The Mad-House

"Oh, Gosh!"

"Sharrup, I'm writing..."

---

The Mad-House:

Duty was; When the Interviewer thought I was Red, she winked...

"I am putting you in light, you are, enter, a mad home..."

Scream!!


"I HATE YOU!!" she smiled: "Now, we are dead..."


The madness of a 1930's home, the girls were sparkles, 

"OH, nonnnnnnnn! You look, Light!"


I screamed, I ran through corridor...I said: 


"Start This, and Dead." I said:


"I'm going!"


I ripped apart, a curtain and said;


"This is Jewish!"

I took scissors, and forlorn, and stationed my mind in circles;


"Right...I'm going..."


--


I clapped, and sang:


"I am Jesus!" 


I punched a peanut. I ran through the house, and took clothing. I turned into a man;


"Right...Now, get work..."


I ran to an office;


"Nein nien, Hail! Hail! I vant a job!"


They gasped:


"You have Aryan face."


"Do you want special? Or sort?"


"I'll join, Effer..." 


--- I lifted my chin, clasped my hands, crossed my legs;


"I vannnnnnnnnt, S.S."


"Blimey!! SS is hardest!!" 


"I know.... And I sin. Piss on my face and I will King." 


They wrote:


"He has....a look like lemon. A good King...get him to Kraut. Write,: came in; Him."


I growled in the office; I growled with long hands clasped, and long legs crossed:


"I am waiting."

--- 


In 1935, I was cross, In the fifties I was a Star. 


---


I applied for breeding, on the grounds of wanting sons and daughters, because I was weird and wanted weird children. I wrote to Hitler, I wrote I was Zwitter. But I wanted no Hell from men...A card arrived that said: 


"We do not need to see your c***k...we are going to select, you have the look, and you're a beautiful pig...Welcome to Lebensborn..."


---


I shot a Jew. I felt mad. I saw they were going to shoot, he was nearly mad, "Lover! You can't win!" I saw he was going to get a worse fate, I shot him...


---


The pretty girls shone. They were wow! "And you can't lack!" They were all around 16. I was 19 and a half...


One looked down at the floor, shyly;


"Would you like me?"


"No, no, I don't vant..."


"We can have a family..."


"No, no, I die..."


---


"Keep her..."

I can't! have...I am brutal! I know girl...I tell them I'm girl and they lie. 


Girl; "Why can you?..." 


Another Girl: "Have you got half-blood?"


Me: "Yes, I'm zwitter...are you alright??" 


Girl; "I like this...give want."


---



I took over, it's obvious...

The Dumping Ground of the Universe

Emelbert, home of the rat-people...

There was an influx of english-men, demons like little women with red and black and yellow tentacles, and the terrible ruling Goyim...

I choose to give the patients in the hospital "Fly..." There were grades, levels, and colour codes. I learnt the colours before I was locked away.

There was the colour fluorescent blue for Emelbert...

One night, standing in my sister's room looking out over the garden while the whole house was asleep, I heard a crowd of voices. It was something to do with giving Finland, powerful light...(seriously)...they didn't want the light, and they threw it back violently, the gardens to the north-west, lit up neon blue, a huge mass, a wave of light began to lift over the fences, and shot like solid square towards the window, I ran out of the room, the bathroom door was just in front of me, I went into the bathroom, and the blue light screamed through the tiny window, I ducked, and ran out...

I was trapped on the small landing, and each of those doors glowed full of this light, It was sharp like a knife, I almost fell on the floor of the landing, with no where to hide....it looked dangerous, sharp as glass.

I learnt the colours when I walked through town, to the shopping centre, different colours were flying through the air, merging into passersby, into houses, even a bright blue light into an big, slobbering dog.

During the day of learning colours, when Satan had already appeared in the town, or rather, kept itself in my room, or when I went out for tobacco tried to shoot balls of flame from the sky...stuck a cat monster that purred to me, stuck somewhere on the bar of my borrowed bicycle...the Babylon Whore...("...the Devil's girlfriend...) A cartoon picture of Lars Shalom, meeting the devil's girlfriend on the top of some stairs...so I knew I had fallen into Hell...

and I called everyone in town to fight...I saw how people were wearing their chosen colours, a tall white man with a skinhead, in a stripy black and yellow ochre jumper...women and girls in pink, one in lilac, African men in dark blue, some in green....

How it got on radio, and made men say disgusting things...

The family had gone away to Spain, which was where I sent them, after some days, of the arrival of the 'Roman Emperor', I had already moved the kid out of her room, with a sleeping bag, as the Emperor was inside one of the walls, and I had to keep the rest of the family in a safe light...One day, they got too loud, slamming every door...a kind of toll outside in the road, the cars passing by...I said it was a Toll-Gate for those who would be saved or not...

