الأربعاء، 19 ديسمبر 2012


"Oh my God, Al Hamdu Lillah! You are the star in the sky, you are the joined stars, you are star who god, you are star."

"Oh my God, Al Hamdu Lillah! They call it bashert, absh bash you, you are divine lover, You are the star in the sky, you are the joined stars, you are star who god, you are star."

I must explain myself, I must make her see.

"Oh my God, Al Hamdu Lillah! You are that bit in the sky who is mine, you are mine, I cannot understand, our stars have joined, crossed stars, the stars that cross, You are the star in the sky, you are the joined stars, you are star who god, you are star."

 I must make her stay only Me.

"Bits like us, (I put my forefingers together.) we are stars, we are joined, He says, this, this is Zivug. I must explain basherts, we must be the stars that cross because we say basherts. That is, zivug is an old word for bitch, they are not aware for this, because they see him, when I see God I know I am you, I am not lying."

"Can you want this ? It is preordained, you must obey, I have wanted this, and it is you."

I am pushing my fingers together, because we crashed. We crashed into the Eternal, and there was two white stars crashing into each other, through a window, just where I place my hands, where I saw the image of the flying stars. I hadn;t seen this before.

I must try to explain.

 "We cannot understand, our stars have joined, crossed stars, the stars that cross, You are the star in the sky, you are the joined stars, you are star who god, you are star."

I say:

"Please be a basheert. I hit you, they bash her. We see stars."

It's all silent, but no one is running away, so I look further. And I see so much more, I would shake if I wasn't nearly dead, I would praise God if I could leave. I can read, words on her glowing white skin. Then I do what people call; regression.

I am trying to speak. But; we both hear, in that little window, just above us;

"Mummy?Mummy? Mummy?"

A little kids voice over and over. She wails and laughs.

"Mummy, mummy, mummy,. Mummy.

"Wait a minute I am speaking."

And the skin says; "you are my Mummy."

"OH MY GOD!!! You are my Mummy!! I was calling you when I was young. You must understand this, you must see. I am gay. And you are Mummy. My beloved. The one."

"Listen to your skin. It wasn't ready. But you are lover."

Nanny and The Borg

Nan and I are bored. I just need a cup of tea, after delivering cards, I stand at the No Cold Calling covered automatic door, sighing, because she has to get up and open her door and press the button.

"You know you can get a free wheelchair" while holding the car door open, on way to pub,  "why don't you do that, then?" They get through a bottle of rose, while I sit there angrily stunned.

The thing is I've gone red angry kill the Infidel fire, all big shooting flames picked for a merry christmas.

Because I decide to call India, in the pub, and it was going well, we discovered Krishna, and I discovered I'm called a Rajah.

I made them stop the car before the pub to get some smokes, which meant i had to walk into town a little, back in the old home town. I walk across street in darkness and ask a man for alight. I get a bad look, and hear, you're a monkey. I am stunned, I leave the lit cigarette on the windowsill of the shop and go in, a fat white lady, I am stunned because in London only Polaks and Muslims have jobs in shops, and there's  actually a Nepalese influx in this town. I want to tell her woes. She is quite polite.

I have christmas welfare spending money, I order a bottle of rose and a small shandy, and the obese blonde white lady who was a little nasty when I asked for a light....

Farts, farts all over the bar, while I stare at glass of beer.

I am stunned, the other kids, and the way the girl who didn't even see me came across evil, before that beer, I had been getting more and more worried.

Then angry, so I try to sing India, then hear inside my head woman screaming and worrying. Then a big old lady at the next table says aggressively;

"Where is my lighter?" Cos I didn't have my own and had to go out for about 5 cigarettes in a few hours. I want someone in this town to be nice,a man comes from the at tome sitting at bench; "well, I've come from London to see my parents, and am not used to this place." He talks, but I go inside quickly, I don't want friendly.

I say;

"I gave it back to your daughter (the fat evil and you are cow) at the bar." She spins back round to face her cronies.

This morning I get worried about Nan.

I need a cup of tea, badly and I am hugely tired, and I don't know why. The thing is I try a cup and its dirty full of tea marks inside.

"Right, Nanny is going blind. She is going to get sick."

The next cup at the washing sink is dirty, so I use it. It's rude to start washing cups when they are there to be dirty. I start reading all the fridge magnets she collected on her travels, like you can get coaches full of pensioners, but she has been to cool places. A cottage one is upside down, no matter how many times I change it swings back round to its wonky position. I read,; I love Claire, Ireland, Ephesus, Benidorm. etc. and go to read the ones on the freezer.

There is one of the Virgin Mary. I hear something like a scream or something, cos I call red fire.

I say don't worry, I like you, and pick up the kettle to pour on the teabag.

"Well, I have a surprise for you, People of Mary in Heaven, I have made an Immaculate too."

