HERE'S....!!!

Anyway here's some thing about ATZILUT, inbetween, hot gossip, we know the 4 worlds, but there is a special higher, it is called OT, ot is similar to, Look, it is a force-word...like, SOOK (heres where i always get confused, is someone playing with my mind? i get interuptions, alot...)Sook is forbidden, it means crook...the Atzilut is a 14th High...there are 96 Heavens, there are now, 49 worlds containing living beings, as humans....Azerberiah, (thats it) is the closest to HIM

We skipped WORLD, we atzilut, we are to kaim the LOWER! Become, hold on, 'you too lead'...

Florence is upset, and drunk, so she's just about to right a blog, she caught my sister and new mum friend, in a taxi, crying I 'SPEND' with grannies...so they were in fits, she's always, drunk, its new years eve, and I'll be on here til the next year...she used to paint;

"twee, little pictures..." I draw;

seethes a grannies voice; "sinful death. Hate." It's the demon-granny again!!!
So, Lars breaking into the Higher World scene, you say crock!!means, when I'm at Peace...'Everyone prefers Beriah...'...this is the 'level' notes I have, at the back of my red-book;

Artists I'm studying are all generally 50th level; here; notes;

29th level = woe/crying create.

32 speak

9th level most popular, thinking of chart music ??

Pj (harvey) is 52, Thunder; I can reach 39th.

sicko; he is 28th speak, because they souled Fire fuck up; I'm 28th level, burned in higher.

MANNIE is 98th !!!! Lars, be Arabic.

52 in 11's

Lars can hit 63rd in music, if she ever dared go back to her guitar

Now i have to babysit, through the night. snores at 9;20

Why did I tell Florence NO? One Day, I even cried out;

"You're Fake!"


So, ATZILUT: 4 worlds, they are King...swords fell...Yetzah is DEATH, becasue the shells death...every light in man went fire...look at 'Issac Luria'....I knew I hit somehting inn the doodling, because I felt peace. It rains and rains, blue, in the highest...

highest levels to rreach are level 1000. this is elohim and alien tribes, the EZEKEL, are jewish,...we on earth soared to 500...

she's sleeping;


A dog bit its Mum's leg?? hahahaha. this looks hell, it's sweet...I am 91 throne. I tell them His...Luria was level 85....different catergories. I need lowest SEE.



Yes, I'm meeting a pop-star, it happens that that happens,


we spent four hours talking the rat people of Emelbert, I left her, and she spent 28 days with them, talking, squeaky...

Emelbert...do i include the trying to catch the dog pictures??

she thinks I HATE; "I, duhnooo...."



I said; your soul doesnt suit mine, I asked you, and it was too young, you said, not ready for you, you sounded younger than my soul, we dont match..."

Mine, isn't older, or, GOD! It's jumper!! My hands should look older. but i'm a killer. If old mean't talent.


florence;
she likes jews. she paints pictures, she uses a mixture of god and mog...she said:

"Muslims want me dead!!"



That dagobert stole my red velvet suit!! He's in purgatory, for being gross, and its ripped and covered in mud, lucky for him, I grow to 6ft 3...

Inspiration

I found alot of graffiti books, so i sat on the floor of the shop, and wrote notes all over my arms...the streetart-sketchbooks called (blackbooks, because they have to be hidden from the authorities)...

the Illustrations by famous graffiti artists like Blu, have helped me so much; they've opened up, a loser way of doodling, and I've begun creating types of doodles, that are highly in fashion, this decade, onto the new one...so, I have

cheap lined hard-back notebooks,

I have a redbook, a pink book, even a 'brun' and 'turquoise' books

I've spent the last two days, 'cup-of-tea' crawling around london, with a new expensive set of felt-pens, drawing people, special buildings, and imaginative stuff, I got a little high, on the amount of sugar I use, three per cup, I even got one tea for just 45pence...two days ago, I hung around from 1:oo til 8pm at night, because I don't like the atmosphere in the house, yesterday, I tidied my room without being asked and threatened with another send-off...and...

I bought tons of spray-paint cans. I've gone late 80's and early 90's mad...acid house/ravers/typography used in magazines...that's when I was a kid, I was mad on 'acid-rave', 'hardcore house' was shit, because it was like a sped-up casio keyboard, and tinky beats, and generally white-noise in squeaks, I bought 'acid-men' faces stickers, of all different styles with Dali covers on the back of the non-sticky side, so, they went up all over my door, and I knew about the rave-festivals on illegal sites, where millions of riot-police would turn-up...that I really wanted to join a rave, hoping they'd still be around when I grew-up...I think clubs are so shit now, around here anyway, I have some 'smiley' faces ready to be painted in gouache, in 80's colours like lemon, pale blue, and faded pink...I used a 40cm high, and 2m long very cheap canvas, to practice on, it dripped too much, and dirtied the wall, even with newspaper up...shit.

