Learning Koran

I was supposed to meet a girl, at my library, on this time, on Monday, a week after we met...I arrived a little early, but maybe late...I stayed there until it closed...about 6 hours, on the computer twice, and then at a table with books...

I arrived again the next day, and stayed for another 6 hours...I had seen her the Friday before, in an aisle, all dressed in white hijab...


http://mysticalpaths.blogspot.com/2007/11/ben-ish-chais-verdict-in-heaven-return.html (this about soul travel, v.interesting

but, I grabbed the bag, from under the table, and ran out...Sitting odwn at the table, in front of the aisle, I spotted a Koran for Idiots...I picked it up and read through a few pages...then I took down a Quran translation that had been donated, I quietly placed it on the table in front of me, some people kiss it, others place it in cloth, I just quietly moved it up the table away from me in a special place,until i felt well enough to pick it up again, because I was goign to think something stupid...I read idiots again, and found an interesting passage, with an Ayat, about Creation...I began to copy down the Arabic into a book and read it after I had written it down...I stayed light, until I heard a woman's voice mumbling ( a voice that sounded like someone I knew, but maybe wasn't, maybe she was a djinn, made from some of her heathen thoughts)...I fought this voice, and continued copying down verse...I thought the woman djinn up to God, mostly I was unsure, I thought it was the woman I knew...I said,

"I'm writing this before God..."

But I was worse, I wanted to kick the woman into a judgement, the thing is, it was her, not particulairly annoying me, but mumbling to herself...I thought she knew what I was doing, and arrived to kill it...terds...then I relaxed, and began writing another verse...still warning the woman, that we were writing and talking before God...I slip quick...but I kept writing...mostly, I speed write, like I speed eat, I don't know why, I think I'm in a rush to keep getting somewhere, to keep walking...and save something for the future...

When I looked at the next verse, my hand was flowing, I was writing quickly, but this time, I could see the Arabic lettering, together...I mean I began to;


Read the verse out loud, the Arabic, as though I was reading out my native language...I mean my pen stopped at the end of the first word, but I read the whole verse, through,  as though someone had given me a lot of help...I could read it, flowing but couldn't yet understand what the words meant.


I told the woman what had happened...that I could hear myself read the whole verse, without struggling...like a little white light had been turned on...I read the verse well, flowingly before my pen could jot it down, as a complete verse..."God heard me!" I said to the woman djinn..."And she's given me skill in reading this,..."

I said; "I'm not sure what the words mean, but they will come to me..."

But I stopped writing,and lost myself quickly, I started calling out, "Bitch", then believing some one was calling me about someone;

"Bugger!" ("Grandad swears, do I have to honour Grandad, with a swear word? I know that is just TOO sarcastic...")

"Bitch." "Bugger!"

I wasn't dying or turning into a demon, I was still light, but the word bugger, just kept appearing...I supposed I was hearing someone talk to me...

The Boys!

I'm in the supermarket....flicking through the jewish chronicle, in a busy newpaper stall, where people keep grabbing under my paper, for the heathen rags...there's some interesting articles, usually i read them out loud, but i dont want to hover too long, and I've just spent my paper-pound on a scratch-card, because I'm trying to raise some money for a date, the possibilites of paying for somewhere, or something...

Suddenly I feel eyes, around me, staring intently...

then I realise these eyes are about a foot and a half above the ground...alien-like, eyes of  superior minds...

So, i read about the jewish astronauts, but I dont want to linger too long...and the cousin who inherited the Klimt Art Collection, is a "lucky bastard..." and I walk...

I realise, that, kids that aren't mine, are watching me...the same kids, in an Orthodox Jewish family, I met previously in a supermarket toilet, when I was out, with the mentally disabled group watching our annual film.

I'm not freaked, so I let them see lights from my thoughts, silver, wow, what did I say?...I wear my white wings...to show Angel...

I think I've lost them, as I walk home through the quiet streets. I have to toilet, I have to hygiene...the 'boys' are toddlers...they both wear big muslim looking black kippahs that cover the whole head, and coats that match exactly one of my old coats, brown cordoroy, with hoods...so, they're The Boys!

I dont know why I've been followed...because I'm dreaming about a date with a girl...

The eyes leave, and I pee, I fill the bath...I am bathing with my clothes on...

I sit down to the mirror, and I'm doing things to my face....and then,

 I feel the eyes again;

"...midwitch cuckoos..."

they move off again:

to report:

"That lady  painted a  'Maschtas'  on her face!!"

