Fall You...screaming...I'm waiting for the baby sister to arrive, I push her over...I die, I die, the kids still a zombie, the babies are dead...every man forgot to fight, leave me in Hell...the shopping centre call, suddenly Im Allah himself, I'm getting louder and louder, a nearby alarm stars, it's my screams, the drums are rolling, the loud low horn (shofar) begins, it pits down, it stops because, techinally without SOUL voice, I'm going to lose, I cant put together what I'm calling for...the horn stops, it just piffles away, it's silly, you are dead, I'm dead, the horn is real, I can't invent horns, they begin, they forget...then I call that voice again;

calling family, the babies are dead, the babies are dead...

"I do not kill Holy married, I do not kill Eternal Life."
slight misquote.
then I'm back with humans, asking these humans, snogging teenagers, reds...something about reds...then worse, I do things through time, I let out fireballs from my fingers, that's why I heard fire, but I heard a girl I called, a relative in Heaven, try to source my head, my mind, while I'm dizzy in the aisles, dead, dead, and she dies, because I voice her to speak what I say, by accident, why do I get a poke, in the shopping centre? I just want


you dont want to know why, still fighting Hell, it looks like they got life... being forgiven ...well, I'm dancing.

But I'm still very dead.

(radio- Cream; White Room)

الاثنين، 18 أكتوبر 2010

Scriptures 2

I read Joseph's interpretation of the Pharoah's dreams, in a little english Bible, and found something else...not images of famines, but tales about souls;

Fat and Lean 'souls'

Golden Wheat: 'Heavenly Rewards...'

 5  And he slept and dreamed the second time: and, behold, seven ears of corn came up upon one stalk, rank and good.
.6  And, behold, seven thin ears and blasted with the east wind sprung up after them.

 7  And the seven thin ears devoured the seven rank and full ears. And Pharaoh awoke, and, behold, it was a dream.

.8  And it came to pass in the morning that his spirit was troubled; and he sent and called for all the magicians of Egypt, and all the wise men thereof: and Pharaoh told them his dream; but there was none that could interpret them unto Pharaoh.

sorry if im slow here:

 17 ¶ And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, In my dream, behold, I stood upon the bank of the river:
 18  And, behold,
there came up out of the river seven kine, fatfleshed and well favoured; and they fed in a meadow:
 19  And, behold, seven
other kine came up after them, poor and very ill favoured and leanfleshed, such as I never saw in all the land of Egypt for badness:
 20  And the lean and the ill favoured kine did eat up the first seven fat kine:
 21  And when they had eaten them up, it could not be known that they had eaten them; but they were still ill favoured, as at the beginning. So I awoke.
 22  And I saw in my dream, and, behold, seven ears came up in one stalk, full and good:
.23  And, behold, seven ears, withered, thin, and blasted with the east wind, sprung up after them:
 24  And the thin ears devoured the seven good ears: and I told this unto the magicians; but there was none that could declare it to me.

there came up out of the river seven kine, fatfleshed and well favoured;

the FAT, and the WELL-FAVOURED:

(every respected Teacher of God, aka: Rabbi...)

other kine came up after them, poor and very ill favoured and leanfleshed,
(the mystics, the friends of Jesus, the men who were told Hell, the men who can see...dis-respected in their time, the oppressed...

22  And I saw in my dream, and, behold, seven ears came up in one stalk, full and good:
.23  And, behold, seven ears, withered, thin, and blasted with the east wind, sprung up after them:
 24  And the thin ears devoured the seven good ears: and I told this unto the magicians; but there was none that could declare it to me

the wheat was good, because words were sent, Holy words, the words were like gold wheat to eat, but the messenger began to sin, and the Light was withered and men could see the Sin, so this made many sad and disbelieving,and they grew thin, in knowing damnation, but they also had a Voice...and the words didn't matter to God, because of the Sin...

OK, I explained a little better when I could speak over the reading..

Scriptures 1

I read the beginning of the Book of Mormons, until I came to a line, about "The cockatrice in Hell" It reminded me of what I had seen once, and I screamed, and I told everyone I was fighting again, so I threw the damned book away...I've been throwing books into bins, which is odd for me, I have to censor continually, because I get very sick, magical sick, I've thrown away comics, and a book that was made into a highly popular film...a new one...

The book of Mormons began about a tribe called Nephtali, who have to 'up stix' and leave the rest of the Jewish people where they are, to found a new tribe in Paradise, they take wives, etc, etc, the build an amazing ship...I don't know where they are supposed to be, they're not in Israel...I believe;

They are on an Alien Planet...perhaps Emena Ty (Beloved Earth), which was once Planet (Shas) Hell...(Shas, some kind of 'advanced' Hebrew Lore, that says, :

"Demons grow, they build on Hate (see this, a bad guy in his bed, groaning and squelching noises start, the thing is growing from his soul, into a huge dull white monster)...The planet had Hate...it was killed soul..>"A fighter arrived..."

...all demons destroyed, and a new family arriving, to lead out the damned humans, still on this planet, wearing chains...to a Holier Civilisation.


King Joseph.

Little Lord Joseph, blood of David...

Lets try remembering what only old guys are allowed to know:

Planet Shas:

"The fighter wore a pink dressing gown on the way to the shops, he decided to fight the devil, he faced the monster with it's rams horns, and dribbling flesh in the street...it collapsed and died, many men cheered, the juden frauline had saved them!! The iron chains they wore, were covered in a bright white light, they disappeared...and every man was saved..."

OK! What is written!:

"The fighter arrived...Shas was Hell...every man sang......"

الأحد، 17 أكتوبر 2010

Art Gallery

When I walked off from Her, I kept saying:


Bitch, Bitch, from the garden to the bed...I had been calling women bitch, out loud, knowing, there was a man in the shadows, somewhere in the mind. It's gross, some silly people, think they have to send words, which look like lines of different coloured light, into my skull, and into my brain, which, sorry, have exactly no, ears to hear you with...

There was screaming...at the art-gallery: A couple walked out from the restuarant into the smoking garden;

"Oh! Sweet, that woman's dressed as a nun!" They went to sit with some rich germans beside me...I started to notice.

"OK, the robe is leopard print..."

I kind of forgot that leopard skin is very rude material, so I was glancing back, thinking, OK, thats meant to be sick...prostitute.

A woman screamed, and screamed for a long time after I had gone back inside, walking over to a big picture that caught me with traditional hebrew writing...

"And a big gay head!!" A picture of a gross looking queer, then to my left, a creamy, slimy, plastic flesh coloured swastika...

"Well, I expect this..." The screaming continued...I started to feel dizzy and sick...the couple, the Nun, was carrying a bottle of something, and the man was wearing plastic black robes, with silver-studded crucifix, and a klux hat, with a platter, of bacon..

"If that bacon is uncooked, gross...you cant eat uncooked."

Something made me giggle,  a very tall model, with brown spiky short hair, a sheepskin jacket, falling off one shoulder, a blue shirt, extra long legs, holding hands with a small dark-haired teacher looking woman...

