Imagine walking around, a college cafe, feeling and see-ing a sick about to cut at you, cut downstairs.
Leave me, Fight,
If no fight; Fall Down, Help me, Where are they?
Come back;
'Where is Mummy? She left crying we're hoaxed!!"
Remember getting Hanumari's messages this morning;
"Mummy, have a good day, today." She shoots off to a guy, you buy her two scratch-cards, one for the guy, wrong ones, we need a National Lottery...(a lucky dip)lucky dip is dirty bonks.
You win six pounds.
You take the four pounds, and buy him, the smallest waist, longest legs, you can find, because he's wearing his tiny mum's jeans, up to his knees, fine, you say butt...they look too modern-cut, they're trendy twist-cut shiny dyed...
You spit out semen, because a jewish girl says,
'she needs clean semen!'
So what, then, because you're sitting on the kitchen table top, and the kids on the copmuter, you see it hapen to her, and every other Heaven girl...
you thunder round the house, because you need the computer, being cool, getting a little aggitated, so you play Slayer, to find a mood for drawing, that you're stuck on and have a week left to finish, because you have found a new story, where;
you DID sleep in Hell,
And the bearded guy, (who now has to look more like a Nazi-cut, with a square head, because depicting a Jesus guy, having his balls sliced with a razor, being filled with tubes of semen-, will still be Christ-like, but, somehow; Why do I say Nazi? Because it's too Holy, to depict a bearded man, in that Hell, choose my man's face from Rehab, a squareheaded muscly man)...it's surer...;)
You dance to Slayer, alone with the dog, in the living room, you dance in front of the Gothic girl form Liverpool, you bother JG, sitting with her grandson, you and the kid, keep pickign up the phone to a cut line, quiet line.
You, pick up the phone and say;
?
What? in a deep voice...
You freak about the vision you had of guns and Mum and the kid screaming, you sight;
You see, a black car, that kind of devil black, a nice expensive car.
You were jumping around in the living room, leap backwards on the chair, with legs apart and shoot a gun from between;
'the whore in the skies' legs.
And take on the 'pid' for a fight, because he's playing like Clapton. You remember the last time, in the HOUSE, when second hand jaguars, flew around and around full of dirty old men, playing sixties rock hits;
'Shit He's killed Zepplin!!'
You call a fight, you think this;
'Where is Allah?' You try to call, you send Jewish Girls, you hear screaming, you try to think and see clearly;
Mummy Allah is angry, Lahkshmi kept you fine.' You say, interupting the call, ignoring;
'You know, Hindu Goddesses??? Lakhsmhi, is God of Beauty.'
Last weekend, you drew an arm, the line flew to the bottom of the page, afterwards you put out an alarm, that, you drew fall to Hell. You knew it worked,
on the babies;
That you cry you cant go near, becasue of Hell.
You fall to Hell. You saw other visions, a long-time ago.
Babies with bad men. (cool)
You tell them, whiel sitting in bed. You keep asking to see Allah's face, because Lillith was big-nosed and dark, like a
;perfect woman;
but her skin formed gray.
You cant think of this woman.
Close a little to Diana, a little like a jewish/greek surrealist painter.
You see your own, very masculine face.
You've grown stubble.
You say they are sucking dicks.
Are the babies dead? Where are the babies??
You say every man is dead. You will fall hebrew men. You rang the Temple a week ago, there is something terrible inside, when God replies;
You are Higher King.
Jewish Warrior.
They come back, when you're picking your lice, to tell you the camp.
They leave, when you are lying in bed, feeling pin-pricks from needles, softly in your arms.
What do they say?
They say;
No.
Without Soul,
but when you hear Jewish women's soul, you only fall into a sweet sleep, without hearing a word.
You see those masculine eyes, the same kind of eyebrows a squarer face, and you see his hate, in a dark blue light;
Neon Eyes.
(look)
'Why does he say Neon? He is a fascist...'
I call her;
Maggot.
I found a comic, with the greatest illustration, the cover, I opened it, worse, a sci-fi story about a kid with a Manson doll, and a prosititute mum. working; in front of the kid. 25p
I threw it in the bin, immmediately.
They used to say I was insane, when I went back to my childhood books, to read out loud to the babies.
Now,it's leave, leave.
I called Allah maggot, because I remember a Jewish Granny, (Now they say 'Stay') in her white nightdress, and littel bonnet.
I can't see her.
I can feel her, and other girls do too. I sent girls to her, I heard screaming.
She was very anger.
I don't want a man, I want feminine.
They want a man.
They said; 'Hell, they are in Hell.'
The men who need to die, are pervert.
