Lars and The Books

I like to think I have a Life...I have lost the best book; one I wrote in Rehab, I forget the year, but it was early summer, the garden was huge, with a smoking shed at the end, and a little fish pond...I was taking different types of drugs for different mental illnesses, and I added to those with some stuff magic, the round red pills got me hyper, and I added to that, wibbly woof, a Planet Jesus drug, and some little dark blue blocks called American LSD, or acid something...never touch the Dab-alien, a dark grey evil-looking powder...

So I began the first page of six hundred pages, tied together with string, which I got with the pads from a trip to the post office as I was collecting benefits there with the staff. 

The first page, was about Amorelia, it went from a description of a Choosh dog, which I first saw, in the corridor, my wife holding it's lead, it's an actual reptile shaped like a whippet, and very dangerous, that she had one on a lead, shocked me, that she lay on a bed, in the rehab conservatory (no sitting in the living room, no TV) like the image on my dark blue t-shirt, an image of a woman with long flowing hair, holding a sword, floating around her, shields wearing the Union Jack, faded through red, to orange to a green...the model....cool...it went from the description of the Choosh dog, to some kind of Burrough's like, ritual mourning...then, at the turn of page 2, became Jewish women, calling me as they were dying...where I guessed, in a camp somewhere in Germany...I would make a great journalist, I write as it happens, and I didn't give my self time to let in any type of emotion...

I was aware that lack of emotion was the most disgusting crime...the worse crime.

I wrote what she said when she got home, and carried on with my book.

There are two books, of around 300 pages each. The second book started with a story of two homosexual men, sitting in a garden, one of them spots a gang of gorillas, and chimps, and there are some sort of jokes in it, about invisible monkeys. But the second book got tainted...

I had extra books. I had a red thin hardback book, containing songs, the songs were in Punjabi, they were Holy Songs, for some reason I already knew that, Hindus Indian's, worship God by making and singing songs...It was a translation from the depths of the 1st book, and contained songs of Chariots, and Horses and Swords and Worship.

There were chapters, containing conversations with a Demon, whom I mistook for a girl, until I heard:

"Wear a Purple Bra...."

"You want me to wear a purple bra??? I'm writing the blood of David is dead....do you  really want me to get a bra???"

Lucky for me, the book was more important, than the serpent sex, so I stayed at the desk...I had a little room, with a chair and a desk, I stood a little out of the window, with a foot resting on the roof, perched on the window sill, at night, to smoke roll-ups from butts of roll ups, from the butts of roll ups...Once, when I crept out into the garden, late a tonight, I saw, a river full of reads, and the most frightening hairy orange arms, reaching into the water...a Neanderthal, I expected, or, "that thing...." and I dreamed about the little baby on the basket, floating along the hallway, on the end of my long robes...

I wrote down the lyrics of the songs PJ Harvey was working, in the dark,big scribbles and little mashed up words:


"The Wave Winds are Billowing!!!"

After her lyrics; I wrote about a man watching a concerto of violins...

Next thing I know, I'm on top of a cliff, with King Gray, in Emelbert, in the last war, watching for the dragons demons flying towards us...We are just about to die, and he tells me he loves me, I say I love you too, I die grotesquely, I am burnt to a crisp by a dragon flame...: "Only her feet left..."

Next, I'm wearing muffles over my ears, with a roll-up in my teeth, in the snow...I'm disguised as a boy, and I'm in a Russian Gulag in Siberia...I work there...And the only Russian I know is "Dah..." Then I'm found somewhere by Russian soldiers, discussing Americans, The Americans are God, are you God...are you good...don't care about Americans, no good...then a Jewish man, watching us says he will take me away and marry me, before anything bad happens....

Then the worse book. The second book, was becoming total Hell, not in the way I wrote it, but in what colours it made, and what;

Was being read between the lines....

Start on the story of the Choosh, and pick a special language, use the pen above the writing to pick up each word...and glowing, new, white words appear...

