الأحد، 24 فبراير 2013

Mad Jew

The day we found out my dad was a "mad jew" was when we caught him worshipping at the Throne of the Pharaoh.

Specifically, saying 'voodoo-wadooo' things at an evil tomb-grave, on a vacation, into Eygpt.

He was surrounded by Coptic kids, who said;

"Mad Jew!! This way!!"

Dad has a rat-like voice.

He quoted;

"La Ilaha....garaahhha grahhhhgrh, ilhaha la " like a Cockney-rat.

Mannnn, I just couldn't accept this shahadah, I just couldn't, I groaned when he said it as we got stuff out of the car. No way, man....

I didn't know Dad was Jewish. He scared the Coptic kids, cos they are not muslim.

"We don't sing, Shahadah, but you are Jew!"
"Jew will sing us!"

"Love is holy!"

I deliberated buying a bowl of bananas from an arabic boy, I started to walk away from his stall;

Dad's voice appeared;

"Buy his bloody bananas!!"

No way, no way man, they gave my dad fly....
wander through high-street, and wanted to give my heart out to a girl, in a bear hat, which is, a woolly hat with bear's ears. Muttering...

Don't give your love to that one;

"Not that one, That one, ain't a bloody King!!!"


I forgot to pay for a train fare, I hipped it, I told Baby Muhammed (Wa Salla Alahi Wa Salaam), what I did was walk through where the Man was checking tickets and flashed a wallet, which was even a pass....I must of described the ID card, as the Kid, drew a yellow shiny, mega shiny rectangle, with a dark yellow flower...which is of  course my special train pass!!!


Time travel....

السبت، 23 فبراير 2013


I wandered throughout the whole museum, went looking for prints...got lost in germanic iron works, bits of gates and fences all over the walls, turned a corner into a smaller room. Two girl's were trying on a whalebone stuck out under a dress thing, in front of mirror.

I wanted to find a seat, cos it's difficult to draw things with nowhere to sit..."And those damn chairs are heavy and they don't soul, I won't win, I will fail everything."

I sat on chair, in front of a glass case of bits of wood with flower designs on, boring....got a pencil and drew flowers, quite happy in a little quiet place, when someone appeared beside me, my head down, shading,

And said;

"Ahhhhhhhhh...."....like very heavy heavy smelly breathing. yellow ochre breathing. It carried a virus, it was husky, low and man-like but also mentally insane, like evil, absolute sleazy evil...

I remembered the breathing. That bloke, unclean bloke, who didn't handle, sexual appropriate, touched my stuff with disgusting fingers!!!

I pointed my pencil, and though and was about to say;

"You fucking pig...I go for peace.....and...." It got me angry like red fire,

I looked up;

It was a beautiful chinese girl...I got stopped like a gobstopper.

"You! know what happened! I thought I was fucking dead!!" (angry)

She stared at wood panels, while I gasped and stared at her, then she did something very funny, she took a quick wonky picture and said in a silly sharp voice;

"That is nice!!"

Took, picture with flash , walked away with another girl.
(in chinese, got we read chinese, we have Buddhist chinese minds, the first ESP's, the holy thoughts....are....chinese. She said; "And that is you!!! That is where you depress me!!! You talk stupid, (I look bad) you are a pig!!"

She made me laugh, she made me more hysterical, than I have been for a long-time.

I was so overwhelmed, I followed her with chinese powers round the museum. I decided I was rubbish and that I had to disappear. She decided;

"It's not bad to like me...". (she has a heavy english voice, it's funny because it's low and doggie like, it reminds you of home, all the little low doggie english voices.)

Sooooooo...I called her but it's depressing, because she eyes like BUDDHA, and she knows every dead.

She said; "'Bao yu, Lars Dead'...I want you to come back."

الخميس، 21 فبراير 2013

The Real Cohen.

Jesus made his men sing, they sang long and sorrowfully. They sang while I sat in my old stringy pants,  and my pentagram eyes, and then in minutes someone put me in a steeple hat, square and round at the top. in purple paisley, and thats when Jesus' voice sang shriller. I banged on the heaven door again and again I burned women and made them cry. I made weep and hell for years.

I quipped;

I said to Earth;

"And I'm f***** Salome...."

