الأحد، 17 أكتوبر، 2010

Love

He was a giant...

I spent months, after calling Lord, in May: How I called:

I sat in the garden alone, I focused until I was clean, in the mind...probably also, bits of my body, an overall cleaniness...I threw in and up, what I call lights, I sent what I wanted to say in light, upwards, in a place somewhere in the air just above my forehead, keepingthe light safe, by only focusing on God, not telling anyone I was calling in the mean-time...I didnt say what I wanted to say,I think I've heard God before...I said:

"Hello, I am designing mosques, I am also beginning tajweed lessons..."

A woman's voice replied in the sky:

"You will build me a House of Love...."

I stood up, I walked back into the house...

"You will bring Tajweed, Light..."

 You go off hungry...I was screaming and screaming inside, I "didnt want to listen..." I kept asking, "I didnt want to listen..." I wanted an addiction...another girl started calling, I thought it was the voice I heard...I wanted to give the voice bed...didnt want to listen...

That was in May, then I had Hell, the men got through the door...I thought I called her in the cafe, I called her in the library, men burning around me, a bit of the voice that burnt my infidel voice, burnt away a bit of skin on my face...I heard a voice say that men walking past in the street had defied, I was roping in all these people around me, in the heathen streets, when I just wanted to tell her I had to get out of men...I could hear a woman I knew speak to me: I said:

"Why the fuck am I hearing you?" I defied, that was the reply, I said she couldnt understand I was hearing another womans voice...going into eternal death...

I thought it would be funny to call people to Her, so I could kill them.

I began the beginner's course weeping, screaming and praying in class, while we were learning the arabic alphabet...I heard:

"You will be the headlice in your pen."

So I got slow in the classes, and over Ramadan studied, it was slow...I was screaming in class.

I left the beginner class, and started Language study.

Hated.

 The first teacher was cool...but I kept putting in his mind:

"Thas gooddd..." Even though I bad.

rewrite

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