The first language I chose was Aramaic, because of Adalia. It involved the word Sedition, I didn't know what that word meant...Then Greek, then Chinese, some Japan...a lot of annoying Japan,:

I am a star! I drive the car!! I go far!!! The car is a star!!


And so on for some pages....

The Arabic was amazing to me. The Book and the Sword!! it began...The thief holds a dagger, he holds a book....


Kurt Cobain got involved


So many stories were coming to me, so quickly and with little of my own thought....


Molly and Ben and Eloise. Something off-key form the other books, a saga about three people in one couple, and that never stopped, I could always go back to the story of this threesome, if I was a little lost for words, of the naughty Ben who visits Priests, and then makes love on the beach, sings and defies, always wondering whether I am put-upon Eloise, if Polly is Molly...Molly is the bitch...Molly is out of order....

There was the Story of Our Little Sister...

"What shall we do for her??? Silver Palaces or Cedar???

WHAT do we do when she gets into the car, with the knife or the fork....

The book shone like the moonlight outside one night, and I heard many voices, women's voices,, I turned towards the window, still at the desk, as the words I had just written, actually danced in swirls in the air, and spelt;

I Love You...

"This is Elf Language!!!"

It was late so I went to sleep, I went to sleep...

Everything is dirty after that.

The second book, began to shine dull disgusting colours, a dead silver, a deep yellow, a black grey, a lime green, a dull red...the stories were all in the same vein, though I stayed away from translating this one....

I had no idea why this book had got so tainted, because I don't think I had shown it to anyone...

Anyway, that's all about why I'm trying to write in this blog, and rediscover some of the stories...

I'm tired...

Book

begun: Novel, History of Planet Jesus, beginning; the resistance, and ' Amaclut dies by the Sword' ;



a real history...

will be published as a hardback book, for exhibition

Alien Lands

this is concentrate.

"Go to Joyful."

---

"I am in your hair, I am in your Soul, I am in your eyes..."

Thinking how did;

the aliens (music MUSE-best guitairist, voted. new album about a man imaging a Totalitarian ? State, always that, Pink Floyd, hah. songs Crystallised by The XX...)

So,

My Museum is traditional, it is a stately home, with large windows filtering gold light, but always dark inside, there are bear-lizards with pink skin and purple spots, lots of butterfly wings designing, (for the kids) perhaps a little flying machine hanging from the ceiling, there I am in my chunky knits and long black skirts, long orange hair...trips to the sea...once I dreamt i was walking along a path across a cliff, much like the one at Loos, and I see dancing orcas in bright blue waters...

the dreams, the dreams are loose;

I still have German dreams, live on air Nazi dreams. I am always a nazi, and I always wonder why;

some mornings ago, I'm in a team, I have a white buttoned shirt (like the one in the Tarantino film) we are fighting some other Nazi's, me and a brother...I am trying to walk over a long machine in the middle of a factory (as seen in Max Payne) I'm sure I have convinced a man to go to God. I have lost a leg, I have cut my fingers, someone is trying to bandage my fingers ;BUT the oddest thing is the talk, it's HEIGHT Nazi, it's I am a Special Soul, a leader, I wake up with someone forcing a blue ink-stained finger into a wound, over and over again, bleeding blue ink pouring down...the talk...we've all been shot but we 'overcome the evil'

The TALK is a Nazi-Occupied other realm, a real world....

Another dream; I am with a girl at a messy train station i can fly, I fly over the traintracks but there are cables and fences in the way...she is black rags...we move to another scene, we go to a street in golden light, into the "The British Library! Let's find something special!" We walk down one aisle, then back to her home, her home is an underground cave, full of poor people, crowds of people, I think to buy her some sweets in the market, I am waking up, so I leave her a diamond under her pillow, in a little bed in the underground community, I say;

"This is like Gangs of New York! You are the Queen! I am the King!" She says:

"What does that mean? Explain? What mean't wake up?"