Yes, I felt the 'granny-maggot' get hot, I turned into a horse, I neighed, I stamped my feet, kicking.
She hates you.
She scares girls in Hate. I want to know what happened.
I went back to jokes, I had to sit alone in another room, in the dark, it jumped. The devil went through me, and I twitched and cackle,d it got me for real this time, I sat fenidng it off, the kids in the other room on the computer;
FIGHT, FIGHT, I try to show women through signs. Too slow, too weak.
I did myself, I played magic, I jumped a devil-light, the devil appeared. I floated down to Hell to catch them in my soul, and saw it, I was weak, but I was black, I looked down, sighed, and said I Hate You. It was giant, sheepheaded, full of maggots. I left. It was still, and Hell was empty. I killed it. I killed it many times.
When I call God, I leave, I just want assurence, and then 'leave'.
I dont want Highest King, it means work and cry, and I'm dead.
Sometimes I see, like, the cat. Most times it's weak. I'm a mad-bug, diving in and out of all kinds of pictures. The last vision, is a female Pharoahs face. 'Like Pharoahs!' That's the End of the World.
Once, I got 'mad-tongue'...it hit another girl who was lover, I walked outside, I kept shouting the word; 'Pakis'. She was hit too, I dont think they ever noticed.
To you, Allah has to be a man.
I said what the devil did.
hearing god;
Full of anger, so much, black and green lights are through my head, shaking me, hitting my veins. Where did the girls?
I thought they were screaming.
'Are they ready to meet God?' this is important...
'They were hit. HE fought. Said;
DEFY ME AND DIE.
They wailed. I said; go. "Leave quick we're Low." I like the British Olympics Advert, of a Greek God, playing chess with a woman, like world-games, and the woman smashing over the whole of the universe by throwing everything around. That was hip. I dont want man.
'Tell me what happened...'
'she said sheol.'
'slower.'
'That you were Heaven, and we're l (looking at you, like you're God), that every woman you have wanted no.
Nicole was cuddling me today.
What do they do?
They weak, they say; 'Are you light? I'm Him.'
(quote; I'm Jesus.)
It was hot anger, it went through my bones, I danced and joked again, I foolishly brought that quick leap of light, soul light is felt, it can make you warm or sick, I don't leave the inbetween.
She was thunder.
You say?, black light, Become Him, God black light, is
OK.
i soar in light and I'm jewish King, '...what a fright!...' I am sexual sin...i'm jewish king...SHE is flying HIM...
she wanted me to weep. I said thing. She makes me sin...because?...she weeps...
"I want higher.
It will sight all of us."
I cant meet people, because OF SICK!
MORE SICK...someone walks in the room, and I see
scik.
----
SO I'm drawing, sick, and christ...
I hear the Temple Call;
'Are you Jewish? My name is Mariam, I want Gods, you sing the Roman have died us, I'm here with family...(I wanted to know)...I see Heaven is skies, He says, Be a Warrior, to the skies...he says chic...'you are sexy,...why do you want me?...men will die, never want me...it's sick, he says, THUMP ME EAT ME...'
I had the thought of the death in the Temple, it could be because of the Romans, it could be worse, lost souls, I was dead the moment I left, I felt the death as I walked up the stairs, it knocked me, I faltered on the wobble steps, and felt myself die, I was underground, I was the closest you could get to the Holy Altar, 'the feminine aspect' I confessed everything, I died in fornt of the altar, I didn't pray for peace. I was in tears. I watched jewish girls rocking and I died. not because of sick, because they had pure love, I had sinned, and i was partly hate.
'jewish clean is HIP.'
Every man who sinned, and went to God, died, because I was thunder. The devil wins, if that. It was to kill devil. Just men. Mariam said;
"He is God! Beware Light! Those who have forsaken me, will die...!!" then; "Mummy DIE!"
"She says Wear a Bra! That means, Scottish death! The Romans, the ROMANS wear a bra!"
--- Back to my Call--- the light was neon blue, I call this God, herself, light, sometimes lies, because it's my rib light, alien light, making woman light, highest light, liar light, because I'm just me...soothing light,
'where is this light?' Is it the light of God?'
See Him, just my eyes, my eyes in a dotted strip of dark blue light, angry eyes.
PEACE, I said, I failed in praying for anything but peace.
I wanted inspiration, I said I could sow and reap, wiht inspiration, I kept a tenth back...I rotted in eveyr vision, I couldn't draw. Futuristic Bulls with Giant Horns 'too fascist style...'
My first painting was a huge pink and purple, image of flowers and doves, somehting a little rockier than the normal white dove, it was unfinished, it died, when I felt the Towerblock mood. i was high.
---
Temple:
you are fought. white. you see 70 men...
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