السبت، 17 يوليو 2010


When we are all dead, and mum and dad call me, wondering where I am;

"I will be higher than Lover...and I will feel every soul in death...and I will make great souls...these souls will rise for God, and they will set apart the men...they will be beautiful...I will live in white...Abraham will be my Queen...I will sleep for Nigh Time...when I hear them I will become High...I will let them know I am High...I will enter a door higher than dove...I will bring four women with me, they will be like manna unto God, like succor unto wealth, honey and milk of my Bride...I will keep Heavenly God, I will be meek...I will fly a dove to God...I will sleep 49 days, and then arise unto God...I will see women like dove...I will forever Love..."

The Infidel hath No Time, they burn the Bride, I will fly Time, every death soul shall sink...they will become like as to waste, they will perish...when I call Him, they burn...their death needs haste...lay them to waste...become as to God, and lay the Infidel to waste...their time hath come...I count the men to naught...I hath brought God, they will perish...become Truth...they knock on the door, I won't...Yay, have the Infidel killed!!

When I looked upon this Ark, I saw it was unclean...I was dead...it was grey, the colour of dark hell, I looked at it and said; Love/Clean...I felt fine!!! So much happier, fuller...it doesn't last long...the Angels had moved, they were both facing me...men tried to look, men defied, they went blind...I can expect two kisses before sunday...ON monday I can expect Love...on tuesday, a fluerp...wednesday will be mixed blood...a whole night of snogs...

"The Ark hath power...Gabriel sails on Love...her power is slightly brought upon men...she needs FRUM...the Ark hath cried her Love...it will happen and we will die...these girls want to marry God, treble god...Paradise will be shown...hell hath moan...Let Gabriel go...the Ark has cried a seed of love...this will be love...she gets one kiss...the men yay went blind, they were power overcome...they hit paradise...I have them died...Gabriel looks and Gods...she will have the wine...she will expect gods...women must welcome her...men must still be god...we thank her...the infidels have burned...


الجمعة، 16 يوليو 2010

Train Announcements

"Zere is a presence ere. Tis a Sun T'ing..."

Train Announcements

"Ze train will be stopping at this li'ane, zats becus o'dis fire t'ing..."

(female voice)


"Please Help....Lars has SOUL...he needs work, he will touch Light...I want Light...See Her...my name is Michal..."

The naughty dog, sits outside the empty Synagogue, now, for two days a week, you can bet I called everyone; that; I'm in Hell...

The naughty dog sits outside the extra building for 'women only' prayers, in the doorway, smoking a cigarette, with a scarf hastily wrapped round the head...the men here are "very conservative."

"I am too, I'm sick of see-ing men..."

Another girl in my class smokes too...she's married and Asian, everyone in my class here to learn Arabic are Asian...

"Where was I born? I'm a white girl!"

Continually crying to God, and then, not even listening to the white cloud in my eyes, is making me slow and stupid, I spend 45 minutes praying, when I should know vowels, and how to join letters and not mix them up...I just laugh far too loudly, I throw my laugh over the fence seperating us, I wince and sigh and worry when the Adhan starts, and the teacher bends to pray, I make him say, "tha's Good." when I read out the letters, it makes me sick, I hate the use of power that makes people speak, at the lowest level, which means, my english, if I think in English, I'm pretty well-developed in Punjabi, yet I guess the flow of the words I speak, is nonsense; like I've just invented the language...it's hard to stay in silence...

...I jump in peoples beds for Help... I cry

"I'm the guy in the crown, I'm crowned Cohen..." I have a hat, alot like this,

but sometimes it's deep purple (sorrow) sometimes dark green (true love), much like, the first time I saw myself in that hat, I was lying across the floor, and being given a magical hat, rubbing the skin of my face all-over the ground, cut on stones and dirt (mourn Israel).

Then I Hell-Fire, talk, I repeat what Satan did. I have failed everyone, and mostly created nervous breakdowns...

Then I get confused, very confused...

"Are these women real? Who was that man? Who made that happen, I mean a man who thought he was a king and that I was a new wife...and that I swore to kill him, because of everything, and I cursed and cursed him...and that knocked me down...and then I see it was'nt even real..."

Then I don't want to be King, because I have a huge deep black face, for King.

I sat in corner of the station by the pub, in a pool of piss. "Oh well, that's ok."

Then I thought I could kiss this wife, on the train.

Then, I got home, I went to the couple in bed for help...my neck ached because my head was being thrown forward, and my arm went funny, because, I was ;

"Going through a change, they are forcing me to turn into a man, I not your Jesus!! STOP CALLING! I'm a girl...I hate your Jesus..."

Then I was screaming and growling and cursing, and having a fit on the floor. I couldnt get away from the couple, and when I saw him kiss his wife's shoulder, I went nuts, rolling on the floor, and those wings, becoming like a little tree-bush, that kept screaming and fluttering all round my face...And I screamed and cursed them, and vowed to curse them everywhere...then I calmed nad sat on my chair, cross-legged, wearing a crown of thorns, the spikes in my forehead, and I heard voices, and voices that were killing. And I stayed there, for a very small amount of time.