"She washes her face and sings!"

;

They talk to me, but I can't hear;..."Why did you wash off the paint?"...

Their sister says:

"If you are on a date, you must sing!"

The boys say:

"She is getting ready for a date, but she is still ugly!!"

I wonder what their Dad thinks, why Mum kept walking with her head moving round, and her eyes away, like she was hearing voices...Dad was pushing a pram, and giggled when he saw me, because I said Hello!
 I said, Boys you wear a coat like mine!

"You must keep singing!"

A Girl Called Yes

so I was in the library, with my cherry colour (cola) beside me, writing a list of arabic words...I looked quickly to my right at another table, where a girl had just sat down...I looked back at my books...sighting, this..."IS my folder, with a big ARABIC written across it...look..."

When she caught my attention by standing up swiftly, and leaning forward, I shook a little...

"You are learning Arabic!!"

Yes, I am.

Then she moved towards my table, and stood in front of me...she was wearing black snood, under a black hijab...she was slim. I looked at her side-ways with wandering eyes...she was wearing make-up, good well-applied hazel make-up, purple and black, her face was quite...light/pale...she said loudly:

"Do you want me to teach you Arabic!!!"

I listened to her accent...I said, "You are Russian, you are a spy...Polack...you sound polish..."

"No, no, I am just beginning,...I I I can't make words, I mean I haven't learnt how to put sentences together, yet, ..." And I waved my pen over, the books, and grabbed at one and flicked through...waving at the words in the book...and pulling them towards me like I wanted to hide them...I said;

"I am not very good, I can't put sentences together, I'm a bit stupid...I've know, I I, I've been learning (5 weeks), 5 weeks, no; less, a month and a half..."

she sat at her table again, holding a mobile phone up, and staring at its screen...

I smiled, hoping, looking to see if she was smiling too, and went back to writing the list...but stopped and just stared at it, then looked side-ways, and began gathering the papers and books around me to make a neater space...and she shot up again, and stood over me, her face leaning into mine...

Then I said: "I am doing a course...which I have to pay for...but it is closed for Rama'dan' (rama-daaaaaaan) Rama Rama, rama dan...I I I....daa' daan, I am not converted, I am at ----name--- college...(thinking, someone has planted her here, a polack, why did i give the place....)...it is a charity..(It is a very poor place, that's why we give money, the ceiling has holes in it and messy walls, and the pens run out....)....it has barbed wire, and pen bars over it...it is a charity, (what? organation?) ah, ah"

She lifted her eyebrows.


" I am doing this because...I am silly...and I love poetry (Rumi, Khayyam) and I love the music...the college is behind the ----- Mosque...(will you find me there?) I should not tell you this..."

I think she told me a few times she would teach me, and everytime I said No...I was blushing, and I said so, I was "red." looking down at the book...I thought; "I haven't blushed for a very long time, I did it all the time at school, in front of pretty teachers..." (I was even mute for a whole year of Graphics...)

"You were born a muslim?" I asked, because I was sure she was a polish convert...she bowed and looked:


"YES! I was born a muslim..."

She was standing there looking, while I blushed...I moved the book:

"I, I also go to a ART...a school...I mean...art-school....just , I mean a silly little course at a local college...I am embarassed about Rama'dan, I am so stupid to pronounce...so,

"I also design mosques, well a little, it stopped...I am doing this course, because I want to go to study Architect....tect...tureeeeeeee....ar-architect (I am stupid so I will say that wrong, also)...please leave me...'

She replied:

"I know alot, of, mosques...!!"

"No, no..."

"My name is Lou, lou...not the boys one, Louis...What is your name?"

Loud, she leaned very close to my face, she had quite large lips and they were hazel, and I said "Autumn!" ("because I used to wear my mum's hazel coloured lipstick when I was a teen, and I love Autumn colours"):

"Na'am!"

"You are YES, YES!"

I repeated her name, and pronounced it perfectly...

She leaned forward again, and shouted:

"NA....am!"

"Please leave me..."

She said:

"Can you meet me, here, at the same time, on the same day??"

I said:

"I am going to my parents....no, no...yes, I can meet you here, on Monday, pleaase leave me alone...."