I hated the 'cat' on the bicycle the most, because no matter what I did I couldn't get rid of, I rode all through one newly built town, through chalk quarry's and to my aunt's house, everything was dead, there were zombie witches cackling in her garden, though they were invisible, I couldn't shrug them off...I spent hours in her garden, smoking and smoking...then I ran a bath, the bathroom seemed the safest place, I couldn't tell her what I was see-ing, and the taps went on and off, and I spent most of the day doing that, sure that this time, instead of exposing my skin to burns, it might just keep Satan off me...I didn't get in the bath eventually, and went to sit on the spare bed in her library, when:

I spotted the 'black book'...just mixed in between, several other odd books, Japanese myths, Anthropology books about menstruation, a dire book "probably by" by Sackville-West I'd tried reading before..,

The Crowley book.

Dead, dead, dead....That book.

I was dead if I didn't take it down and threw it or burnt it...I tired to persuade her baby-son over days, to get rid of it...

When I left, and rode back up the winding road beside the chalk quarry, with the cat still on the ******** bike;

The bike jack-knifed, it just broke apart in the middle, and the tyres were down. The chain had fallen off.

A little white car drove up the empty road, and stopped beside:

It was the social worker manager from the evil house up the hill, that used to be my art club, the place were I continually drew copies of skulls, from my original copy of a real live human skull, and I like the art-club teacher, because she was gay...

The social worker had been looking for me...I was miles away from my parents house, so assumed somewhere had telephoned the house-up-the-hill...

I hadn't yet got back to my new flat, which was being refurbished after a fire months before...When I got back to the house, my aunt arrived, in my sisters room, I had destroyed the bunk beds, moving the slats, away, so that I wouldn't be sucked into the portal called Hell, above my lower bunk...the little bible (which would evoke many demons, because there is evil in the book too) was resting on the edge of a slat on the lower bunk, throw there, of which the mattress had been put on the floor, and there were big burn holes in the mattress, and bowls of soggy dried cornflakes everywhere.

She did something astonishing;

She leant over me, and shouted at me, as I sat kneeling on the floor...it was shocking to me,because I could see she knew what was happening but;

"I... she was wearing boots...."

---

So, I learnt that we were put in levels, and Emelbert had become one of those levels, the lowest of course, a little higher and safer than damnation...

---

I met a girl on the benches, she was a ghost, and she lay in my lap, I had met her before, from the War...when I was trapped in the ward, I would walk down the halls, up and down, I began to imagine where I would "Fly" to, I began to practise, I spat on the floor, and I high-stepped, I did it in front of her, forgetting I was being watched...later that night, a woman I had sent to Emelbert came into the dormitory where I had woken up...

She had gone to:

"A terrible place, while I heard you went to a party..." (sometimes I hear where people have gone as though there is a sound-window above their beds....)

We had hired a jazz-band for our wedding, me and the girl who had spat on my shoe...

War-Time

Hope.

I studied. I became a hitler. I read secret pamphlets. The pamphlets were about sicko. They cowed. I read hitler.

One.

They were special. They said; we are Higher. I liked cool. There were stories about Vikings. 

The 1st one: 

"We seek Satan."


I was in love with Hatred.


I went to school...I was a fuhrer, especially an Untsharfurher of the Reich. I did this by school. 


When I arrived I was in a circle. I fell on the floor, and crumpled. I would like to say I touched the ground like a cat. I was clothes less, and astonished.


"Oh God. This is dark..."


I got given a table.


"You." nod, nod, "...are Jewish..."


"Nein, nein." shake head, shake...


"What do you want?" A hand on a piece of paper.


("I want. To, Fight. You!")


"I think I'm dead...I've lost my mind...My mum and Daddy are dead."

I had landed in the brusque. I worried, I sheltered in a storm, a large luckless storm, full of fool, darkest rain, blank tiers of fell-storms. Luckless.


I hurried through the streets.


"Find a girl, find a girl!"


I found two happy kids, who giggled.

"Lady, you are fit. We help you..."


"Help me. The fucking pig burnt me!!!"


---


They led me to a Kraut. He said:


"F***ing Hell! You are God!"

the Irish luck and the flared hair, red gold, but only in sunlight, or an electric light...the Irish mind, the the inter planetary red...Irish temperament...IRISH...leprechaun hair...big giant leprechaun, horns hidden in the hair...hooves, furry legs...