I say goodbye forever, until we meet in Heaven. She is wonder; She has the gem in her fingers, she says;

"This is Jewish, I was Jewish..."

---

In Black

Black It was me, crying we were in black, I told myself, in the lonely dark living room, that I was hearing demons, I looked they were flying in the sky, I shot one down, I use my breath, I say; "FREE!" and the leathery winged demons burn, they like fire, but still they are touched by my breath and die (anyone who encounters my breath dies!!)..I walked from bathroom to kitchen, I did that three times on sunday, I have a ring, it's magically made of silver, I have wedding rings and I have Crown rings, because one day the devil tried to grab the crowns, they each have an elvin description, yes! Just like Lord Of The Rings, Love Forever, one wedding ring is in mordern hebrew, ancient men wore the wedding ring on the first finger, left hand, the ring replied!! We are free! Every devil died...I explained to the people who heard, and they began to breakdown, everyone cried, I recieved a message from the western continent that the people were too hard to rule, so I replied; Just go out with instruments and play music, this will get everyone back to God, women got back to the feminine and the men felt high!...it worked!!

The rings are not magic by themselves, but they are kept safe...Then I told the people of Emenaty what had happened in the West, In the North, the story that I walked out into the streets in London dressed in a stripy pink and white dressinggown and cord blue slippers, Every part of the world was free excpet for the north, men had arrived in ships to the south, and it was Prince Egad, my son, who ruled, the Hebrew blood, began travelling north, but I tore the earth apart, and they could go no further, I walked across the land, and the chains fell from their arms, the demons fell, the Devil himself (I looked at it with a blind eye, and said, No) died...Houses appeared like magic, ploughs, musical instruments and clothes, the worst men turned into dogs, the world rose...a bridge appeared across the split earth, over the gullies...These were the stories I told Emenaty, and we were Joy!! The demons had come back because men were Pell (Hell)...Men were so dead, they cried; "Does Jesus die?" They felt we were killed, they were breaking down, I can feel young men shaking;

"We remember the devil, remember the devil..." What was the message? They thought too many men were crying, The Bride, that mean this young Juden woman, has freed life, why are the angels crying we are brute?? They said, we were Defied God, we never defied them here, they look at us, and tell us go...

I want to tell you men of God, some are so wnat/of/word? Strict if God, that they forget, they meet sin and cry men down, I've been doing, perhaps the same for too many months now, I have a marriage, but these last few months in London have felt a loss, and bad men have been killing me, and I have repeatedly cried even normal guys that greet me hath deifed, they are sooo see sin, they think we are fail...this place is/was the same in the garden of the other Rehab house, the garden is important, because so much happened there early spring, I was on a variety of medicated drugs, and I also, took to Heavenly Heroin, the police caught me and asked for the location of the fields, somewhere in the French kingdom, (Grandad, Louis 9th, and Catherine De Barra) Were I know I was too sin, meeting girls, drugs; "Modigiliani! modigliani !...(to call it heaven is nuts, It was needles)I wrote an interesting book, about Planet Emelbert, and dark and light angels, and drugs, and other strange stories...hhhmmm, continued

tune on the earsWithin Temptation

When You King?

Planet June!

I received a letter last night, in my dad's car on the way home...a girl wrote to Jesus, she said Kim loves Mummy's Art, I freaked!!! "Kim was a baby I had with a dirty man, and they sent me to Munich!! They wheeled me out of the camp because I looked blonde!!!"

