I Hate This.

Am I having an affair?

I got a skinhead, a little crew-cut, I have stars cut into the side of my head, they look shit, maybe, with help from Mum, I can attempt a crescent moon and little star round the back...I have no pictures of my first skinhead, when I got that skinhead in July, I scared all the asian school-kids and mums walking past me, my hair got long quick, and I was at MOD-length, yesterday...jed....someone caught me looking through a cowboy covered crime-book for Mud, about Adam and Eve the KKK version, almost as good as my Ashu story and I swear I'm on record for reading out; "Kill a Jigaboo..." He had a spider-web tattoo on his elbow for killing a jew, mine is a star-of-david...I think I'll get that on my ankle...

So the Hijab, and all those office-fy clothes have been chucked, and I'm back to shirts all the baggy jeans I nicked off my brother.

I was walking downstairs with a laundry basket over my head, when I saw a very tall African guy, in a beard; "hey! My brother!" I don't want him here, I want my school-fren here, I dont want her in the other house, becud there a willy-man there. I want to kiss, her, because she very beautiful, half Irish/Malasyian , and she was party-mad, and the sweetest of the best looking girls,, I want to know why,!!?? I wandered to Mannies, when she saw me on the bench my grandad died on, and told me to get in her car...I was dead that day, I didn't know where to go, I kept walking, I went to the beach and sat in the empty go-cart area, no, just wander, to that house called Mannie; like you had to because, of, demons, haivng to save them from demons,...get in the fucking car, drive far...f**k she......so she's ill again...bring her here...we'll drive far. No, where I saw grandad last...

yeah

The Teacher.

First the other teacher...we had life drawing class of a man with a huge belly, icko and long white hair tied up in many hairbands, sicko teacher, starts talking about his butt...and then, 'rut rut'. I couldn't even walk over the space he left, when he'd gone...

Love's gone funny!

Love's gone insane..."Oh, look at that sketch! Soo good!!"

"Oh! It's my sketch! Ha! Genius!"

Well, in sculpture, she left her body, and flew in soul, and whispered something in my ear and sweet wind..."I know what she said?!" I don't know what she said; and well; she's newly married.

"What if she was an Angel? With Arch Angel wings?" Because Arch-wings are huge, 3 pairs of wings overall, the ones at the top of the shoulders, the biggest...Her colours are dark blue, and that ever magically fooling me (true love colour) dark green...and her hair flew in the wind, and it was wow.

Comfy.

Yummy. but, quiet

Then I woke up in the middle of the night, last week, and saw her as I was drifting away from bed...
be quiet.
What did she say to thung?

"Keep L. height, she is perfect...(my husband.....)she is sweet, look at you...you keep giving her hate...you don't know weep, I like weep...."

thursday

"She will excel." "I'm sure of it...I am getting her homely...I want her, in Martins!! The highest light!!"

The kids, they were perfect draughtmanship, with the homework, and i'm coffee stains and notes...I used clay for the first time, and the arms fell off, it was a group of aliens, hugging and raising their arms for victory...I was little bit sick, yesterday of painting, I found a face in the moon, so my ancient hebrew tribes-men with multi-colured hair, has gone, so I'm chasing Odilon Redon for skill at those flowers...and I re-read my scrapbooks...I've gone from, secret heavenly lore on ripped up bits of paper...to silly kawaii (cute) modelling of fluorescent aliens, made of play dough and big-headed japanese gods...which is supposed to be a joke about, the Matishis??? worshipping very odd-looking gods, and erm??? because I remembered how they learnt language, called God; Salla...odd...the scrapbooks have deep ideas, but I love my kawaii!!!