The first book, made me 'gosh!'...It was scientific, it sheoled jews, they were superior, the jews were superior and they wanted a war...they "Satan Luck..." ...we can only hope...


"We are wise to War...We are Luck."


I got the book from a woman...


The Interviewer was in tears:


"Your mum and daddy are dead? Vhat foul!!"


"I help you...get a suit...get a memory...give us Luck. You have entered fuhrer..."


YOU> 


HAVE.


ENTERED FUHRER...


here we go, f*****g pig, here we gooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! 

BE VICTORIOUS!!

----


I got joined to parties. I got special prize, a suit, a luck.

I was 19. Nineteen in Soul. I fell door after door. I had been asleep in the mental hospital. People all over the dormitories were interplanetary travelling, an old grumpy woman was landing in a little town of Amwell, demanding to leave her day-time clothes on, every time she slept, I knew Amwell, well, it was full of huge wooden American houses...and a friend.

I flew through a dark room, falling like drowning in water, shining doors moved all around me, I went into a door, that gasped:

"We are in need of a Messiah..." a whisper gasp:


"Help Us..."

I chose that door.

Because I was sick of falling.

"Just let me out..."

"This is it!! I'm going through! I'm going through!!"

---

The book that led. It made me think, I was special, I wanted to crime. "F*****g Hell! I am Red!"

Getting a home was Hell. I got put in a dormitory in Munich. I was a mad-girl, but special, because I looked like a King. I decided to transform, I burnt bits. I had it all shaved off...I joined Munich...I got a seat:


"Welcome to the Talk."

---


I begged. "Will you help me?" "I am Hitler. I need showy light, I want Reich. Give me a job."

I got thundered.

I blanked out hatred. I joined the pips. The Army. I was UntSharFuhrer. (Sargent)

---

When I was a Dictator

I went to the terraced house, the place, I walked through grabbing at my hair, and screaming...in 2002, one day before I was hospitalised. The skies outside were very grey that day, night came quickly, I peered through the keyhole of the front door, and saw a murderer, getting in a car, and everyone in the street, was hiding, the street is mostly, Pakistanis, and some white houses, with British and English flags in the windows, we were all hiding because it was the end of the world...

I knew we were heading for a nuclear showdown, we were gathered in Mannie's kitchen, I was going to married, to a chinese boy...this was some days before the end of the world, I was waiting for him, and his parents to appear, that day was sunny, and Nanny came in from the garden with a broom, and gave me a gypsy kiss..."You're married!"

"Where is he? I'm waiting for his parents..."

They didn't arrive.

.Because I was experiencing Time, as though I was in a different dimension, sleeping daytime, then waking through the night-time, days span, I was awake for five days long, cars were moving at top speeds around the house...I saw myself walking the street, form the bed-room window, I ran out into the alley with no shoes or socks...everyone in the street was welcoming me as I walked to Mannies house, for some rest...we sat at different ends of the sofa, with bright sunshine coming in softly through the curtains, soft guitar music was being played, the tea was perfumed, and the cigarettes were soothing...I was madly in Love, and I had no idea why...it was the most magical day.

The night of the nuclear showdown: Mannie was sitting at her special place, in the kitchen, at the left of the table, in front of the fridge, my 'nest' aunty was there with her teenage son, my cousin, the ex had followed me there, I sat at the table, Aunty's face was beaming, (there were there to keep me soul) the ex sat silently, my cousin kept his hands on my head, and shoulders, I said he had given me a blessing, the rest of them silent, to give me time...I couldnt cope, we were sitting in grey, night time came back swiftly, and I walked quickly through the hall, screaming and grabbing and pulling at my hair...Mannie exclaimed:

"Jesus was a woman!"

That made me groan, more, loud wailing groaning...Mum and Dad and the kids, were dead, in this house, my aunty and cousin, and the others, with me, were the only people left on earth. I screamed like a banshee!

"You are just like Mum!"

---

Yesterday, I arrived back at the terraced house, I thought to remember the terror, the ghosts, the cats that would keep their eyes hooked on mine.

"When was this house built?"

I remembered the Armageddon, 1945...(war diary)

1900's

"I came back here, when I had invaded England, I bought this house, and lived with a woman, the double-decker buses, were black and silver chrome, the streets were filled with bicycles..."

Mannie, was standing at the back-door entrance, puffing on a little cigar and holding a glass of red wine in her hand...she was wearing casual clothes, t-shirt, jeans, but when I looked, I saw a pair of just above the ankle, chunky, black boots, with thick straps around them...

"Oh my God! You're that bird, that was having a bath in Hitler's house!"