She said; "I'm on Emenaty..." Being my child on Emenaty, mean't I had been on that planet, and if I had then, I was surely going to Hell, because that was what Planet June had once been, Hell, and I started crying, her voice was like a little silver star in the sky shining on my eyes and I forgot to listen, I cried that not listening would kill my soul, that it would slide lower and lower for not heeding the love, and I shook, and I muttered and I shook, "THEY PUT ME IN HELL!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL!! HELL!! HOW CAN I STILL BE GOD??!!" I said, this out loud, and at the same time, told my mum, we are Heaven...I went immediately to the bunkbed, and called back the star...I hear an American girl cry; "Mom!!" Kim told me about granny Hettie, I shone!!!! Hettie is the name of a girl I recalled, perhaps wrongly from the film, The Secret Garden, Hattie/or/Hettie/Henrietta the name of the ghost girl dressed in black clothes of mourning, that the main character meets in the film...We talked in German, I was a little slow, and I kept laughing even though I felt sooooo dead...I said Nanny is away travelling...unt (We favour the T instead of the D!! THe language is some kind of german interspersed with Spanish and of course we can all speak, Inglesh!) Unt you are Grandmutter's Bambta?? Unt you are in Heben?? Emenaty!! Well, I came back to Earth...Unt I went to Jerusalem, Unt Irushalem, the golden gate, the entrance to the temple that is blocked, because the main temple is gone and now it is Arabic, the entrance to the temple, Do you remember when we built the moskee? Yah? We have a few mosques on Emenaty, and Daddy-Nanny would ride his horse there, and sing the Adhan like God...Kim likes Nanny's Art!!??? Yah! I can see that painting, the black falling down the canvas on a green background like slime...Unt Granny Hettie married einer herren called Jesus??? Unt Kim is my bambta?? Unt Yah!! I love my cigarillos??!! Yah!! The beatniks!! Spanish!!!??? Ha,ha, cigarillos, I'm leaving to smoke,...Unt Uncle is a communista and he hates kindergarten, hahaha, but is liebe Gotts, and he wants to God, he is a good herren, unt YES!! We had a music player, I remember, called a gramophone with the whirlywhirly handle, hehehe...hehehehe...yah, Hettie sounds so American!!! I'm Heben!!! Heben!!! Heben!!! King for Heaven!!! Kim!! Nanny reads Kipling!! Kim, go to sleep, are you going to sleep?? Gut Nacht...Mummy and I are coming back in 3 weeks!! We can bring Nanny Hannah!!! Yah!! Liebe du...Gut Nacht, Kim, gut nacht, back in 3 weeks...."

continued

The Blacks; the whitemen keep hearing, we're blacks, we are on PLANET JUNE, (because Lars killed the devil, in the month of June, met Polly in the month of June...) I tell them it's the naughty grandchildren and that it meant, 'how are we in souls??' I laugh to remember it, fat white women getting aggressive, lawyers meetings, how I'm the one with the right to say, MEETING ADJOURNED!! I have a castle, I have a wolfhound, my horse is special, it has a purple pink colour, the purple feels well on the saddle, I have a white saddle, the reins are ropes of several colours, the pink is a jump!! The average wage a day is £95, a pack of tobacco costs a farthing, we have old-fashioned ploughs, old printers, and we hand out mosaics that can be stuck into walls, like Barcelonas!!

Everyone, everyone in that generation arrived in HEAVEN!!! The skies were red, one day they turned blue, the grass was red too...I took some friends too, and some strangers, an Iranian Jewish Orthodox girl, who wakes up today and realises she has spent a life, married to an angel, and she has angel babies, another Jewish guy who worked in government, and wrote books on sins and good deeds, and taught the goyishe about jewish love...and the armies of angels!

Lars Shalom

"He was buried in the soil at night..." They didn't have the love to bury Him right, so they dusted Him with thin soil...
'alvar lacht night'
No-one cried Him dead, but He died...In a maze...Hikari (light) or Hara Kiri??

Too much light, affecting minds, killing mine...In this, everything is night...That's what the woman was trapped in, he kills himself, he leaves a wake of dead women and children around Him...'alvar nacht ded'...It was still night, they repeated dead! dead! dead!

Alvar! [ Hinduism. (in southern India) a holy person of the Vaishnava sect. ](Devotion to Vishnu)

"If one woman in here cries me dead, we ...all...die..."

Purushottama: Being supreme, is...too...hot!

Ach magadu. They cried me dead, we all died.