I've felt like crying all through the christmas holiday, and painting has turned to

shit.

but for, a sprayed jade green, metallic blue black and white abstract for my cousin's son, two long thin strips of thick card (bought in a collection of about 20 fro a pound), with black felt scribbles, and ball-point pen doodles of flowers, stuck onto a board painted in black, together with a white frame with black and green stripes, including the glass, which cost me; 1 pound 50p...

I also have a 55metre, mural to design, for a competition, and a win of 1000 pounds, for an old fishing fleet...I got the idea on the bus, so that's what I'm doing for the New Year, we had one party, a pretty big one, for the family...who I drew throughout the evening. No one, made comments, about my new look, grey mens' shirts, baggy trousers, very short hair, I rarely had my hair cut, until a year ago, never really, perhaps once every two years, so by the time I made to the mental hospital, it was all shaggy...I got bangs cut by the hospital hairdresser, all wonky, then, I was allowed out once a week, so I always bought records, and a coffee, and began to make friends with a girl there, until one day, I was just moved off to a rehabilitation house, for being skanky. That's where I began taking a heaven drug, and writing my books about aliens...

I had bad trips in the hospital, I kept see-ing, women with hairy dicks, hiding behind curtains, one of whom, an huge african girl, who would steal everything, because every item said: "This is Mine!", I left her alot of old records that I treasured, so, and a giant monster above the ceiling, with giant clippers...

I like tea-blotting, stamping the wet teabag on a page and then closing the book, inking images, faces around the blots...I like drawing chinese commnunists.

I've fathomed what kind of Indian Goddess, I would be, my colours, what I would hold that would suit my charcater, not something shit, like a brush or a mug of tea, I have a sword!! I wear 8 bindis (marriage spots) on my forehead, white spots above my eyes, I definatly have a nose ring, because I had my nose pierced when I was 16, (it 'got snorted up my nose', in the hospital, and they 'were giving me esctasy pills in the mdeication') which does have beads, because thats what I used to put in my ear-hoops...I'm green, with blue hair..one hand is held forth, in neon blue...I have sapphires under my eyebrows...I wear silver...

there was something else I wanted to write, but I've forgot.

I watched Autobiography of a Princess, with her...about the fall of the last Royal Indian family, and the princess, who lives alone in exile, in London, and invites a tutor, ebglish with a Indian surname, and an odd accent...to watch slide-show memeories, it's mixed;

with live footage, of interviews with the MAhrajah's family...and shit! I saw the first man, a prince, and flipped;

I said: "Why do I hate this dark man, am I rascist??" All through the beginning, where I was feeling sick on the just taken mediaction, I could hear, the woman, talking directly to me...

"Why put dirty men near Indian clean?"

"Indian Queens, we sing them in our sacred songs, you are too clean..."

I thought; "Who is saying this to me, do yoo mean the jewish clean??"

--- She hated him too---

We looked; both of our eyes, turned bright red...

"Because they were Devil-Blood?"

Her eyes said; "You have defied, you have sinned."

Mine said; "You are not our people's King. You hate Dalit, you sell blood, because you hated give...you are killing Him..."

She turned off, even though it was soothing. I made one mistake. I thought of Buttar. and I said her name, they heard it. What do you think of this, was she always going to be murdered? Did they remember that name, did they plan to kill, as though she was the one arriving like the Messiah?

GOD

I know what the fat-man did. I know where Muhammed dead

He called Yahweh, and had nowhere, how to fall me, than he kicked, 'brutal bitch, I'll cry your gore.' It worked, he shouted out and they screamed, (remember time goes quicker there, in one earthly half hour...Men had to 'discuss'...She was brute? But Yawheh had nowhere to have her fall. Tell me...'

'She gave shaggy bitch.'

He screamed...'That woman is fights!! She's crying kill 'fair' dead!!' (I called hte 'famous' couple for help, because 'I think I fell to Hell. I can see me there, PLease Help. I can't reach the girls. Haha, I dont really care!'

They used force,

Father, Father, Father. Heeeeeeellllllllllll....they burst a thought, it was, 'oh fucking well...'

FUCK!!!!!!!! SHE sings bitch!!!!!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!! The force was so sharp, they entered my head, I was still, laying in the bed, on my belly, in just a shirt and boxers, flying around christmas eves, with a knife, letting them see me in my shorts...to hit me, they roared; Fire in Hell...they heard; dead, they, clapped. I heard the fall, I can't remember who I stabbed, it was the fatman, stabbing didnt work, I didnt want it to happen...hazy...they say;

leave, leave,

hear truth.