I said ;

I needed to call 'people' for help when I couldn't call God anymore. I was hiding from talking to Him/Her, and hoping that people would do it for me.

I said:

"Put it in YOUR ARSE, Bring the Hell to You. I will bring Hell to Jesus until he Helps."

I made magical 'pids'  I flew down to hell by accident, I told Jesus the accident, yellow ochre flew upwards from down There, I cried because well, there are kids in Heaven, and what if I accidently hurt or kill everyone?

I said; Put that dick in you, I said fight it or get attacked by Hell.

I was sick of explaining.
I couldn't put words together, now I can put words together i still make it difficult, Im quite sure I can't now. I'm supposed to be bad...

I tried to make him see, through a black and yellow mirror, I tried to make everyone see. It showed men in their bed rooms.

The yellow ochre man with the tentacles and the obese body, going after my girl in hijab. Learning how to give women sex from me, then, I learn he hurts people in public with his thoughts, and it tried to turn me, and even though everything was quiet and white, it was getting


Just not by


It thought through, and I shook and choke and left the room, all the while calling Mummy God or Father or Creation Soul, and got blessed with amnesia. So I'm brighter because of that.

And he went to Competition, because he was finding the beautiful girl in hijab.

"It's good that I'm ugly, cos It's not bothering me."

So I got the pentagram eyes, and dealt eye for an eye. But it only worked through soul worlds, so it slept in Hell, and got a lucky life during the day.

It wanted. Filth.

I got weaker when power came through. I couldn't Hit It. It did something where, it's face turned creamy white, and it opened it's mouth and try to suck on somewhere, so I flew in the monster, and it ate into him. But, he did'nt die. Ha, moon keyboard, sighs.


The Hat sang;

"The first Kohen in my Light to cry Hell.""

Difficult, difficult I don't want to hear Her...

"Your Holy King is Woe."

I believe God painted that Hat.

""NO  Lars, No"" that sound was like deep Bass.

Maybe a girl painted that hat.

الأربعاء، 20 فبراير 2013



Every floor. That you burnt is Life. You wait. And I Life.
There is a Red Injun here.
Her name was Pat. She is a modern American Woman.
She killed herself, I got to her in the last minutes of her life.

I said: "You make me feel like a Meditation. Every feel from you is a mediation. I can't describe the tranquility. This is a real soul. I've found it in you."

She said: "You look at my corpse, and you die. It is forbidden to look at a dead body. "
She said she killed herself with a shot-gun.

I didn't know.

I'm an actual blind person. I thought lead me, and I will go.
Sometimes I get a look. It's all talk. It's save me, save me....

So. yesterday I was the blood of a red Injun. And I went out for that smoking stuff, and made the obvious I'm peter pan stuff. And walked into a Squaw at the door, stepped over someone's dark green moccasins. And sent them all to Grandmother, sitting on the sofa in front of the TV. Lots of tribes-men were there. I'm "Little Big Head..." She lifted her hands and grabbed their faces and kissed them...

I was a red injun, because it's soul...

So many were brought back to England to meet the Tudor throne. So many more than just one guy prized around the court.... I trod around Pocahontas grave across the river. It was the sweetest thing. Get a little boat, and walk round her statue.

When I was a kid, Nan dragged and old fancy dress Injun kids' squaw dress, and I wore it every time I went out to play in the street, when I was kicking boys, running to the ice-cream man to get a "skateboard lolly" (ice-cream added to a cheap bar of cherry ice with four bubble gums stuck on top, and sometimes sprinklings for "the princess...."

I wanted to write semi-automatic something....and why...

they just go.

Why, I'm here saying come back, when they go, and when they're here, I'm not well.

Of course, yesterday I was speaking Fluent Injun.

I just don't know what tribe I'm from, the snow here got me seeing/guessing North-west Pacific, the "voice" saying "North of Virginia..."

All Right, Injun's are just sssssssssooooooo more soulful and relaxed...."

...and I don't know why when Pat came back, I got lost in loud snores...

"And I smoke, I smoke...."


True Life Story of my Ancestor Aber, in Moorish Medieval Spain

The man ran at him, while he swept the street with a broom.

"Bastardo!" he shouted, " Get here! I want you!"

