The Prayer 2

I have free lessons at the mosque, once a week...I've gone backwards with memorising surahs, as there a terrible uncleanliness in me, and it needs to stay away from the book...I picked up:

"Au'do Billah Himena Shatayni Ragheem..."

Quicker than even I thought I word (would), and I've been doing this for almost a year...

We sit in the deaf girls section, which is just on some odd landing around two flights of stairs and a ablution and toilet just opposite, where we all share various sizes of flip-flops...which always astonishes me...because my socks still get wet, and I wear sizes too big, and they're just there....and...when I went there to paint and draw the people in the place, I had to continually change my watercolour cup, and each time, a strange looking woman wearing glasses with giant lenses that make her eyes look huge, stops me, in arabic, and points to the flip-flops,

"Sister...sister..."

"Yeah, just a minute...yeah I've left my ribena in there..."

"Sister sister, blah blah blah..." pointing at the flip-flops...

When the Adhan begins at a specific time...before that prayer-call, my teacher thinks I'm not going to pray, because I sit silently holding the book on my knee, leaning against the wall, feet out, sighing, because she's going mental, beside me, clutching her head, and bowing up and down...there's a lot of psyching each other in this white-muslim-women happenings...so, I psyched I wouldn't prayer, and then...but this is the girl who says Allah will reward me, damn if I forget to say:

Sallaam Alai Ekom


When she goes to join the other women and a stand in line...

I get up, and put my hands on my knees, leaning forward, I watch them, from a little distance, and see my teacher turn dark green...

I sigh...

I stored up, about little more than 1095 days of prayer, which means, specifically, I pray in a chair, in a bed, round and round a garden, on the toilet....

I know there's a war, and I prayed Sanity....

If men and women in Arabia or anywhere else, have to be tortured and killed, then let them die quickly...there are other alternatives. Just a quick little heart-ache..."Cut into their heart and you have a quick death..."

The men torturing them:

"Let them know Hell, make them die..."

We sing:

"A-audo billah himena shatayni ragheem....."

We prostrate, we stand up...when we prostrate again, I cry out...

And...

to the right of me, like a secret black door, a tiny white light, shines on and then off...


I look at the women in line, and wait to bow...

I get on the floor, and then stand up...

My right hand blazes with red flame, on and on, the fire flies through my hand, and disappears into the floor as I bow and  touch my hand to the floor again...

I was in delirium...

I wanted to let every muslim I knew what had happened...it got horrible, I kept repeating the same things, at once I expected them to see, without explaining...

These were important things for me to include before I finish the blog....

Sallam alai ekom