'I have been killed.'

---

Someone wanked (??? my ??? is me, ) cross that out;

----

how I died.

Fear fall. Weep. Did I say fu god?? no.

They do it by screaming we're HATING!!!!!!!

God says SHEOL!!!!!!!

They cry I'm BITCH MAD!!!!!!

----

God said, afterwards, when I put some trousers, go

COWL.

I know what this means.

It means become alone in father. like;

a monk.

He said; That way, you will reap Heaven."

It meant no women.

I walked downstairs, the god-joke was; I started talking to Mum, in Italian, explaining, cowl;

"Si."

she was cool.
I wanted to know;

I said:

"I've married God." that was know.

I went back to bed.

I got a knee kicking me in the leg. I said go.

She said; the

Inspiration: thats the jerusalem prayer.

She said;

"You will have so much , you will make lots."

I said; "I hate men."

"No men, high. I was a woman, before they die, you are my. I love high..."

went to sleep

---
I know where Muhammed dead

By being a silly fool that thinks I make friends.

Happy Badness

when her ex-husband, died, the shuffling dog, was respectfully silent, and brutally mocking. Since I last saw Jesse, his chin his whole neck, has become a gloopy, multi-layered mess of thin droopy skin...

Samuel E David, is my egg. I said; "Let's make magic, every time I die, Dad's chin falls, I died 65 times...this is a time problem."

I won 100 pounds, and spent on presents, for the second time since I've ever brought presents, she got some crap, free books I took from the library, and a kids book, with a messy cover, like the board game last year, that had many pieces missing and another messy cover.

I've been pissed all holiday.

Last night, I fell to Hell, for meeting a guy in a paisley jacket, who was ;

'wanting'

Then I heard, you have fallen to Hell.

I could hear myself, getting beaten by men, in one little red corner of my mind.

I think I have a lump in my neck thats crawling up to the right side of my brain, and hurting a lot...
like;

'When dey twalk in mao bwain.'

I'm sorry if someone tried to stick that dick in my mouth, and I mistakenly tried to rip this fat man apart.

They got me out, quick?? quick??

I don't know, I heard I got out, because I said sorry to God. I said it directly.

The man is dead.
---
I wore a golden halo,, and chewed on a parsnip.

I discovered Arch-Angel Micheal, is a woman, and my wife. SO much for calling a big guy, to fight Hell.

Lots of us fell, yesterday, she had the job of flying down to get them out.

I felled Mohammed.

My cousin arrived, my cousin who i think is really a demon-soul. He got knifed through the body, by a Mohammedan, taking revenge. So did, Mannie, but I managed to guard her, except for their last try,...off went the eyes...I knew it was wiser to walk about the house, rather than fighting in bed.

I can't;;;; hear;;; they cant;;;hear;

so, what did happen?

I felled Muhammad, for crying some men, were, 'his men'...so much shit, since 7yrs ago, she appeared in the sky to give baby, I saw these men in front of me...this is because, we

reminisced about making the baby, and someone cried;

show the face of the dead!! thye appeared like a film in my face, thats what I saw.

Annie said we died, when I got back in my sleep;

'You said that man was want and they said no. then you cried, and fought. you leapt up and screamed, you pointed, some men fell, because I see they were sick, they were thinking, ; this bitch is red. why did my father want? the man who want is dead. You fell because they said; red, and replied you called out; bitch. They felled you, because they know, because they learnt the ; 'heffer'...

Anne F. continued:
'Mohammed won't see, he thinks 'things' are Him. He says they were holy clean. They are those butch Nazis, that fat-man died...I hate jewish! Because these fathers are sick! You msut be Jewish! Lars, do Jewish. They don't want, flee...I hate them...'

When they fell, I laughed, "See? ...We all die...that fat-man is free...I sent Hell to free, they are in a little He. It's a white town. I gave them home and free."

When they said; "Why did that witches husband fall?" Because I needed there help, and it was silly, she was in hysterics, because he was met by Jesus, I sent him back..."

I think she actually crying, 'I 'dont' &*^)( know...'

We do it all the time, Halakallahic Hebrew Nutcases;

Self-Righteous,
---
Mum.;

I picked up a black coat, it looked like mine, I put in on, I took it off;
'this is yours.'

"THAT IS MY COAT, YOU DIRTY BITCH GO BACK TO REHAB RIGHT NOW, WE'RE TAKING YOU BACK, YOU SLEPT DIRTY IN MY COAT."

what was the right thing to do, it was to walk upstairs, and shout down;

'Bitch!! it was on the banister! I just picked it up" and then sit in bed with a Latin American Art book, obviously, wanting, to cry her to hell. taking little punches, like, if she beats the baby, whack on the head, and then sit speaking that no wives love me. She can't hear them anyway and neither can I. Want cuddles. Then she is flying or dodging punches while some bastard is hitting her over the plate organisation.