"Yes last night, a baby appeared when we kissed just kissed and talked, there was a blue glitter (I see colours appear from when I mix colours to paint.) His first word: was;


"And I was so shocked I died, because I had to "go and take my meds" it made me cry because I was worried. Are we dead?"

I go to sit on sofa, while the cat does something new and nibbles at the back of my head.

الأحد، 2 ديسمبر 2012

The Creation of the World.

The country Issuran, is NUMBER-ONE Time Traveller, the Time of a tent, the Time I asked about where all the languages began, and all the red people walked out. Issuran is what Nanny Sarah calls China, or what I called China, in magical old language, that just, sings from the mind-voice...

"Well, well...Nanny!! If Abraham doesn't want, lets bed!!!"

(What I mean is, new reader, is I can time-travel, I want to sing to a wise woman who is weeping, a wise woman who an help me, pray for me, call God for me, take care of me all my life)

Some silly little woman in black, was sitting at her boyfriends house, silent at the table. Just left him but in the same room, in her youthful soul, quiet at the table...What the old woman was doing I don't know, cuddling the damn boyfriend, perhaps, in front of the TV...

I am hysterically dead that me and Jesus, FIGHT.

"Don't flirt with me, and I don't care...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING???!!! You are going to fire..."

I really couldn't cope with what he was doing. So, I had to try and call God. I ended up in the cell, all coagulating my soul, until I turned dark blue, like pulling the soul further, rolling it around my body, feeling the softness of the blue, and then giggling!! ;

"Mummy God, help me, my soul is dying, they want to kill me, they want to throw my soul out of the window, the amaleks in the cars outside are taking my soul, they want to burn me...."

I kept patting slapping Nanny Sarah;

"Old lady, you are dead, you are dead, and he fled....Another little evil, evil Hagar...Where is he? Where has he gone??"

I slapped the wall;

"Nanny Ava!! Kiss me!!!"

Jus kind of a restless sleeping dead.

"Nanny Sarah,...when the bad people left, what did you think, are you a Noah? Was there a place where the goyim left you because they had to?"

All those millions leaving the tower of babel, to go walking all over the place to nowhere.

"To make Israel the white ball, like poo-snooker!!!! All those reds!!! All that little magnified light; (I hold my hands in a ball and stare down, at her little white old frame....giggles) in the centre, where all the reds in the whole world come to attack!!!"

I laugh, and have to move to the other side, flip over to the other part of the bed...that little woman has, eyes, biggest dark eyes, not the actual eyes, the eyebrows on top, thicker than any I've ever seen, little flickers like wings all over the black little eyes.

"I've never seen any eyes like that! Sarah!! That is amazing, she is amazing, take the eyes!!!!! No more people with never eyes...."

Grab her away from the table....

Grab her, then throw her upwards into the sky....and go quiet and call God for help again....all while you smelly sock feet are resting somewhere over Sarah's face, cos she is lying there giggling. SHe shows me her youth...

"Ohhhhh, not, another black......ohhhh, none of that, none of that..."

I want to back further...I mixed up the chronological bible stories, but I want to go back further, I want to see, when the languages began and why the languages were changing....why the reds got up and left.

Then, a giant hairy feet, in gold, slapped me in the face...that is a mans foot, why does he think he's great? .I roared; "Get offfff ME, you stupid man!!! That is NOT better than me!!"

Ignore him, that is stupid. we must sing, it is king. That man is a king.

I told Sarah why I had appeared, and changed sides again...I needed to pray, I sat up on the bed, and bowed forward, grabbing the steel frame, There I have prayed like a muslim!!

"Nanny, you are so old, you are him. We are old, Old is king...

I heard the oldest, oldest old lady;

"MUMMY YAHWEH!!!!!!!!! This isn't nice, I've gone back to the Ancients, and this Time you decide to reply!!! I am dead! Dead from the beginning of my own life, killed at birth!!!"


His, voice, is like a crackly old lady, and I throw myself onto Sarah...Chinese, I looked like a chinese baby, I had mono-brows, black eyes, you know what meant, what, meant, what meant, I had straight white hair, like a Chinese....

The black and white in my body crackles , and then I know...I fly fingers like a shadow over the parts of Sarah I see....I say;

"Thou shalt wear a velvet cord of gold around thy soul..."

This is your, soul, round here, this is your womb, the womb is the soul...SLAP BACK!!! A square of blue silk on your chest!!" A conception immaculate or not...

Oh, what, that is enough...Go away lady, go away....

The doors open to men...pink skin!!! pink breasts! Those, those, those are him, men near the bed,"LEAVE ME!!!!!!!!!

 I grab her hips, look at her above and wow, and say no,  and throw her away, up into the sky and away into portals, not ready, can't do that, back to the boyfriend and the TV....Cos, these bastards keep listening to me talk...Jesus, you Flid, you have sinned...

"I go to sleep..."

I fall asleep minutes later without remembering how.