Everyone wept.

الأحد، 11 يوليو 2010


 I've been through Hell....men of Hell....

I sat in the garden, in the dark, chain-smoking, and praying, asking for people in Heaven, to help, to send a message to God, the one I call Shekinah (the female divine presence).

When I went to my room, I made pillows and a blanket, for the floor...then I had a vision...

I saw a woman in gold, with three pairs of wings, I heard a moan, and she fell off the throne...it's because I was in Hell...

I said; "What is your name?"

She said; "The Angel, Shekinah..."

Aneshka was the one staring at me, from under the pillows, "...the Angel of a Star, in the Sky..."

I flew deepest black wings, they fluttered and roared, and opened, she hit me with a golden white light, and I tripped on my hands, it was forcing a kind of electric into me, my soul changes to a boy-angel, thick bright white hair, with a touch of light neon blue, and black long-sleeved shirt, and black trousers, and huge thick black mono-brow...I forget what I was doing in speak, I was,

crawling on my knees and hands on the floor, growling...boy-angels have voices like little dogs, gruff, and a little angry bark...

I was barking in anger, and

she sent me clouds of golden white light, with hints of lemon, hitting a storm of light into my body, hitting me in my back, and making me twist and turn and roar, and moan, and shaking, as I was still on my hands and knees, looking at the floor, crying:


Every-time I got hit by light, I shook, being zapped by a bit of light, in places, like my back and shoulders, and because I was fighting the light with deep black hatred,  I shook, and I growled, and I complained and barked and shouted, and ,mostly, in Lars, I just laughed...she laughed too...

then I had to sleep, keep her safe, and sleep...Aneshka turned deep dark green. Her wings opened and snapped.

الجمعة، 9 يوليو 2010

Understand Angels

we sparkle

what do those green lights in your eyes say? I start crying again.

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school, i saw her in the corridor, small with jet black hair...i was in an older year...I told her; "I want you."

the best day; the star-da

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I sit here crying..blood tears, hiding from the family. She loves the boy who knows the 'gang from satan'...


i saw her safe, i saw sin, i be face, sink towards another eye, see a little, perfect like you, i was killing in myself, it meant i wanted hate, i saw her!! she said, i love you like the stars

this will take much thinking

1st bed : "oh, isnt there something more?" they listen, they watch too...i love heaven, i love heaven, explain in science, understand the Angel, listen, then to the angel, write her
One Day was the best day of Life. We shared the same day.

It was my first week of Arab school, I started on the day of Mohammed's Ascending to Heaevn, Day, and me and Anashka, we share the birthday. On the second day, I saw a sign, whose words changed to Jihad, the Jihad was disgusting, it has ended, it began in Liverpool St. Station, and it ended, I sat on the entrance steps until it ended, I did worse, I cried everyone to fall again, today I've been sensible, I asked for them to pray...Michal flew in, in purple-dresses to rest on my chest...blue bubblegum ice-creams...nearly shaking...

I gave one five pound note, to a homeless woman crying, I flew 2 pounds and silver coins into a man's hand...then the small jihad...sick, I said Satan...

Bleeding Eyes

She shrieked about money, I got upset, and a little angry...I turned and looked at her,

her eyes began, bleeding, dripping tears and tears of blood...

"I got so angry, I killed you..."

Mum's eyes did the same...

"Every one has died, I have brought Satan...the eyes, the eyes cry, murder...every murder, I kill...I said, I love you to God. and Mummy sees Satan...I've killed."

Pain. The pain was a face full of blood, hands twisted together, and eyes seeping blood...that wasa, Show Love. I said, hands twisted together, grabbing my face:

"This is Love! This is Love! Take the Pain, take the pain!"

"...there is a place in the heart that dies, its the place that screams...why dont we make something Heaven??"


‎"I can find the place where you scream..."


الاثنين، 5 يوليو 2010

Lars Shalom

Lars Shalom fought the angels...Time for Anoushka is mine, She must have long chestnut hair. If she is Russian, what an accent!

...you fought them for Law. They were lighting Law like Haven, but they wanted Free. They wondered the line, "make her free." She is a special present. The tears are back...I spent cuddling, crying, hearing a gang from Satan, and crying, having Hell visions, waiting for no one, to get them out of my mind...Crying beside, crying in the garden.

I hit bad, and we turned...I was why first, my eyes turned dark brown, then her lover was why, and why is the colour of jewish eyes, soul eyes...then I hit, and she was why...

theres two new colours now, and raspberry's been hanging around...I didnt study the colours, raspberry, and a light, white green...I saw them kill her.

