The day we found out my dad was a "mad jew" was when we caught him worshipping at the Throne of the Pharaoh.
Specifically, saying 'voodoo-wadooo' things at an evil tomb-grave, on a vacation, into Eygpt.
He was surrounded by Coptic kids, who said;
"Mad Jew!! This way!!"
Dad has a rat-like voice.
"La Ilaha....garaahhha grahhhhgrh, ilhaha la " like a Cockney-rat.
Mannnn, I just couldn't accept this shahadah, I just couldn't, I groaned when he said it as we got stuff out of the car. No way, man....
I didn't know Dad was Jewish. He scared the Coptic kids, cos they are not muslim.
"We don't sing, Shahadah, but you are Jew!"
"Jew will sing us!"
"Love is holy!"
I deliberated buying a bowl of bananas from an arabic boy, I started to walk away from his stall;
Dad's voice appeared;
"Buy his bloody bananas!!"
No way, no way man, they gave my dad fly....
wander through high-street, and wanted to give my heart out to a girl, in a bear hat, which is, a woolly hat with bear's ears. Muttering...
Don't give your love to that one;
"Not that one, That one, ain't a bloody King!!!"
I forgot to pay for a train fare, I hipped it, I told Baby Muhammed (Wa Salla Alahi Wa Salaam), what I did was walk through where the Man was checking tickets and flashed a wallet, which was even a pass....I must of described the ID card, as the Kid, drew a yellow shiny, mega shiny rectangle, with a dark yellow flower...which is of course my special train pass!!!