The art was inspiring because lots of it was bad...
"You see sweet! Tell me!"

I wanted to find people that I can tell them what ,

this week's parsha

means, in a personal way to me, that is for them, and is 'worldy' ? So the Lady said :

Tell ME!

Tajweed Odyessy 2/3rd

I bought a coffee, and a pistashio ice-cream with cone...at the nearest cafe...I chose that ice-cream, because it had a nice light green colour...

But it was gross, it was like a dead mouse wrapped in cardboard, and the darker green sauce, was like tasting bogies... the time moved quickly, over my free newspaper, and I arrived at the college...

I had forgotten to pay for the coffee and ice-cream.

I knew what to do,


Go somewhere else for a coffee.

Because I didnt have the cash this time, and oh no, I didnt realise they might forget...but still...I give charity like Heaven, I mean I give the gold stuff, and sometimes the paper stuff, but there was a mystical reason for not going back to that cafe...It meant, I wouldn't start thinking the whole IDEA, of this weekly travel, was to be going through bitch. I mean they dont look like friendly men. I dont think it's my shaved head, and the smoking on the pavement, or my face, it's them...like a little boy at the counter said:

"You are Chav, and I am Chavi..."

which means, in gypsy language, "You're a big Gay, and I've got lots of girls..."


He was a giant...

I spent months, after calling Lord, in May: How I called:

I sat in the garden alone, I focused until I was clean, in the mind...probably also, bits of my body, an overall cleaniness...I threw in and up, what I call lights, I sent what I wanted to say in light, upwards, in a place somewhere in the air just above my forehead, keepingthe light safe, by only focusing on God, not telling anyone I was calling in the mean-time...I didnt say what I wanted to say,I think I've heard God before...I said:

"Hello, I am designing mosques, I am also beginning tajweed lessons..."

A woman's voice replied in the sky:

"You will build me a House of Love...."

I stood up, I walked back into the house...

"You will bring Tajweed, Light..."

 You go off hungry...I was screaming and screaming inside, I "didnt want to listen..." I kept asking, "I didnt want to listen..." I wanted an addiction...another girl started calling, I thought it was the voice I heard...I wanted to give the voice bed...didnt want to listen...

That was in May, then I had Hell, the men got through the door...I thought I called her in the cafe, I called her in the library, men burning around me, a bit of the voice that burnt my infidel voice, burnt away a bit of skin on my face...I heard a voice say that men walking past in the street had defied, I was roping in all these people around me, in the heathen streets, when I just wanted to tell her I had to get out of men...I could hear a woman I knew speak to me: I said:

"Why the fuck am I hearing you?" I defied, that was the reply, I said she couldnt understand I was hearing another womans voice...going into eternal death...

I thought it would be funny to call people to Her, so I could kill them.

I began the beginner's course weeping, screaming and praying in class, while we were learning the arabic alphabet...I heard:

"You will be the headlice in your pen."

So I got slow in the classes, and over Ramadan studied, it was slow...I was screaming in class.

I left the beginner class, and started Language study.


 The first teacher was cool...but I kept putting in his mind:

"Thas gooddd..." Even though I bad.


الجمعة، 8 أكتوبر 2010


clear mind:

a lot of romance,


a lot of bending heads. and phone calls

the John Lennon Witchcraft Revival...

Nan over for dinner, with a tiny little rolled up body, and soft white hair, that makes you go "Oooh," and want to pat her head, while she bends over the table, looking at pictures of Dad, on a Krishnamurti Fun Expedition, picture calling hosted by mother;

"I dont find you at all funny, daughter..."

"It's Heathen, that whole thing is Heathen...."

We played Zip. Because I helped with the scrabble...

She had to go home quick, in time for Church.

I was pissed, drunk wine pissed:

"Fuck the game, me and Nan are going..." Quietly throwing the whole thing away....scrabble tiles all over the table.

The whole;

"Am I John Lennon? Yoko? Cynthia?" thing lasted until yesterday. I made new friends...of course I tried it with Yoko, much respect to Cynthia, but this whole Reincarnation thing was surprising me...the dopey headed guy with the death of the band era, beard and long hair, was in my posture, fighting my thoughts, but actually being much more sympathetic with everyone around me, despite the constant swearing...telling ym sister what...quietly swearing throughout the whole thing....I was wandering around the house, sure that we had joined souls so much I couldnt get him out...

"I'm a class actor."

"I see Paul I see George, I can remember bits of their soul, what was happening during their meetings.

I KNOW the fucking "Mahtharaja" Guru...wheeddly bits of his sinning, a joke guy...taking the piss out of his mannerisms that were suddenly coursing through my innocent reactions, through my thoughts and out into speech and peculiarity.

This wiritngs fuckign astonishing.

I stopped all that for Cynthia.

I want to wraggle Yoko's reactions until she was dead.

I knew stuff only she would know.

The Hate, one day, he walked through the house crying Jew's dead. That Jews killed:



"Fucking Hell man, that bitch knew, she knew she was his mother...and she knew cool."

I actually said:

"Gosh, what an interesting relationship, I dont understand you...I understand!!"

present, I thought more than that, but that sums up, YOU.

I was shocked, I meant to write;
"SScary..." "If you were his mummmmmmmmmmm, thats some damn sexual terror....I'm frightened"

Don't cheat in magic, dont go around watching other people's lives in other peoples rooms.


With the Flow...

"I think I'll have 'er, yeah, I'm damn bloody sure I'll ave 'er."

I prayed twice for his soul. But the damn soul was growing up out of me, out of the grass of the college's 'piece of field' outside, with gold beard, gold hooked nose, bendy souls.

I kept 'telling' Yoko.

I even told her:

What. Happened, when he died.

And this, I must have been on the hooky magical wine, because I knew...I dont know, I never know. It's evil fool. I said:

"When he was shot, you cried out:

"Black Man Dead!"

Now I'm asking for forgiveness here. It sparked into my speech. When something happens at such

at such speed, you go dotty, I was going dotty

 see-ing his face, emerge through mine, some dotty God, maybe:

When You die, swiftly, you'll cry out, SHIT, shit that's your last word...

It's hard to get into Heaven, I know, and maybe....maybe when I said that to her she laughed, I don't know, I go for 'death of soul'...I said it, I said it to her...and nothing died.

We will date. Anyway, I was turning Japanese, I was making; "Crap." sculptures in class:

"It is NOT Crap!!!" I was talking,

Japanese...we we're going through an Oriental Eyes see Best...we were in:

"Creamy White!!"

How many people were miffed about the importance of fighting; "Creamy White!" Because it is sick. Creamy White is a devil's soul. I fell in love with Hayley's soul;

"My eyes! Because I see you Dark Green!" I do turn japanese soul, half girl/half boy. Often times, if I breaking something, or fall out of the bath, I cry:

"I DIE!"

I like original japanese, none of that Lolita, or knifed wombs, I like nice, looking girls, and some twisting knives into the heart, to show I nobly;

It would be much easier, if someone explained I mean, this story would be cool if I wrote it like a story...