I couldn't see her face, I held her and told jewish..."I should just touch your hand. I've taken everything. This is a jewish story...if I put my hand on your leg, we've used everything up, the romance, I have to go backwards. It's not nice to hold you there." The pillow was in my arms, I brushed her neck with my lips...something became so fast, the premonition was idiotic, I was on a garden chair, rolling my head around. They killed her in my arms, they sent a sword through her neck, and made vampiric voices...I couldn't want to mourn again, so I asked Mum to check her room...I couldn't be well, to just lye there, look I went into the garden and lit up...I came back. I hate the silly, and I kept crying 'thick, thick...'

"There's something mad in you, it makes me nuts." It's silly squealing. It's lying that you're gay.

"There are no woman left, gay women do not exist, I am alone, and I want marriage, no one is a lesbian..."

"Oh, she's pretty!"

I can't stand that talk, I walk around quietly screaming. Then to remember, 'this red talk, get me out of red.' I have to remember her past. I have to remember when I liked sweet...she keeps saying somethings red.

"It's you, this stupid acting, this red in you, you mean, I mean, you know this... it's just, this; "it's all hot." I am hating girls."

My girl has been swiftly beheaded, and no-one will help. "I think you should all just fall to hell...i'll do it...I'll fall you."

This colour that got in her souls, it was the sickness. It's a light glassy blue, that says 'damned now' it's like old women's eyes, almost dead. Then I've made her feel dark brown ("Father Father, we have death, we have death, every man is hate...") But she is also dark-green, could that be a lie, I start crying quietly again...dark green = true love.

Thats odd isnt it?? IS that the lie?

"If she already knows me, or waits for me, she is already praying for me? I wonder what she likes to draw? Do I pray to keep her well? My prayers are a curse..."

They say my praying is "Pagan!" click fingers shout die, lye there and think numb. It takes one person to pray someone.

I decided to have one day with her then leave. I wanted to remember a time, when she was a small lover. We were bright, and clean. We were lighter...sweeter...careful...good...clever...she was tiny.

Then something tells me her lover is she-witch. Nope. She's upset and sweet. She just looks man-like. short hair, a face that looks?? she's getting bigger and bigger!! I got a watch in silver, hanging from a chain...It's disgraceful, it's nuts!!! It's that nutty path she takes in her life, to what?? fight?? die??? A dark-haired girl with a woman-man.

Keep me away from Anoushka, I'm too frightening, wait until we meet. Sure everything will give me sweet-stuff.

They showed me sick, bed...I dont know how. I thought she was dead. I thought, I'll clasp her neck in my hands, where the blood is...the walls covered in spurts of blood. It's dishonourable to lye in bed, with no head, the body must still be in movement.

Then I told her, my tears, why I was crying...and dark brown. I made her unwell.

I was nearly sleeping...so, well...some creep was crying;

"Tell me the future of Man!"

"I hate man-kind..."

I see a white static image of her on the edge of the bed...

"I see my girl...future...thank you..."

The relationship has lasted a whole day, and I'm off to sleep...

"Wife wife, Heaven, marriage..."

She is in black, sleeping a mile away from me on the other side of the bed, she says wife...she said that when I was making coffee in the kitchen, my head hit the sideboard...I don't believe in marriage;

"It cant be wife...I'm too deadddddddddDD!!!!!!!! FOR HIM!!!!!!! Tell me Wife!!"

I waited on the sofa, half way through the relationship, yesterday...thats when I remember..then there's the boy she was with...then there's redemption...I say to the ceiling-angels;

"Keep Aneshka, well, we need light...oh my, you are Angel, too...Anoushka the University...it's gone, I don't know..."

All day Satan men are crowding me, so I just silently sleep...I remember the bad job, the sick men in the care-home, how she has to see bad illnesses, wake up early to get to work...where she is from me, three streets away...

"NO future...then...no..."


Anoushka was the one I predicted, the one I would have for Love, only...the only one left, she was the one I would meet in the future...

perhaps I enter University, and meet the Russian Girl, there. And share a bed...

(also, this song is driving me nuts; strangeness and charm, by Florence...I don't change music often...I like repetition, because I'm dead...constantly, that awful, "Feeling all me Love..." over and over...why that? It's sad, it's like a little Jamaican nutty t'ing...?...it's so shit, and I love it...it's about "atoms" ...?...well I love science, thanks.)

When I wake up I know. I mean I sleep, but when I remember Angels, I'm home, I know angel-friends by name, I say hello to them, by name, and it surprises me, then it goes and I'm back to being Dov...not Lars, maybe Lars, Lars is an alien, a 'freedom fighter for shul,'

Anoushka, the Russian girl; is the one who, is the one, who Wife...I mean shows Love, I don't want to write it's TRUE...it's just she is my future, and she is the one, that...

that knows...

Here's where I found her...I dump many for knows;

For my name is Shalom, for Peace. Hello.

She got an A Star. Don't be Late.



I'll explain later.