He looked up, the man wanted to fight, he ran at Aber, and cut, he pulled hte shirt off him, he pounded his chest, screaming;

"BLACK MAN!! BLACK MANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! The Negro wants to hit me!!"

He ran like a cat, quick as lightening, he ran into an apartment, and shocked a woman, the woman was Spanish Moors, he tumbled through the building and dived, he crashed into the floor. He whipped his head round, two women were on the floor, they sang: "OUT OUT!!"...he quickly leaped, through the balcony window,  he landed on a apartment roof. He was crying, he slipped into the street, no-one appeared.

He ran through a wide alley, a girl came running through, he grabbed her, and cried; "I'm dying!" She gasped:

"You are. a good. man.. I help you...." She led him to a door, he flew around, hearing a pounding noise, he jumped, he fought the door, he ran back to the alley...she screamed, "You will die!!!!!!!!" He stumbled, he whispered; "You are good girl. I will die..." She touched his arm, and held him, as he collapsed on the floor..;

He said: "Go to hide..."

He fell back on the floor weeping..."Good. girl..."

He gasped as she held him....

footnote; i hope this is okay for them and isn't misunderstood, these are tales of my ancestors, which I'm discovering and putting down in this blog,  i'm writing them through someone else's memories, it's not fictional, it just seems the story has been written countless times, this is the 12 th Century story of Grandad in Spain...

Grandad Aber

It's beginning with lots of motown classics, on the mind. So, I play them. Delete with respect.

I don't know, I don't know. So, I research family-trees. I've got further than, some priest in Canada, and cousin up north. Spin! :

So, a sneaking suspicion, came to mind, there, may have been a jewish boy, in Medieval Spain, but there was also, a black boy.

Because when Nanny Charlotte, appeared in my cupboard in the cage dormitory, 2007, she had freckles and tight black curls. And another vision, of a woman with an African face, but with yellowed skin, and long neck...Egypt?


Grandad Aber.

This feels like evil doings to write all this strange history, in my Mum's kitchen. Like it would kill her.

Let's publish this out in bits. Sorry, folks.


long dark kisses.

I saw a lover in hell. The Kallah was Sin. Brutal bed.  Is it true?


It's getting Fire inside my head.

You took Abel...

The Arrival:

Atashe the Rat, and I appeared in 'Greg'...we go to meet a house on the sea, the house has wooden flooring up to railings looking over a wide dark blue water. I was in that house years ago, with dad, and the girl... I had only the clothes i slept in, and I slept on the girl's floor. This is another alien world. I dont knwo why Atashe had to come with me, because a small guy, with a yisthy yakkety squeaky voice and a furry body, and little peep pee nose, is going to get noticed. The 'flobbers' would come after us. The girl had grown up tall with a mass of shiny thick black hair. She was living around Shonie's house. We stayed with Dad.

I appeared with curled frizzy, not quite shoulder length black hair, and a boy's body.

"She said she's lesbian, and I'm a boy!! This is bitch!!!"

I chose to go there last night, I'm glad I remembered...I was going to wake up on the same space of floor. I needed that, so much.

Atashe got there because he 'wanted to be in soul'...

We planned to create sound and tele-visuals across the planet.

I see myself on my belly on a small bed, my glasses have huge eyeframes,, covered in pink plastic, and wiry frames. I'm stuck with the rat, because Hannah is back with Shonie.

The poor rat gets stuck!! He says he gets stuck with Dad, when I go to meet Hannah....!!

"It was matz...Shonie would plea: "

 "what did she say?"

" I just wanted to die, it was sooooooo spack..."


"Like, the flobbers were after me, and you'd say Grat..."Don't fucking fry me, there ain't a rat, and you're MID!!"

When she was out partying, we had to hide. We wrote 'Weather-Well." We broke through country, crying they were satan, and we got happy 'Efluewers.' We sat in the bedroom, eating bits of metal, and built a Company called 'Rose.' I like chewing metal like he does, here I chew aluminium foil scraps, for stress.

Flobbers fried. Of course I went War-Head, there was a murder in Gratz. They said, "Man down! Man down! Two kids, one a monster!"

Hannah was soul;

"It won't 'hippy' you. You have to go..."