الثلاثاء، 21 سبتمبر 2010

The Babylon Monster

, I sensed something bad in the room. A huge monster, fill of foul words, the head of a woman, a large obese body made of faeces, and lots of yellow tentacles
And while eating my cookie ice-cream, at a cafe table, I unfortunately had my left eye, taken out by a claw...
I had to kill it. I've done this before.
I sang:
"I'm in love with someone, I might not show it....I in llllovvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! I lovvvvvvee the womeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnn..."
It floated backwards, and made a
It died!!

"what can you meek?"

"You write meek, then you fight it..."

"I told everyone, we're soul..."
Giant bright gold wings, massive...a lambs face, white fluffy with a little beard, a unicorns face, one horn in the middle of my forehead, changing size on whats whats, the prediction, the strange rhymes, the amount of eternal life you have left...

How did the lizards that fell out of my feet? evolve? forget the rats for a moment....they began to walk on their hind-legs...

Someone important to you, left for Heaven...and I made Him a planet, and I gave the planet a name...and I knelt in the garden and sang, and my hair was long, and gold, and I shone...

الاثنين، 13 سبتمبر 2010



dont love anybody;

dont like height
Black Ida...what a heat...reading...I like fearing. Repeat!

Where is show? I like looking light:

pillow: Cain, cain, cain,...."Cain, cain, cain...."

Then I'm evil.

الجمعة، 27 أغسطس 2010

Learning Koran

I was supposed to meet a girl, at my library, on this time, on Monday, a week after we met...I arrived a little early, but maybe late...I stayed there until it closed...about 6 hours, on the computer twice, and then at a table with books...

I arrived again the next day, and stayed for another 6 hours...I had seen her the Friday before, in an aisle, all dressed in white hijab...

http://mysticalpaths.blogspot.com/2007/11/ben-ish-chais-verdict-in-heaven-return.html (this about soul travel, v.interesting

but, I grabbed the bag, from under the table, and ran out...Sitting odwn at the table, in front of the aisle, I spotted a Koran for Idiots...I picked it up and read through a few pages...then I took down a Quran translation that had been donated, I quietly placed it on the table in front of me, some people kiss it, others place it in cloth, I just quietly moved it up the table away from me in a special place,until i felt well enough to pick it up again, because I was goign to think something stupid...I read idiots again, and found an interesting passage, with an Ayat, about Creation...I began to copy down the Arabic into a book and read it after I had written it down...I stayed light, until I heard a woman's voice mumbling ( a voice that sounded like someone I knew, but maybe wasn't, maybe she was a djinn, made from some of her heathen thoughts)...I fought this voice, and continued copying down verse...I thought the woman djinn up to God, mostly I was unsure, I thought it was the woman I knew...I said,

"I'm writing this before God..."

But I was worse, I wanted to kick the woman into a judgement, the thing is, it was her, not particulairly annoying me, but mumbling to herself...I thought she knew what I was doing, and arrived to kill it...terds...then I relaxed, and began writing another verse...still warning the woman, that we were writing and talking before God...I slip quick...but I kept writing...mostly, I speed write, like I speed eat, I don't know why, I think I'm in a rush to keep getting somewhere, to keep walking...and save something for the future...

When I looked at the next verse, my hand was flowing, I was writing quickly, but this time, I could see the Arabic lettering, together...I mean I began to;

Read the verse out loud, the Arabic, as though I was reading out my native language...I mean my pen stopped at the end of the first word, but I read the whole verse, through,  as though someone had given me a lot of help...I could read it, flowing but couldn't yet understand what the words meant.

I told the woman what had happened...that I could hear myself read the whole verse, without struggling...like a little white light had been turned on...I read the verse well, flowingly before my pen could jot it down, as a complete verse..."God heard me!" I said to the woman djinn..."And she's given me skill in reading this,..."

I said; "I'm not sure what the words mean, but they will come to me..."

But I stopped writing,and lost myself quickly, I started calling out, "Bitch", then believing some one was calling me about someone;

"Bugger!" ("Grandad swears, do I have to honour Grandad, with a swear word? I know that is just TOO sarcastic...")

"Bitch." "Bugger!"

I wasn't dying or turning into a demon, I was still light, but the word bugger, just kept appearing...I supposed I was hearing someone talk to me...

الثلاثاء، 24 أغسطس 2010

The Boys!

I'm in the supermarket....flicking through the jewish chronicle, in a busy newpaper stall, where people keep grabbing under my paper, for the heathen rags...there's some interesting articles, usually i read them out loud, but i dont want to hover too long, and I've just spent my paper-pound on a scratch-card, because I'm trying to raise some money for a date, the possibilites of paying for somewhere, or something...

Suddenly I feel eyes, around me, staring intently...

then I realise these eyes are about a foot and a half above the ground...alien-like, eyes of  superior minds...

So, i read about the jewish astronauts, but I dont want to linger too long...and the cousin who inherited the Klimt Art Collection, is a "lucky bastard..." and I walk...

I realise, that, kids that aren't mine, are watching me...the same kids, in an Orthodox Jewish family, I met previously in a supermarket toilet, when I was out, with the mentally disabled group watching our annual film.

I'm not freaked, so I let them see lights from my thoughts, silver, wow, what did I say?...I wear my white wings...to show Angel...

I think I've lost them, as I walk home through the quiet streets. I have to toilet, I have to hygiene...the 'boys' are toddlers...they both wear big muslim looking black kippahs that cover the whole head, and coats that match exactly one of my old coats, brown cordoroy, with hoods...so, they're The Boys!

I dont know why I've been followed...because I'm dreaming about a date with a girl...

The eyes leave, and I pee, I fill the bath...I am bathing with my clothes on...

I sit down to the mirror, and I'm doing things to my face....and then,

 I feel the eyes again;

"...midwitch cuckoos..."

they move off again:

to report:

"That lady  painted a  'Maschtas'  on her face!!"

"She washes her face and sings!"


They talk to me, but I can't hear;..."Why did you wash off the paint?"...

Their sister says:

"If you are on a date, you must sing!"

The boys say:

"She is getting ready for a date, but she is still ugly!!"

I wonder what their Dad thinks, why Mum kept walking with her head moving round, and her eyes away, like she was hearing voices...Dad was pushing a pram, and giggled when he saw me, because I said Hello!
 I said, Boys you wear a coat like mine!

"You must keep singing!"

الثلاثاء، 17 أغسطس 2010

A Girl Called Yes

so I was in the library, with my cherry colour (cola) beside me, writing a list of arabic words...I looked quickly to my right at another table, where a girl had just sat down...I looked back at my books...sighting, this..."IS my folder, with a big ARABIC written across it...look..."

When she caught my attention by standing up swiftly, and leaning forward, I shook a little...

"You are learning Arabic!!"

Yes, I am.

Then she moved towards my table, and stood in front of me...she was wearing black snood, under a black hijab...she was slim. I looked at her side-ways with wandering eyes...she was wearing make-up, good well-applied hazel make-up, purple and black, her face was quite...light/pale...she said loudly:

"Do you want me to teach you Arabic!!!"

