He was a giant...
I spent months, after calling Lord, in May: How I called:
I sat in the garden alone, I focused until I was clean, in the mind...probably also, bits of my body, an overall cleaniness...I threw in and up, what I call lights, I sent what I wanted to say in light, upwards, in a place somewhere in the air just above my forehead, keepingthe light safe, by only focusing on God, not telling anyone I was calling in the mean-time...I didnt say what I wanted to say,I think I've heard God before...I said:
"Hello, I am designing mosques, I am also beginning tajweed lessons..."
A woman's voice replied in the sky:
"You will build me a House of Love...."
I stood up, I walked back into the house...
"You will bring Tajweed, Light..."
You go off hungry...I was screaming and screaming inside, I "didnt want to listen..." I kept asking, "I didnt want to listen..." I wanted an addiction...another girl started calling, I thought it was the voice I heard...I wanted to give the voice bed...didnt want to listen...
That was in May, then I had Hell, the men got through the door...I thought I called her in the cafe, I called her in the library, men burning around me, a bit of the voice that burnt my infidel voice, burnt away a bit of skin on my face...I heard a voice say that men walking past in the street had defied, I was roping in all these people around me, in the heathen streets, when I just wanted to tell her I had to get out of men...I could hear a woman I knew speak to me: I said:
"Why the fuck am I hearing you?" I defied, that was the reply, I said she couldnt understand I was hearing another womans voice...going into eternal death...
I thought it would be funny to call people to Her, so I could kill them.
I began the beginner's course weeping, screaming and praying in class, while we were learning the arabic alphabet...I heard:
"You will be the headlice in your pen."
So I got slow in the classes, and over Ramadan studied, it was slow...I was screaming in class.
I left the beginner class, and started Language study.
The first teacher was cool...but I kept putting in his mind:
"Thas gooddd..." Even though I bad.