"This is not your house!!" they shout, "Well that's funny cos menteng I own the house..."
I'm cunning, that's why!
I say I am going through the 'Gothic' door, because I see it in front of me, Gothic because it is black and it says die and hell...and I say this is the Jew's, they dictate where I go when I die, I say it on purpose, because I want to hurt, like everyone else, and I am helled....I smash plates
I've realised. I go for a walk in the house and I am surrounded by crying women in robes rolling around on the floor, what I am to do?? My easiest language is Aramaic, followed by french, and I must stop crying "Hot Shit!!" in Punjabi, when I watch her in the kitchen...but, these holy women ;
I can nay hear them, and I decide, I am not; them!. Why? Because I am in death.
I understand the concept of time, as Pratchett writes it the Trouser Time Theory, it means I have already a taste of Heaven, and when I die, that taste (according to how I have thought and acted) will be taken away, because I am mean, I am rude, I am never one to mourn (what is mourning?? The werewolf? why is she killed, is it because she was a felled soul? It is right to say there are higher men, (Aryan, Kushka, to Dahksha) and this belowman?? I hear the girls say, how could we ever tell? It is disgusting for my wife to change, she knows how my mind works...Allah will still save, and if I have the power, make it work arubptly, which is good intention, but how can I talk her back, in the change??? that would entirely mess her up because I know the change word, and she says "Louis, I know what you're like, don't change me in change!!"...and I am slow, so slow, I hear my own to be "Expecting the good, but fearing the worse! And make everything work out fine", RIGHT NOW
And I only want to hear good, because how could Allah have made it any over way??? How could we tell a belowman from a god?? Because the godman is riddled with sins, everything is basically a sin, until YOU, just leave...just leave everything, or, worse, cling to rules, rules that you THINK in obeying make you anyone better...we are little pigs...I mean is the werewolf a result of hellmen, being deincarnated?? (falling down into animal...reincarnation) My mourning should be real, I mean to say,
I should feel it, and damn the rules!!! I want my rules, not the hospitals, jewish rules, This would lead to a straight jacket, OR this could lead to showing more love...what can I do?? I hear;
"Werewolves are made from God, because God looked at the woman from whom He made the moon, and He wants Her, so He, Howls!!"
I met an Arab boy in the takeaway, and he swore at the staff, I expected a reaction, of what I don't know, but as he walk out, opening the door, I threw, an incredibly godlike look, my eyebrows darkened, my eyes turned red, and in front of my eyes, his hands reached his face, bent, and he began to dribble...
I have killed a boy. And I pray, logially that if Allah power did this, Allah power can heal.
Then last night, I see the face of a girl, mouth wide open, my girl, my daughter, and she has been killed. I do nothing, I lay there, wondering who this is, Allah, (this hebrew god of yours) someone up there has destroyed my daughter because she said God is a hog!! And I don't look at the women who did this, but I think I hear them, and I call them Burkha Bitch, please don't be moslem, I bet you're fat fascist cow, and then I think of my woman in Heaven, that I see at the door of the house, it's Mannie's house, she is waiting inside, with the children, wearing her burkha, is this Mannie? (she wears the silver and black veil I bought her) looking like I have died, and then I have other images of British soldiers finding this house, yes, this is Mannie's house, and having us all killed, this is the end of our world...this is what will happen, that weekend, i spent five hours in the rain, watching the cat through the door, with a can of beer, standing in the rain, with soaked shoes because I fell in a puddle, occassionally talking to a Matishi rat alien drum n bass nut, she likes "I'm a black man! Black man!" (taken from Mannie's son, I think he is cooking up more than chess matches, and he's doomed!!) and, talking into the house; "I like you to see this is love, I have waited here, and believe God, my love here, my love is yearning for you!! My love is greatest! This cat is Jesus! Please remember we are One! I have ever love!! Is point to be scored? because we're soul! Please understand I am God!" Then, I wander into the shops, holding up a tin of pineapples and a blackcurrant juice, in each hand, I think the guy has been rude, so I burn his face!! I have been strangled, shot, crucified, eaten, burnt, and I'm beginning to think; DIE, like me!! and I say; "I did it!! I admit it!! I am the terrorist!!"...think, wait, wait, you will have forever to be God, last night, I think who am I most comfortable with in Heaven? I mean who relaxes my soul?...and what am I to do?? Pray for the best...go to mourn...
My task, is; To See His. Ask everyone, and no-one, if he is OK, because something in me has cried, keep me soooo away from Heaven!!!
I don't...For ten minutes I am low, but I say, SEE MINE!! see Proof!!...And I am back to this!!!! Nothing!! Barely hearing but assured she is fine, no idea who she is...no idea what these women say to me, expect "We are dead!!" And my sister what am I to do, when I hear Baal, and it is something in my dad, WHY must Anne visit me, with cords round her wrists....what devil men have overtaken Heaven??!! And I look at my sister laughing, then bang I drop into her soul and see her soul break in front of me, even though I have spent so much time worrying for her... Why do I say Annie is my Love, when I never want to see her?