I turned round and walked through the kitchen, put the kettle and tried to remember..."So, this was why I was see-ing Nuclear bombing, America was trying to hit us...I was Fuhrer...why that woman? I lived here, because it's special, oh god? Was she violent? Let me remember?"

I made a joke; "I must have stationed a gunner in the halfway to protect me from
the proles..."

I went into the garden, she said:

"Look at that little tree..."

"Er, yeah, that one' s not me..."

something had happened to her, I gave her a cigarette, and we sat on the bench, together...she was being weird, she got out a little silver ring, with a purple stone...she looked at all my fingers, trying to fit, then she put in on my third finger, left hand, something had become love, I freaked...

I looked at the garden;

"There are small white-haired girls in black, lying all over the lawn and they're drunk...heavy metal..."

She wanted help, from me with pushing the tree-trunk against the wall and tying it up;

"Yeah, look don't talk to me now, this is all a bit too dyke...you need to dress girl..."

My tremendously tall friend walked into the kitchen...I was back at the kettle:

"Look, it's spooky in this house, you think? I'm remembering what sells..."

"What was she doing here? Was she gardening in the garden?? She said, it was shit and boring...I don't like that...the anger was so forceful...I forget now..."

SO I spent the rest of the night, at the table, staring at it and dying. Then I went out to the bench again...walked off again, realised, that walking from her aura-area' was making me sick, and highly stressed, I turned round and sat back with her...

"Nan...we'll have to be tied like gypsys...like their marriage, lots of string all round our bodies..."

"America, dropped an A-bomb purposely, over this target the house..."

"Snails, there are snails every where, they are slimy, Save ME!! Manky, if they touch me I'm sick..."

I must have lost a lot of hair, because I see a scary skinny little bald man, that's yah..."

There was nothing to do then, in the living room, just sit on a chair staring...I think the woman left me...

 "I saw her picture in an art magazine...sorry."

"You've poisoned these potatoes." She said

"Do you know I like loving?"

"You look sooo high..."

"My face is so dirty, let me think..."

She was trying to pass at the back-door, I saw a huge, weird chunky man in a blue sweater, with a woman's head...I said:

"Oh, Look, Not You! Thank You!...no way, you are a brute man at my party...no entrance through the door here..."

We went to the pub, and played darts.

The First

Strange new games with computer-drawing, this first one is part of a dream-story written here, in the dregs, about world war two...

I like the colours of 1940's inside houses, visited one nice room today, with a very pretty rug made from  pieces of rag, and a great creamy green everywhere, wooden radios. etc.


hmmmm.

well.

happy yellow, and light blue.

Lars and The Books

I like to think I have a Life...I have lost the best book; one I wrote in Rehab, I forget the year, but it was early summer, the garden was huge, with a smoking shed at the end, and a little fish pond...I was taking different types of drugs for different mental illnesses, and I added to those with some stuff magic, the round red pills got me hyper, and I added to that, wibbly woof, a Planet Jesus drug, and some little dark blue blocks called American LSD, or acid something...never touch the Dab-alien, a dark grey evil-looking powder...

So I began the first page of six hundred pages, tied together with string, which I got with the pads from a trip to the post office as I was collecting benefits there with the staff. 

The first page, was about Amorelia, it went from a description of a Choosh dog, which I first saw, in the corridor, my wife holding it's lead, it's an actual reptile shaped like a whippet, and very dangerous, that she had one on a lead, shocked me, that she lay on a bed, in the rehab conservatory (no sitting in the living room, no TV) like the image on my dark blue t-shirt, an image of a woman with long flowing hair, holding a sword, floating around her, shields wearing the Union Jack, faded through red, to orange to a green...the model....cool...it went from the description of the Choosh dog, to some kind of Burrough's like, ritual mourning...then, at the turn of page 2, became Jewish women, calling me as they were dying...where I guessed, in a camp somewhere in Germany...I would make a great journalist, I write as it happens, and I didn't give my self time to let in any type of emotion...

I was aware that lack of emotion was the most disgusting crime...the worse crime.

I wrote what she said when she got home, and carried on with my book.

There are two books, of around 300 pages each. The second book started with a story of two homosexual men, sitting in a garden, one of them spots a gang of gorillas, and chimps, and there are some sort of jokes in it, about invisible monkeys. But the second book got tainted...

I had extra books. I had a red thin hardback book, containing songs, the songs were in Punjabi, they were Holy Songs, for some reason I already knew that, Hindus Indian's, worship God by making and singing songs...It was a translation from the depths of the 1st book, and contained songs of Chariots, and Horses and Swords and Worship.