Annie F. continued;

"You left everyone, laughing, you ran up the stairs, crying 'dirty willy-man!'

and said;

"Goodbye! I am Queen!"...

they screamed, because, the light hit them and they fell...

I love you..."

War Diary

"Shit!! They're gone, all dead, the fuhrer died...I'm in bed...he died in night, the bunker is red, I know the truth, eight men were killed. I saw what happened, I'm grateful, Eva fell...they died in the night, it was jew, the jews killed...everyone died, I found a body, it was burning...they fell in fire...now, I'm cool, I'm cool in light, I will work...I can find Heaven...I will look...I can't believe they're heathen...I'm cool...just cool."

"The fire, it was soul...they burnt in bed...I know what is sick, to say, that man loved girl...the only bunker is bed..."

"I'm freak! Everyone dead! I'm alone in freak! This is the beginning..."

"I've infiltrated, I have become Fuhrer. I read every freak, I am going to find a light...I walked to the centre of Hell...Now I am King..."

"Jewish, I can bring back Jewish!"

"See-ing is easy. Bringing God."

"They screamed, I laugh...burned in bed...they were moving through clouds, and it's a waste, a waste because I am King...every day gets His...I want spite...('Kill them Now') Release...(this is a release of magic)...two burned, I like it...Hell is night. I've killed."

"I loved Heaven, I loved Height. This is Heaven, I have become, I have become Love-Fuhrer. Swell..."

"Someone died, let them, we all die."

"Are we Religious? I think Religion died, I regret not living Bride. I needed to have wit. I was circumsised...regret...living fascist is hurting everything, why can't they see I love??"

'How They Died:'

"They were spinning; Bride! Bride! Telling everyone we're dead, so cool. The Germans are crying, dead.

First, he sang; 'Why are we Bitch?' "Because we're Fire." I wrote Heaven, I wrote into the first man who cried. His name was Nietzsche. Fire.

War Diary

we were the 'Klautervight', Women Who Work...

Jewish

the criminals in the snow

pretty Grandmother appears in my cafe, thick wavy black, huge long black eyebrows, a long white nose,

belting out a tune,

I have one picture of her, two, long skirt, legs splayed with friends, wearing furry big coats with her older sister in the street... there are the weirdest looking Irish girls, they weren't chubby faced like me, with my bright red hair, that changes from mousy brown to blonde depending on the light...and they weren't English looking, like Irish women... and she has fathomed out some story that we're descended from the Royal Stuarts, I knwo about my blood, 'YES! Silly Nan, because I'm sure; Charles is my illegitimate child!' Then I say something gross, that I couldnt see his Mum, because I'm blind...he looks more like Dad's side...'

Nan says; 'You know we're God, and I'm sure we're Jizers (??WHAT??) Irish Jewzers...'

I get annoyed whenever they're happy and drunk; why?

because she's back to

"Whats solly, Jovid?"

that's when I realise, we

MUST

be jewish

because,

'I'm reading, simultaneously; a collection of jewish essays, I've got to COMMUNITY chapter, beginning with Glasgow Emigration, where Nanny lived, in the slums, where they got attacked and had all their hair cut off at the 'train station' , where the Irish moved into the same area, as the poorest jews, scottish-irish gran, and chubby faced bearded blonde grandad' so thats odd, because scottish gran, looks like a thin faced American Indian, so; "Where's the Long-Face?"
Nan was 16 at the end of the war, went to Norfolk, and

I have
an animation book

(so now I want, lots, I want a huge camera to make pictures, I want a digital video camera with a 'stop motion' mode, from Dad, 8mm is best, a huge old-fashioned camera, but, that wont work, I think a modern one is best, and if I make it, (1st project handed in last week, I can use it for University, if I can escape the mentally-ill life...I'm so down...I think someone killed my joy, at joining this art-course...and I have Paris...and a staff-worker , younger than me!! is accompanying me to Paris!!

Look at This! I've been to Berlin, Jerusalem, Barcelona, all without, earning or spending any, of my own money, and now!! the last place I need, on my list, is China)

because

I discover in the cafe, where an old family is also singing, that I'm read the

Torah,

inside the other book, where I realise I'm reading out-loud, in my head, fluent Yiddish, maybe I'm reading it to girls/wives in Heaven;

because the book has turned gold,

And I'm singing 'Abraham was light'...

because,

I'm always quiet and serious, with them.

I dont like the drunken fun...I always find a corner to hide in...and Hannah used to be the only real Mummy...and

Jewish!

saying DOK-TOR is hilarious