I listened to her accent...I said, "You are Russian, you are a spy...Polack...you sound polish..."

"No, no, I am just beginning,...I I I can't make words, I mean I haven't learnt how to put sentences together, yet, ..." And I waved my pen over, the books, and grabbed at one and flicked through...waving at the words in the book...and pulling them towards me like I wanted to hide them...I said;

"I am not very good, I can't put sentences together, I'm a bit stupid...I've know, I I, I've been learning (5 weeks), 5 weeks, no; less, a month and a half..."

she sat at her table again, holding a mobile phone up, and staring at its screen...

I smiled, hoping, looking to see if she was smiling too, and went back to writing the list...but stopped and just stared at it, then looked side-ways, and began gathering the papers and books around me to make a neater space...and she shot up again, and stood over me, her face leaning into mine...

Then I said: "I am doing a course...which I have to pay for...but it is closed for Rama'dan' (rama-daaaaaaan) Rama Rama, rama dan...I I I....daa' daan, I am not converted, I am at ----name--- college...(thinking, someone has planted her here, a polack, why did i give the place....)...it is a charity..(It is a very poor place, that's why we give money, the ceiling has holes in it and messy walls, and the pens run out....)....it has barbed wire, and pen bars over it...it is a charity, (what? organation?) ah, ah"

She lifted her eyebrows.

" I am doing this because...I am silly...and I love poetry (Rumi, Khayyam) and I love the music...the college is behind the ----- Mosque...(will you find me there?) I should not tell you this..."

I think she told me a few times she would teach me, and everytime I said No...I was blushing, and I said so, I was "red." looking down at the book...I thought; "I haven't blushed for a very long time, I did it all the time at school, in front of pretty teachers..." (I was even mute for a whole year of Graphics...)

"You were born a muslim?" I asked, because I was sure she was a polish convert...she bowed and looked:

"YES! I was born a muslim..."

She was standing there looking, while I blushed...I moved the book:

"I, I also go to a ART...a school...I mean...art-school....just , I mean a silly little course at a local college...I am embarassed about Rama'dan, I am so stupid to pronounce...so,

"I also design mosques, well a little, it stopped...I am doing this course, because I want to go to study Architect....tect...tureeeeeeee....ar-architect (I am stupid so I will say that wrong, also)...please leave me...'

She replied:

"I know alot, of, mosques...!!"

"No, no..."

"My name is Lou, lou...not the boys one, Louis...What is your name?"

Loud, she leaned very close to my face, she had quite large lips and they were hazel, and I said "Autumn!" ("because I used to wear my mum's hazel coloured lipstick when I was a teen, and I love Autumn colours"):


"You are YES, YES!"

I repeated her name, and pronounced it perfectly...

She leaned forward again, and shouted:


"Please leave me..."

She said:

"Can you meet me, here, at the same time, on the same day??"

I said:

"I am going to my parents....no, no...yes, I can meet you here, on Monday, pleaase leave me alone...."

She sat down at the other table again, I wondered what she was doing here, why she had no books, the reason for her being in the library, was because she was a spy sent to find me, a russian spy...she was holding the phone in front of her again, up in the air, doing nothing but stare at it;

I ran out...I left her with:

"Do you smoke?" She said: "No..." like she was sad ...I ran out, and sat in a corner by the entrance...then; she walked out a split second after, holding the phone up in front of her...and turned the corner to the car-park...I went back in, and sat at a computer, looking out the window...but I saw her drive away in a small red car...it was sad, so I wrote my email address, and left it at her place at the table...


There are songs in Hope, and for some reason this is my YES song...It played in Dad's car...it lifted me...The Klaxons-Echoes...it's nothing special...

الاثنين، 16 أغسطس 2010

The Moon Lady

"I want fight!! Shine my King is SOUL!!"


Every Sin is HIM, He was first lover!

I see the End of Death, we will...."

A Girl CAlled YEs

soundtrack; (so, I said hi....hiatus)

Baby D-Let me Be Your Fantasy, followed by:

Warriors Dance-Prodigy,

How Soon is Now-The Smiths

, after a fight with an afro nerd goth;

and light awoke: and she said:

"I am LEVANNAH< THE QUEEN OF LOVE< my name is ;;;;"

A Girl Called Yes

Sometimes, when I'm in red...or unsure of what to say, or rather how to say, because I'm usually insulting someone before in an uncontroallble spurt of many forgein languages I talk like a 'fat-girl'...a dumb dumpy meek nuttter....

I was unwittingly, and too quickly, writing down a list of words; he praised, he chased away...planning my colour chart to make tonight with my colour pencils...writing sooooooooo quickly I didnt register howwwwwwww to remember the words...I didnt register that that Alif in the middle of a few words...that, the word had to be read, all, together...as a flowing line...so Iraq, and Iran helped out, and I forgot the F and the Qaaf, again, and flipped back through the beginner book, which has lost its cover, and is covered in scribbles... I also translate my poetry on a computer...if you read back, you know I have been calling Father...

the quotes from the Quran at the end of the book, were full of Making Shaytan, and being in Darknedd, as though, I thought one line didn't make sense, it said: God made the Darkness...I was supposed to read that to Father, but;

I only said: "I suppose... (that you)..."

Oh what have I done? Called every leader in God, hebrew ones, that I'm;


because I couldnt go back to him, with I'm dead...and last week was so dark, I read Boy in Striped Pyjamas...I read that through telling...


The Fury; someone thought I was calling for Fuhrer...I was just reading my book...I said I like Fury! Not Furher...

I bought the cherry cola, cheap, because I like to smoke after about half an hour out side the library doors...I'm getting weak, so I eat alot...I get weak from walkign up stairs, I got suddenly dizzy from the heat...so I skipped Ramadan and could never make a Hajj, in the desert, but I call God, and I have Angel Wings...I see I am gold inside my eyes and in my hands...I discovered in the book-shop when I lifted a hand to my head, and there was a glow of light from the tap, and flowing about my hand...but I change colour,and each colour is a soul...

I thought, What did I tell HER? ( a womans voice, I know my reaction to men.)

A HOUSE OF LOVE, ('built' by me)

I sent green eyes (true love) I sang lemon (worship)


I was worse down here...bad...damned...

A Girl Called Yes

I'm in the library trying to pronounce Philistine, and Lubnin, creectly....c.o.r.rec.t.l.y...the plan was to stay. away. from. the house...

I bought a Costa coffee, for 2 pounds 5 pence, I had 10 pounds today...I get five a day...yesterday I spent 3 pounds, but I still had a flim (a five pound note) ...I picked up twenty pence off the floor, earlier, on the way to the bus-stop, dodging large dollops of stinking dogs-poo, sure I was going to end up smashing my face in it and licking it with my tongue, it's this uncontrollable flying...

stay with me... I gave the server guy, one 2 pound coin, and a fifty p coin...then I remembered the twenty p coin...I took his hand as he was tapping up the machine, took the fifty, and replaced it with the twenty into his hand....ok so;

cost of cappuccino (I went there to sit for at least an hour over Arabic books)

: 2:05

cash given 2:20 p

change received: 45p

HA! so I grabbed everything quick, which was a bit silly, because I nearly spilled it (and I've left two cafes, because of things like that...like manky crisps, split tea that had been dropped in front of the counter, and no refunds)

and later bought a cherry coke, for 39p (national London prices 60-70p) at the 99p store;

OK, that's the story of the coffee, later one of the library...