We wanted to go. But the door was locked in Eshela, until Atashe fell ill. "They are starting to soul, and it's making me squeaky, Lars, I want dead...."

Some kicks were Christ, Like when she kissed. I was cool forever. But dad said:

"Lars, they're beginning to Lice. You must leave." Atashe and I felt Hell. We got food,a dn we got 'grumptious'...only Shonie was cooler than me. And she wanted. So, I got a bit fell;

"You know I; 'Girls."

I sank, "This was God telling me I'm a thing." Atashe Souled, He said:

"You know they Sheol, and I want bright, let's leave the Red." We couldn't get through the Doors. We chewed and we sang. It was a hotel. DAd was glad we were there. He sang many songs. The Company Rose, was a bright light, we kept singing they were bright. I wrote many stories. I tried to get through the hotel. They accepted two stories. One was the Fortune of Love. The second was a Bright Abel. About how the world went Funk. Fortune of Love, was the first story in which I died; "They will find out I love Hannah...."

Shonie was plates.

"It a THING that he's published a book!!"

The room was full of metal. I slumped off the bed, and said 'I'm tired'.

I went outside to sleep by the sea.



-big apple meeks, get, loud low jungle woman.-

 Big throaty, big divine love and devil dimensions, save her, save her save her.

You did it!! You must have. You've brittled her until invisible  points. forgotten conversations, enveloped emptiness, and a need to say, I gave him now....

It was supposed be the rope cut. That bit where you say. Go. GO and get a boyfriend, i let you go.

All the boyfriend have been gathered. Brittle pictures of your wife, losing her mind.

Not even much of a mind there!!? Sorry!

Is that all about the brain? Is that all brain?

Is that it?


Is that what you think is art?

Should I go the german way. Should I say, I love Anton I want Anton.

Should I stick with the music the intellectual music?

Wow, I can't believe I found out where she wandered.


Big, wise, hebrew voice. Big wise Goddess. Wise Boy in the Mad Mess.

Well, I'm on pencillin today.


And I think;

When I have bed, it's because you are hurting. Little mouse ears, little mouse nibbles, on mouse ears. OOHHHOOOHHOHHH!!! The blue women think of that.

So, i just thought.
Kickstart the Intellect.

Im better better.


The war, in my view, was supposed to be black and white, I fight two disgusting monsters, pray for perhaps the whole of this fair country, because it had invaded town...
We pray for black and white...

Heaven is beautiful, Hell is horrible.

But, J.R.R Tolkien, wrote that Mordor (Hell)...will seethe through, into our minds, create arguments, mad wishes, bad mistakes...(Children of Hurin)...holiest peoples were destroyed, from the inside...

It had to be black and white enough to let me go...

It's there...
it's always been muddy...

What could I overthrow?

I kept clean, there were moments, when the voices and the haters, could get through to me...I was resting in bed, weeping on sofas, anything It could catch me with, scenes on televisions, people passing me in the streets...I never used to look up, I watch the pavements as I walked, they were see-ing through my eyes...this went on for probably, two years...I went through getting a diploma, in a fight against Satan...I had to play ping-pong, at a gallery show, when the Arab girl that bought my painting...(painted on wood in 30 minutes, yellow back ground, had painted orange swirls, spray painted bits of red, a black image of a man with a moustache and a twirly beard, blowing smoke made from my hand swirls...I wanted 45 for it and told her, I was happy, I wasn't thinking, she ended paying me 20 pounds etc. because I couldn't think about being good enough to give her my first price...then I saw it behind her, shook my head, my mouth falling open....the thing was trying to get to her bottom...) even when I got to Tajweed and fell in Love with that, it could get me, on a train, it could bring such a darkness inside a crowd of people boarding a train...So, I went a little wrong, a little sinful, I wanted to dream about sex in class, ...then I cried each time, in front of the Hafez, I failed the exams twice, I couldn't even read, in the exam, 0 % Tajwid, A half-mark 50 % for theory....

I knew it was men, in magic... I knew the men's names...

I couldn't talk to my kids in Heaven, because I wasn't well...I tried to call people to pray, and then I got into fights with the people to pray....each and every evening on the train I would talk and joke and cruel...also on free days, at the house...slamming doors, walking round and round the garden....