السبت، 13 أبريل، 2013

The Dumping Ground of the Universe

Emelbert, home of the rat-people...

There was an influx of english-men, demons like little women with red and black and yellow tentacles, and the terrible ruling Goyim...

I choose to give the patients in the hospital "Fly..." There were grades, levels, and colour codes. I learnt the colours before I was locked away.

There was the colour fluorescent blue for Emelbert...

One night, standing in my sister's room looking out over the garden while the whole house was asleep, I heard a crowd of voices. It was something to do with giving Finland, powerful light...(seriously)...they didn't want the light, and they threw it back violently, the gardens to the north-west, lit up neon blue, a huge mass, a wave of light began to lift over the fences, and shot like solid square towards the window, I ran out of the room, the bathroom door was just in front of me, I went into the bathroom, and the blue light screamed through the tiny window, I ducked, and ran out...

I was trapped on the small landing, and each of those doors glowed full of this light, It was sharp like a knife, I almost fell on the floor of the landing, with no where to hide....it looked dangerous, sharp as glass.

I learnt the colours when I walked through town, to the shopping centre, different colours were flying through the air, merging into passersby, into houses, even a bright blue light into an big, slobbering dog.

During the day of learning colours, when Satan had already appeared in the town, or rather, kept itself in my room, or when I went out for tobacco tried to shoot balls of flame from the sky...stuck a cat monster that purred to me, stuck somewhere on the bar of my borrowed bicycle...the Babylon Whore...("...the Devil's girlfriend...) A cartoon picture of Lars Shalom, meeting the devil's girlfriend on the top of some stairs...so I knew I had fallen into Hell...

and I called everyone in town to fight...I saw how people were wearing their chosen colours, a tall white man with a skinhead, in a stripy black and yellow ochre jumper...women and girls in pink, one in lilac, African men in dark blue, some in green....

How it got on radio, and made men say disgusting things...

The family had gone away to Spain, which was where I sent them, after some days, of the arrival of the 'Roman Emperor', I had already moved the kid out of her room, with a sleeping bag, as the Emperor was inside one of the walls, and I had to keep the rest of the family in a safe light...One day, they got too loud, slamming every door...a kind of toll outside in the road, the cars passing by...I said it was a Toll-Gate for those who would be saved or not...

I hated the 'cat' on the bicycle the most, because no matter what I did I couldn't get rid of, I rode all through one newly built town, through chalk quarry's and to my aunt's house, everything was dead, there were zombie witches cackling in her garden, though they were invisible, I couldn't shrug them off...I spent hours in her garden, smoking and smoking...then I ran a bath, the bathroom seemed the safest place, I couldn't tell her what I was see-ing, and the taps went on and off, and I spent most of the day doing that, sure that this time, instead of exposing my skin to burns, it might just keep Satan off me...I didn't get in the bath eventually, and went to sit on the spare bed in her library, when:

I spotted the 'black book'...just mixed in between, several other odd books, Japanese myths, Anthropology books about menstruation, a dire book "probably by" by Sackville-West I'd tried reading before..,

The Crowley book.

Dead, dead, dead....That book.

I was dead if I didn't take it down and threw it or burnt it...I tired to persuade her baby-son over days, to get rid of it...

When I left, and rode back up the winding road beside the chalk quarry, with the cat still on the ******** bike;

The bike jack-knifed, it just broke apart in the middle, and the tyres were down. The chain had fallen off.

A little white car drove up the empty road, and stopped beside:

It was the social worker manager from the evil house up the hill, that used to be my art club, the place were I continually drew copies of skulls, from my original copy of a real live human skull, and I like the art-club teacher, because she was gay...

The social worker had been looking for me...I was miles away from my parents house, so assumed somewhere had telephoned the house-up-the-hill...

I hadn't yet got back to my new flat, which was being refurbished after a fire months before...When I got back to the house, my aunt arrived, in my sisters room, I had destroyed the bunk beds, moving the slats, away, so that I wouldn't be sucked into the portal called Hell, above my lower bunk...the little bible (which would evoke many demons, because there is evil in the book too) was resting on the edge of a slat on the lower bunk, throw there, of which the mattress had been put on the floor, and there were big burn holes in the mattress, and bowls of soggy dried cornflakes everywhere.

She did something astonishing;

She leant over me, and shouted at me, as I sat kneeling on the floor...it was shocking to me,because I could see she knew what was happening but;

"I... she was wearing boots...."

---

So, I learnt that we were put in levels, and Emelbert had become one of those levels, the lowest of course, a little higher and safer than damnation...

---

I met a girl on the benches, she was a ghost, and she lay in my lap, I had met her before, from the War...when I was trapped in the ward, I would walk down the halls, up and down, I began to imagine where I would "Fly" to, I began to practise, I spat on the floor, and I high-stepped, I did it in front of her, forgetting I was being watched...later that night, a woman I had sent to Emelbert came into the dormitory where I had woken up...

She had gone to:

"A terrible place, while I heard you went to a party..." (sometimes I hear where people have gone as though there is a sound-window above their beds....)

We had hired a jazz-band for our wedding, me and the girl who had spat on my shoe...

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