الأربعاء، 11 أغسطس 2010


"The Pavilion got blown up last night...Me and my mates."

Outside the door of the hospital, on a fire alarm call, smoking...

"Yes, because I sent you through a bright (neon) blue door, to Emelbert, where there is a World Wide War...you've been there for weeks..."

Making Music 2

(beware of this post if you're frummy)

If you seek Amy tonight...Sister gets a free million dollars, and discovers my favourite club, in a white tunnel, through the big doors into an auditorium, with small doors into a movie area, full of horror films, and art-horror films...the last time I tried to get to the club was by a magical underground tube station route...I'm in a dark city area, but the frum (jewish girls in skirts and headcoverings ) -girls want me to pray with them, I want to go to the club, I wake up...and go to the station...still in the dream

"Now they're closing up the club..." It doesn't make any sense does it?? But I discover on the way, she's bought it out, my sister, with the money I gave, and it's been closed down..."Ohhh..."

Amy always disappearing on her benders...They are people standing in our way, on the way to see a concert featuring Amy, the Britney chaperone tells them to clear the way, because I'm a unpopular boss in Heaven...I turn into a man...Rehab, Summer 08 or 07...she calls me in the garden, I'm high on a mixture of red pill medication and things from Heaven needles I put in my hand, I dont want to talk, we last met in a karate match...Aunty is a big afro-haired nerd, very tall....she has a monotonous voice...I recognise it..."Can somebody, take me home?" Now we allllll know Amy's favourite drink...I turn into a family guy...

In A Place, was a soul song, an awful attempt at honouring a family who wanted me to marry their little daughter...it was the first family...it contained an F chord...to B...to an Eminor...magic that I found the chord sequence...I even sang it...

the paracetamol event went on for about 2 weeks, that's two weeks of taking magical MDMA.

There is also, the Wibbly-Woof, of Planet Jesus, light blue dust,, silver trees, one mental disabled trip out to a park, I was taking drugs every few steps...say 200 yards...I took;

Ezquitar Dime; gold dust. That makes me sing in fluent Italian...

LSD (acid) a pile of dark blue stuff...american stuff...that made all the trees become more trees, dark blue dusky trees...

I was wary of Dabalien Evil, (a grey dust, a dark grey the colour of Hell)

The black liquid stuff, a type of acid,

I was also walking and writing a book, with someone taking down my lines...

In the hospital, I took a whole night...I took some of the blue stuff...the next morning I had  blood/or rather a routine urine test...they found


that was surprising, because I had only taken LSD, and too all accounts, because I couldnt leave the premises, I was taking no more, than other peoples tobacco...

There was a horrible night too, when I lay in bed, and men flew to me, and injected me in the body with about ten needles, I had to call Amy, and told her...she sang to me, and said cool...I managed to fight the drug, and got up ten minutes later feeling OK...I didnt tell what happened exactly...then a long time later, I thought maybe she was with bad men, who had been put "Into her FLY"

One day she told me she was on the way to church...I was fighting Satan, there was a hugely obese monster man outside the window, made of shit, actual faeces for flesh...I killed it...I encountered a black hound with big firey red eyes lurching at me, as I stood outside the doors with mum and dad, smoking...I grabbed a very silly, giant sword made of neon blue fire, and sliced it in half...I kicked the bin.

Now I know the obese man wasn't Satan but an old aquaintance...a very sick man...flying to our car, with the baby sister inside, and telling us:

"Chicken Liver balls, chicken liver balls..."

And other things as recounted here: PJ HARVEY (be prepared for bad lyrics)...who in fact I think I have always forgiven since I heard the song...particularily the sick, the fact that I have been fighting this pervert for along time...and that he said those things to my sister just turned 11, and did more...

I want him dead...

IS this six with a piddopile, how many times have I cried him to HELL...cried Hell, and the first fly, was when I thought I was calling friends...it was becoming, years more of Hell...see-ing things he did, see-ing him

well, this recount, is ...perhaps you find it funny, but there hasnt been one day in four years, when I haven't died and screamed and fought, and think, also, that he would fly to the kid-sister...

he keeps making a man in the house, call out "small penis." over and over... and what are you supposed to make of that?

I just left her, I've left her alot..why? why? why? perhaps I don't understand...look; red:

God...this is anonymous...I think writing things like this is trouble, VENGENCE, a silly word...Now I'm cursing now I'm praying for a girl to see him Hell, not lovers...if I reveal things she will never recover, so why cant somebody just make her think NO?

"May Father Hell him Foul" This man who used to repeat disgusting words, because we? I thought he was in white man Hell, and even on lotssssss of cannabis began to realise they were seedy men, sitting in a cab with two them and suddenly calling out loud they were peddles, and then the all the magic, old men appearing, knowing in Soul to get the Hell out of there, running to a police station see-ing everything turn to night...discovering there wasn't any fight with God or Satan in him...getting sick on them appearing at the house every-day...hating, screaming making such a fight that I smashed windows, hated in the end see-ing his handsome face, whacking him with the nearest item, a curtain pole, bang straight into his forehead, the creepier men appearing talking about the invention of concentration camps,

being called, a "Holocaust Boy."


Then wanting him to know I was King...

Ran screaming. And every day fighting Hell...see-ing Foul

الثلاثاء، 10 أغسطس 2010

Making Music

                     plan b-prayin' (respected/be patient)

" Love-Stoned...I think that she knows." Interlude...wow, I always say that part looks like the Judean Desert...the story of how that was made is new to you.

And I know I was playing violin, up 'there' and Emelbert rat-people saw magical Northern Lights, singing a Queen, and well, it was a Christmas Present, The Good The Bad and The Queen, that was my piano with Damon, (I called him when he was in Iceland, but I was in bed dribbling, and I had a boys voice, I was the Hero of Ezquitar ; Louis Dov, and I said I knew he was secretly taking heroin, he just called me a "Prat." I was upset, but I kept chatting) and its about my area, I had an idea of writing Michal , who first appeared in my sisters room, over a pool of fire, I had opened wide, and thrown a dagger with a turquoise handle into, and the flying witch shadows and the flower in her hat, sitting on luggage waiting for a train, I tried to remember her Aramaic, and I wrote a little play, I made a mad family-tree, which included names like Jesus, I wrote lots of song-words, and in our shared mental hospital kitchen, even remembered chord sequences, and played a guitar in their and sang my first completed odd song, In a Place, and I got

a headache every night

so I took paracetamol, that had been spiked magically with the drug Ecstasy, and so I tried to find and collaborate with kids doing Garage or House or Drum n Bass songs, with a pad of lyrics and worse, some dedicated to Jesus, and then this insane rap goingthrough my mouth, for hours in one night:

"I is the blood of Aaron...etc...etc..." and I saw a man and woman riding a cloud, and I thought I was getting stuck in their head, but I sat on the bed until dawn...

and I've even met Pink, calling me at the hotel/mental hospital, because we wrote together, and Britney called at the Rehab...and Amy Winehouse, talked 'sadly' ??? not sure ...cool...in Summer 2006, when I lay on the lawn in my mothers garden...and course PJ, singing Good Fortune with my boys today...I just wanna be humpy, I'm a bit sick of, being told that they know I'm ill, i want to be able to tell them something well

lots of dribble, I want new songs


                          plan b-prayin' (respected/be patient)

"Be in Peace."