The werewolf?? "If I had the power, I would let her remain a woman for life..." Then, this morning, I hear it has worked, AND yet, this evening she is back to wolf, and Allah is leading her away from me, down, through a door, because it is forbidden????
The shopping trips tells me much, I miss out on the mosque, because I'm shy, and the girls have followed on the bus, to keep me happy, so I go into the library inside, it's a tiny library, I find the newspapers and sit opposite the Tamil section, I think of an Orthodox woman for bed, she's married...this voice in others has died, I see and hear the happiest moslem woman talking to her children, and it's the best!!! But I am damned pissed at finding the best, and my voice is taken again, and she says the word; "Dead!" or "Sex!" And then I woe my soul, and cry let them go, then I hear and see sparkling lights, like a William Blake, the sun shining through a cloud, and the Angels speaking..."Go Away! Please forgive me!! I don't want to hear you!!" But I am I want to hear my wives so much......And I walk through the rain back to the shopping centre to buy my Jewish Chronicle, and look into all the moslem area shops chanting Paki, paki, paki, because I hear the word in my head...and Ive let go!!...And I hear a man crying And I tell Annie she needs a punch!!! A punch for making me think you were dead in Heaven!! I will come home and beat you!!! How dare you come to pretending you were killed, and I look at myself, and I'm sick yellow, and I have three black nipples on my chest and I hear her scream... And I say, "Do you see this, last night I was a beautiful woman, now you see what my soul has become, and I send myself to Hell" I know people in the street can see me so I send it away; To Hell...
I see the headlines, Bomber Boy Kills...I work for Heaven, so I check, thinking this is what will redeem me!!! THAT is the primary thought pig!! The Taliban had tied him to a chair and threatened to kill him...into Heaven. I forget I'm still in Hell.
By the time I'm home, I remember where I've gone, and I cry me out of Hell. I hear I've made 3 million pounds, for what?? Getting the bomber boy home?? So I look, I see 'beautiful me' walk up the stairs into Heaven. I say, did they get me out? Let me hear, because I would rather go to Emelbert.
I hear; Miss; you the bestlooking thing I have ever seen!! We love you, Miss!!
I talk to Allah;
You have Eternal Life, and you were prevented from going to Hell, You have three million pounds. You redeemed three men who heard you were Hell. You said, Allah let me go to Emelbert instead, So there you went...The men you love are Jews...Yoou see the door because you are shells, shells are hells, let fair come home, I will be fair, you are no, we are never no...(oh, I am worse, so much worse...)
WHAT CAN I DO!!!!!?????
I think on the bus, I think I don't want these girls, I want wives, but I am sooooo glad to hear these girls better than wives...Who do I feel comfortable with in Heaven, Mohammedans No.1 men!! The feeling is astounding!!
Something like, a bigbath, and sail and respect...I nay feel weak, but I am chuckling out loud that here I must be their nigger!! Because not one man on this bus makes me feel comfortable, not the young Arab guys!! Mohammed's men!! They are 'salvar' (salvage) soul!!! These are the men I wanted to leave home for!!! The holy flags!! Let's look at these Saudi's...Father!! I have found one God men of the seated men in the political meeting!! Cry Him!!
I went to Emelbert and returned. And there I gather people/ratpeople; I sing the Arab boy...and he is soul, "Mummy we sing! Louis, I am fine. You did hurt me, because you looked at me kill, and I went funny, until I got home..." I spent fifteen minutes only, after crying him all the way on the bus, and I wave the bathmat around spinning in circles crying;
"Habibti boy is dead!! Please heal Habibti!! (means, I think now; Sexy!!)" Oh!! Look t my beautiful education!! So many years learning in Heaven!!mourn, mourn, mourn, dead, dead, dead. Then we throne, A VOICE says I was only 18 yrs old on Emelbert when they called me to Throne, (spiritually 17, so that's the age I was when I arrived, minus wrinkles, pockmarks, and this little furry blonde and orange beard I developed after Mum's attack on me with hair-remover, which she constantly tells me to remove, and I will not!! (But...I saw Mum die, she sat there and shook, and said oh, no! I looked at her, and she looked cuddles and vunerable, she heard alien girls from Planet Jesus, say; Nanny Doozan, you are the bed!! I tell her outright, "Mum, you're hearing alien girls, they can't talk proper English yet, they said; You are the best!! And she actually replied; "Yes!" Ahha!! I reminded baby sister, but then I reminded myself what I stupidly hollered in her head, the shock, that Dad was dead...what we did in Heaven, Me, her, and Delphine, sitting there on a sofa in the skies, howling, and other things like walking her to school, Mum is much improved, she's finally talking to the aliens, she's realised that mine telling her her daughter has just finished Artschool, is not some way of my, being, (the word?) She'd say 'nutty'...My little husky puppy, loves me, says he loves mummy, and cries; Chase me!! when I let him off the lead...) the Garret book became a hit, because it was about Jesus men in death, I wrote the philosophy, Mannie wrote 'High Crime!' and the Emelbertians, on their planet, they cry;
"King Louis!! Forever!"
Jo Daemen cover designs
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