She sat down at the other table again, I wondered what she was doing here, why she had no books, the reason for her being in the library, was because she was a spy sent to find me, a russian spy...she was holding the phone in front of her again, up in the air, doing nothing but stare at it;

I ran out...I left her with:

"Do you smoke?" She said: "No..." like she was sad ...I ran out, and sat in a corner by the entrance...then; she walked out a split second after, holding the phone up in front of her...and turned the corner to the car-park...I went back in, and sat at a computer, looking out the window...but I saw her drive away in a small red car...it was sad, so I wrote my email address, and left it at her place at the table...


---

There are songs in Hope, and for some reason this is my YES song...It played in Dad's car...it lifted me...The Klaxons-Echoes...it's nothing special...

The Moon Lady

"I want fight!! Shine my King is SOUL!!"





HE GAVE HIM< HE GAVE HIM!!"

Every Sin is HIM, He was first lover!

I see the End of Death, we will...."

A Girl CAlled YEs

soundtrack; (so, I said hi....hiatus)

Baby D-Let me Be Your Fantasy, followed by:

Warriors Dance-Prodigy,

How Soon is Now-The Smiths

, after a fight with an afro nerd goth;

and light awoke: and she said:

"I am LEVANNAH< THE QUEEN OF LOVE< my name is ;;;;"

A Girl Called Yes

Sometimes, when I'm in red...or unsure of what to say, or rather how to say, because I'm usually insulting someone before in an uncontroallble spurt of many forgein languages I talk like a 'fat-girl'...a dumb dumpy meek nuttter....

I was unwittingly, and too quickly, writing down a list of words; he praised, he chased away...planning my colour chart to make tonight with my colour pencils...writing sooooooooo quickly I didnt register howwwwwwww to remember the words...I didnt register that that Alif in the middle of a few words...that, the word had to be read, all, together...as a flowing line...so Iraq, and Iran helped out, and I forgot the F and the Qaaf, again, and flipped back through the beginner book, which has lost its cover, and is covered in scribbles... I also translate my poetry on a computer...if you read back, you know I have been calling Father...

the quotes from the Quran at the end of the book, were full of Making Shaytan, and being in Darknedd, as though, I thought one line didn't make sense, it said: God made the Darkness...I was supposed to read that to Father, but;

I only said: "I suppose... (that you)..."

Oh what have I done? Called every leader in God, hebrew ones, that I'm;

Dead...

because I couldnt go back to him, with I'm dead...and last week was so dark, I read Boy in Striped Pyjamas...I read that through telling...

----

The Fury; someone thought I was calling for Fuhrer...I was just reading my book...I said I like Fury! Not Furher...

I bought the cherry cola, cheap, because I like to smoke after about half an hour out side the library doors...I'm getting weak, so I eat alot...I get weak from walkign up stairs, I got suddenly dizzy from the heat...so I skipped Ramadan and could never make a Hajj, in the desert, but I call God, and I have Angel Wings...I see I am gold inside my eyes and in my hands...I discovered in the book-shop when I lifted a hand to my head, and there was a glow of light from the tap, and flowing about my hand...but I change colour,and each colour is a soul...

I thought, What did I tell HER? ( a womans voice, I know my reaction to men.)


A HOUSE OF LOVE, ('built' by me)

I sent green eyes (true love) I sang lemon (worship)






Hello!

I was worse down here...bad...damned...

A Girl Called Yes

I'm in the library trying to pronounce Philistine, and Lubnin, creectly....c.o.r.rec.t.l.y...the plan was to stay. away. from. the house...

I bought a Costa coffee, for 2 pounds 5 pence, I had 10 pounds today...I get five a day...yesterday I spent 3 pounds, but I still had a flim (a five pound note) ...I picked up twenty pence off the floor, earlier, on the way to the bus-stop, dodging large dollops of stinking dogs-poo, sure I was going to end up smashing my face in it and licking it with my tongue, it's this uncontrollable flying...


stay with me... I gave the server guy, one 2 pound coin, and a fifty p coin...then I remembered the twenty p coin...I took his hand as he was tapping up the machine, took the fifty, and replaced it with the twenty into his hand....ok so;


cost of cappuccino (I went there to sit for at least an hour over Arabic books)


: 2:05

cash given 2:20 p

change received: 45p

HA! so I grabbed everything quick, which was a bit silly, because I nearly spilled it (and I've left two cafes, because of things like that...like manky crisps, split tea that had been dropped in front of the counter, and no refunds)

and later bought a cherry coke, for 39p (national London prices 60-70p) at the 99p store;


OK, that's the story of the coffee, later one of the library...