So you need to know Lars Shalom called Allah (her)Self, about two months ago, and things were a trial, and i called her again and i didn't want to hear, then i wanted power to listen, which meant calling Her to relate, and repeat Herself, then i wondered why i could make people know my mind, or create magical; images, without going to Her, then i saw lights around my head, and said Turn Them Up Louder, meanwhile men were still getting through the door, and then bed got better, then i got worse, and didn't go to find a quiet or public haven to prayer, so lost my memory in tajweed class, and started screaming, when the whole class was calling out a list of arabic words, one of which kept repeating through my mind, as I realised I had just begun singing The Shema, and then crying that I'm hebrew, and we're dead, and I'm "Proud to discover I am part of the Holier People..."...then dropping a book, I'm meant to buy for another, because it said Jerusalem was to be found in Palestine...and of course reading this to God, and worse, when I went back to return a book in the Islamic shop, (a part three book, that I thought would be no problem, but was full of annoying verb usage) found it closed, "For Prayer" and read the poster on the wall to God, about THIS, (more than a charity organisation, a story of a very clever woman who could recite the entire Koran, a doctor or teacher, was set up by the American government, lied about and tortured continually, and had her children taken away from her, after lies that she had shot at men in an airport, by concealing a gun under her clothes, when she was married to an american man (???)...the charity wasfounded at the beginning of this year, lots of government lies."...the muslim under world...") and reading her baby had been discovered in a pool of blood, while she was still being tortured in prison... I forgot about while she wept, and I ran around my garden, listening to Serj Tankien (lazy, music tastes, all the same stuff for about a year on record) which all made me think I had to cry, and so I "BECOME a silly Armenian accent, (because now Dad is Armenian, and my accent is magically exact, and singing to people in other countries, stuck with me conducting comedies, people I've found on blogs" and lots more about jewish people being stupid and unholy...and She told me the woman was now in Heaven..

until i just left with a pile of new sins, and at the last a huge scream in the skies, and requesting dead people to pray and kill, then pray again...and then though oh no bother, and then tried to find what the name is that appeared in my head; AMIDAH, as I was trying to cleanse my soul, and channel a holy cry in Emelbert, to just showing individual souls, and then worse, reading a book and writing sexual sickness....and always asking Her for help and forgiveness, then my eyes that turn dusky grey, which is the colour Satan, after all those years of fighting Hell, pretty well actually...I had a bad dream this morning...nothing to tell....I asked if she could see the Dream, the Her is a Jewish Shekninah

Jalla Jalaluhu!

"When you arrive in Arabia, Holiest Christ. We have Paradise..."

...The Mother is the Source of All things.....

A special time is peace, the music is the breath of life.

She keeps saying " they want red", I don't know what red meant. It's pissing me off a little.

السبت، 17 يوليو 2010


When we are all dead, and mum and dad call me, wondering where I am;

"I will be higher than Lover...and I will feel every soul in death...and I will make great souls...these souls will rise for God, and they will set apart the men...they will be beautiful...I will live in white...Abraham will be my Queen...I will sleep for Nigh Time...when I hear them I will become High...I will let them know I am High...I will enter a door higher than dove...I will bring four women with me, they will be like manna unto God, like succor unto wealth, honey and milk of my Bride...I will keep Heavenly God, I will be meek...I will fly a dove to God...I will sleep 49 days, and then arise unto God...I will see women like dove...I will forever Love..."

The Infidel hath No Time, they burn the Bride, I will fly Time, every death soul shall sink...they will become like as to waste, they will perish...when I call Him, they burn...their death needs haste...lay them to waste...become as to God, and lay the Infidel to waste...their time hath come...I count the men to naught...I hath brought God, they will perish...become Truth...they knock on the door, I won't...Yay, have the Infidel killed!!

When I looked upon this Ark, I saw it was unclean...I was dead...it was grey, the colour of dark hell, I looked at it and said; Love/Clean...I felt fine!!! So much happier, fuller...it doesn't last long...the Angels had moved, they were both facing me...men tried to look, men defied, they went blind...I can expect two kisses before sunday...ON monday I can expect Love...on tuesday, a fluerp...wednesday will be mixed blood...a whole night of snogs...

"The Ark hath power...Gabriel sails on Love...her power is slightly brought upon men...she needs FRUM...the Ark hath cried her Love...it will happen and we will die...these girls want to marry God, treble god...Paradise will be shown...hell hath moan...Let Gabriel go...the Ark has cried a seed of love...this will be love...she gets one kiss...the men yay went blind, they were power overcome...they hit paradise...I have them died...Gabriel looks and Gods...she will have the wine...she will expect gods...women must welcome her...men must still be god...we thank her...the infidels have burned...


الجمعة، 16 يوليو 2010

Train Announcements

"Zere is a presence ere. Tis a Sun T'ing..."

Train Announcements

"Ze train will be stopping at this li'ane, zats becus o'dis fire t'ing..."

(female voice)


"Please Help....Lars has SOUL...he needs work, he will touch Light...I want Light...See Her...my name is Michal..."

The naughty dog, sits outside the empty Synagogue, now, for two days a week, you can bet I called everyone; that; I'm in Hell...

The naughty dog sits outside the extra building for 'women only' prayers, in the doorway, smoking a cigarette, with a scarf hastily wrapped round the head...the men here are "very conservative."

"I am too, I'm sick of see-ing men..."

Another girl in my class smokes too...she's married and Asian, everyone in my class here to learn Arabic are Asian...

"Where was I born? I'm a white girl!"

Continually crying to God, and then, not even listening to the white cloud in my eyes, is making me slow and stupid, I spend 45 minutes praying, when I should know vowels, and how to join letters and not mix them up...I just laugh far too loudly, I throw my laugh over the fence seperating us, I wince and sigh and worry when the Adhan starts, and the teacher bends to pray, I make him say, "tha's Good." when I read out the letters, it makes me sick, I hate the use of power that makes people speak, at the lowest level, which means, my english, if I think in English, I'm pretty well-developed in Punjabi, yet I guess the flow of the words I speak, is nonsense; like I've just invented the language...it's hard to stay in silence...

...I jump in peoples beds for Help... I cry

"I'm the guy in the crown, I'm crowned Cohen..." I have a hat, alot like this,

but sometimes it's deep purple (sorrow) sometimes dark green (true love), much like, the first time I saw myself in that hat, I was lying across the floor, and being given a magical hat, rubbing the skin of my face all-over the ground, cut on stones and dirt (mourn Israel).

Then I Hell-Fire, talk, I repeat what Satan did. I have failed everyone, and mostly created nervous breakdowns...

Then I get confused, very confused...

"Are these women real? Who was that man? Who made that happen, I mean a man who thought he was a king and that I was a new wife...and that I swore to kill him, because of everything, and I cursed and cursed him...and that knocked me down...and then I see it was'nt even real..."

Then I don't want to be King, because I have a huge deep black face, for King.

I sat in corner of the station by the pub, in a pool of piss. "Oh well, that's ok."

Then I thought I could kiss this wife, on the train.

Then, I got home, I went to the couple in bed for help...my neck ached because my head was being thrown forward, and my arm went funny, because, I was ;

"Going through a change, they are forcing me to turn into a man, I not your Jesus!! STOP CALLING! I'm a girl...I hate your Jesus..."

Then I was screaming and growling and cursing, and having a fit on the floor. I couldnt get away from the couple, and when I saw him kiss his wife's shoulder, I went nuts, rolling on the floor, and those wings, becoming like a little tree-bush, that kept screaming and fluttering all round my face...And I screamed and cursed them, and vowed to curse them everywhere...then I calmed nad sat on my chair, cross-legged, wearing a crown of thorns, the spikes in my forehead, and I heard voices, and voices that were killing. And I stayed there, for a very small amount of time.

Everyone wept.

الأحد، 11 يوليو 2010


 I've been through Hell....men of Hell....

I sat in the garden, in the dark, chain-smoking, and praying, asking for people in Heaven, to help, to send a message to God, the one I call Shekinah (the female divine presence).

When I went to my room, I made pillows and a blanket, for the floor...then I had a vision...

I saw a woman in gold, with three pairs of wings, I heard a moan, and she fell off the throne...it's because I was in Hell...

I said; "What is your name?"

She said; "The Angel, Shekinah..."

Aneshka was the one staring at me, from under the pillows, "...the Angel of a Star, in the Sky..."

I flew deepest black wings, they fluttered and roared, and opened, she hit me with a golden white light, and I tripped on my hands, it was forcing a kind of electric into me, my soul changes to a boy-angel, thick bright white hair, with a touch of light neon blue, and black long-sleeved shirt, and black trousers, and huge thick black mono-brow...I forget what I was doing in speak, I was,

crawling on my knees and hands on the floor, growling...boy-angels have voices like little dogs, gruff, and a little angry bark...

I was barking in anger, and

she sent me clouds of golden white light, with hints of lemon, hitting a storm of light into my body, hitting me in my back, and making me twist and turn and roar, and moan, and shaking, as I was still on my hands and knees, looking at the floor, crying:


Every-time I got hit by light, I shook, being zapped by a bit of light, in places, like my back and shoulders, and because I was fighting the light with deep black hatred,  I shook, and I growled, and I complained and barked and shouted, and ,mostly, in Lars, I just laughed...she laughed too...

then I had to sleep, keep her safe, and sleep...Aneshka turned deep dark green. Her wings opened and snapped.

الجمعة، 9 يوليو 2010

Understand Angels

we sparkle

what do those green lights in your eyes say? I start crying again.

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school, i saw her in the corridor, small with jet black hair...i was in an older year...I told her; "I want you."

the best day; the star-da

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I sit here crying..blood tears, hiding from the family. She loves the boy who knows the 'gang from satan'...


i saw her safe, i saw sin, i be face, sink towards another eye, see a little, perfect like you, i was killing in myself, it meant i wanted hate, i saw her!! she said, i love you like the stars

this will take much thinking

1st bed : "oh, isnt there something more?" they listen, they watch too...i love heaven, i love heaven, explain in science, understand the Angel, listen, then to the angel, write her
One Day was the best day of Life. We shared the same day.

It was my first week of Arab school, I started on the day of Mohammed's Ascending to Heaevn, Day, and me and Anashka, we share the birthday. On the second day, I saw a sign, whose words changed to Jihad, the Jihad was disgusting, it has ended, it began in Liverpool St. Station, and it ended, I sat on the entrance steps until it ended, I did worse, I cried everyone to fall again, today I've been sensible, I asked for them to pray...Michal flew in, in purple-dresses to rest on my chest...blue bubblegum ice-creams...nearly shaking...

I gave one five pound note, to a homeless woman crying, I flew 2 pounds and silver coins into a man's hand...then the small jihad...sick, I said Satan...

Bleeding Eyes

She shrieked about money, I got upset, and a little angry...I turned and looked at her,

her eyes began, bleeding, dripping tears and tears of blood...

"I got so angry, I killed you..."

Mum's eyes did the same...

"Every one has died, I have brought Satan...the eyes, the eyes cry, murder...every murder, I kill...I said, I love you to God. and Mummy sees Satan...I've killed."

Pain. The pain was a face full of blood, hands twisted together, and eyes seeping blood...that wasa, Show Love. I said, hands twisted together, grabbing my face:

"This is Love! This is Love! Take the Pain, take the pain!"

"...there is a place in the heart that dies, its the place that screams...why dont we make something Heaven??"


‎"I can find the place where you scream..."


الاثنين، 5 يوليو 2010

Lars Shalom

Lars Shalom fought the angels...Time for Anoushka is mine, She must have long chestnut hair. If she is Russian, what an accent!

...you fought them for Law. They were lighting Law like Haven, but they wanted Free. They wondered the line, "make her free." She is a special present. The tears are back...I spent cuddling, crying, hearing a gang from Satan, and crying, having Hell visions, waiting for no one, to get them out of my mind...Crying beside, crying in the garden.

I hit bad, and we turned...I was why first, my eyes turned dark brown, then her lover was why, and why is the colour of jewish eyes, soul eyes...then I hit, and she was why...

theres two new colours now, and raspberry's been hanging around...I didnt study the colours, raspberry, and a light, white green...I saw them kill her.

I couldn't see her face, I held her and told jewish..."I should just touch your hand. I've taken everything. This is a jewish story...if I put my hand on your leg, we've used everything up, the romance, I have to go backwards. It's not nice to hold you there." The pillow was in my arms, I brushed her neck with my lips...something became so fast, the premonition was idiotic, I was on a garden chair, rolling my head around. They killed her in my arms, they sent a sword through her neck, and made vampiric voices...I couldn't want to mourn again, so I asked Mum to check her room...I couldn't be well, to just lye there, look I went into the garden and lit up...I came back. I hate the silly, and I kept crying 'thick, thick...'

"There's something mad in you, it makes me nuts." It's silly squealing. It's lying that you're gay.

"There are no woman left, gay women do not exist, I am alone, and I want marriage, no one is a lesbian..."

"Oh, she's pretty!"

I can't stand that talk, I walk around quietly screaming. Then to remember, 'this red talk, get me out of red.' I have to remember her past. I have to remember when I liked sweet...she keeps saying somethings red.

"It's you, this stupid acting, this red in you, you mean, I mean, you know this... it's just, this; "it's all hot." I am hating girls."

My girl has been swiftly beheaded, and no-one will help. "I think you should all just fall to hell...i'll do it...I'll fall you."

This colour that got in her souls, it was the sickness. It's a light glassy blue, that says 'damned now' it's like old women's eyes, almost dead. Then I've made her feel dark brown ("Father Father, we have death, we have death, every man is hate...") But she is also dark-green, could that be a lie, I start crying quietly again...dark green = true love.

Thats odd isnt it?? IS that the lie?

"If she already knows me, or waits for me, she is already praying for me? I wonder what she likes to draw? Do I pray to keep her well? My prayers are a curse..."

They say my praying is "Pagan!" click fingers shout die, lye there and think numb. It takes one person to pray someone.

I decided to have one day with her then leave. I wanted to remember a time, when she was a small lover. We were bright, and clean. We were lighter...sweeter...careful...good...clever...she was tiny.

Then something tells me her lover is she-witch. Nope. She's upset and sweet. She just looks man-like. short hair, a face that looks?? she's getting bigger and bigger!! I got a watch in silver, hanging from a chain...It's disgraceful, it's nuts!!! It's that nutty path she takes in her life, to what?? fight?? die??? A dark-haired girl with a woman-man.

Keep me away from Anoushka, I'm too frightening, wait until we meet. Sure everything will give me sweet-stuff.

They showed me sick, bed...I dont know how. I thought she was dead. I thought, I'll clasp her neck in my hands, where the blood is...the walls covered in spurts of blood. It's dishonourable to lye in bed, with no head, the body must still be in movement.

Then I told her, my tears, why I was crying...and dark brown. I made her unwell.

I was nearly sleeping...so, well...some creep was crying;

"Tell me the future of Man!"

"I hate man-kind..."

I see a white static image of her on the edge of the bed...

"I see my girl...future...thank you..."

The relationship has lasted a whole day, and I'm off to sleep...

"Wife wife, Heaven, marriage..."

She is in black, sleeping a mile away from me on the other side of the bed, she says wife...she said that when I was making coffee in the kitchen, my head hit the sideboard...I don't believe in marriage;

"It cant be wife...I'm too deadddddddddDD!!!!!!!! FOR HIM!!!!!!! Tell me Wife!!"

I waited on the sofa, half way through the relationship, yesterday...thats when I remember..then there's the boy she was with...then there's redemption...I say to the ceiling-angels;

"Keep Aneshka, well, we need light...oh my, you are Angel, too...Anoushka the University...it's gone, I don't know..."

All day Satan men are crowding me, so I just silently sleep...I remember the bad job, the sick men in the care-home, how she has to see bad illnesses, wake up early to get to work...where she is from me, three streets away...

"NO future...then...no..."


Anoushka was the one I predicted, the one I would have for Love, only...the only one left, she was the one I would meet in the future...

perhaps I enter University, and meet the Russian Girl, there. And share a bed...

(also, this song is driving me nuts; strangeness and charm, by Florence...I don't change music often...I like repetition, because I'm dead...constantly, that awful, "Feeling all me Love..." over and over...why that? It's sad, it's like a little Jamaican nutty t'ing...?...it's so shit, and I love it...it's about "atoms" ...?...well I love science, thanks.)

When I wake up I know. I mean I sleep, but when I remember Angels, I'm home, I know angel-friends by name, I say hello to them, by name, and it surprises me, then it goes and I'm back to being Dov...not Lars, maybe Lars, Lars is an alien, a 'freedom fighter for shul,'

Anoushka, the Russian girl; is the one who, is the one, who Wife...I mean shows Love, I don't want to write it's TRUE...it's just she is my future, and she is the one, that...

that knows...

Here's where I found her...I dump many for knows;

For my name is Shalom, for Peace. Hello.

She got an A Star. Don't be Late.



I'll explain later.

السبت، 12 يونيو 2010


I discovered, half a can of beer;


He make four angels to surround His Throne — Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and Raphael. Michael is on its right, corresponding to the tribe of Reuben; Uriel on its left, corresponding to the tribe of Dan, which was located in the north; Gabriel in front, corresponding to the tribe of Judah as well as Moses and Aaron who were in the east; and Raphael in the rare, corresponding to the tribe of Epharim which was in the west.http://www.jhom.com/topics/angels/talmud_fourangels.htm"[1]

"Raphael is in the 'rare', because he has been dead for, maybe, 3000 yrs..."

An Angel word: "Esick!" means "You Shit!"

"Hinarim means Human..." I am impatient with Hinarim. Like Dad, just has to be around to hate...

I can't kill Raphael...

"Was I born? You were born..."

I know who Micheal is!!!

More to remember, football now...

HATE!!!!!!! Dog just barked, and NOW I HATE!!

Yeah...add it to my art-show, (Make Her Life)

I was praticing arabic, and then remembered the first, 'trip'...heiroglyphs...it stopped and I began writing weak, waiting for some kind of rabbi to arrive in the hospital...nothing...no letters...no love...so I wrote love-letters to a man I hated...

good luck

the other art-idea for long-running project; doodles, abstract anything to appear doodles, and this: stupiddraft;

Entering ZAR…

ZAR is known to be
A type of world

It is what

8 +9/4

ZAR: is;

A special type of hatred, a ‘mecon’…
It arises in 2 WORLDS.
Zar is created, Zar is abstract…the world is sinking. Zar turns round, Zar was like fight, it swirls round, it is a red light, it is also particular yellow, it is actually a part of soul…

When ZAR swells, it makes two worlds, the worlds are shown here, abstractly in simple pens, biros are light loose, meager, nimble Felts are thick fat, firm, hard, heavy, high, pencils are lost use up, waste, yield


The world is forming, through the shapes, speaking, and turning, it is fighting, each mark, creates an organic form that flows through 8 portals, through the portals, the lines throw shapes, it is a growing mass of objects that storm through each other, speeding into the next form. This creates 2 worlds…

Zar: first organic strength; wise…secondly; hate…each hate is circle, strength is pictoral, wise is 6th…the wisest is form, the strength of the lines, and the depth of the marks, this; is mostly scary…

When ZAR forms, hate! Making marks is tough, lines are sick…

Abstraction; thoughts coalesce, I thought mountains, strength.

This comic is a story of Zars, Zees, Portals, and Alien Worlds…

These drawings are the picture of an Alien World. It is the part of the world that is just arriving, many odd shapes appear, it is the roar of a primal earth, it is the force of the opening portal, the door is monstrous, the forming of this alien world, shows items that oppose each fragment…the use of pens is simple…every abstract item is a part of the world’s existence…the forms are more powerful than they look…every little mark represents an chaotic object/event/experience in the alien world…it is an arrangement of molecular constructions…

'ketav!!' =  "GET OUT!!"