There were chapters, containing conversations with a Demon, whom I mistook for a girl, until I heard:

"Wear a Purple Bra...."

"You want me to wear a purple bra??? I'm writing the blood of David is dead....do you  really want me to get a bra???"

Lucky for me, the book was more important, than the serpent sex, so I stayed at the desk...I had a little room, with a chair and a desk, I stood a little out of the window, with a foot resting on the roof, perched on the window sill, at night, to smoke roll-ups from butts of roll ups, from the butts of roll ups...Once, when I crept out into the garden, late a tonight, I saw, a river full of reads, and the most frightening hairy orange arms, reaching into the water...a Neanderthal, I expected, or, "that thing...." and I dreamed about the little baby on the basket, floating along the hallway, on the end of my long robes...

I wrote down the lyrics of the songs PJ Harvey was working, in the dark,big scribbles and little mashed up words:


"The Wave Winds are Billowing!!!"

After her lyrics; I wrote about a man watching a concerto of violins...

Next thing I know, I'm on top of a cliff, with King Gray, in Emelbert, in the last war, watching for the dragons demons flying towards us...We are just about to die, and he tells me he loves me, I say I love you too, I die grotesquely, I am burnt to a crisp by a dragon flame...: "Only her feet left..."

Next, I'm wearing muffles over my ears, with a roll-up in my teeth, in the snow...I'm disguised as a boy, and I'm in a Russian Gulag in Siberia...I work there...And the only Russian I know is "Dah..." Then I'm found somewhere by Russian soldiers, discussing Americans, The Americans are God, are you God...are you good...don't care about Americans, no good...then a Jewish man, watching us says he will take me away and marry me, before anything bad happens....

Then the worse book. The second book, was becoming total Hell, not in the way I wrote it, but in what colours it made, and what;

Was being read between the lines....

Start on the story of the Choosh, and pick a special language, use the pen above the writing to pick up each word...and glowing, new, white words appear...

The first language I chose was Aramaic, because of Adalia. It involved the word Sedition, I didn't know what that word meant...Then Greek, then Chinese, some Japan...a lot of annoying Japan,:

I am a star! I drive the car!! I go far!!! The car is a star!!


And so on for some pages....

The Arabic was amazing to me. The Book and the Sword!! it began...The thief holds a dagger, he holds a book....


Kurt Cobain got involved


So many stories were coming to me, so quickly and with little of my own thought....


Molly and Ben and Eloise. Something off-key form the other books, a saga about three people in one couple, and that never stopped, I could always go back to the story of this threesome, if I was a little lost for words, of the naughty Ben who visits Priests, and then makes love on the beach, sings and defies, always wondering whether I am put-upon Eloise, if Polly is Molly...Molly is the bitch...Molly is out of order....

There was the Story of Our Little Sister...

"What shall we do for her??? Silver Palaces or Cedar???

WHAT do we do when she gets into the car, with the knife or the fork....

The book shone like the moonlight outside one night, and I heard many voices, women's voices,, I turned towards the window, still at the desk, as the words I had just written, actually danced in swirls in the air, and spelt;

I Love You...

"This is Elf Language!!!"

It was late so I went to sleep, I went to sleep...

Everything is dirty after that.

The second book, began to shine dull disgusting colours, a dead silver, a deep yellow, a black grey, a lime green, a dull red...the stories were all in the same vein, though I stayed away from translating this one....

I had no idea why this book had got so tainted, because I don't think I had shown it to anyone...

Anyway, that's all about why I'm trying to write in this blog, and rediscover some of the stories...

I'm tired...

Germany

pyramid sing- radiohead

a white haired woman in arms.

"Soul, soul, let's kiss like they're dead, "

" wei vant to fight. they're dead...!..."

I was see-ing the highest lights, I was kruerk von abad, I soared into hatred....think, think 'doing'.;

a jewish soul in a german bride, you are white heaven. That woman wanted God, and so did you and so, you were King.

1. you thought you were time-travel, so you wanted to collect photos, clothing, trinckets...wicked, you went wicked, the photo, of you gasping, open mouth full of blood, in the arms of a weirdly and why, smiling woman, not lovingly holding you, but a little like she was showing her pet-dog, blood flowing down his face, holding him up to smile at the camera also, like smiling and exhibiting you for the camera, as though you were her happy-child, not a thin, choking, blood-covered victim, of a beating, of a beating for a photo collection.

And you wanted revenge, you wanted to make sure she was in hell, and then you saw her shake and gasp, and you wanted her out of hell, you died wickedly.

You said, let her sleep, go where-ever she is meant to go. just forget, but you were in shock, not in shock of the photo, which had to be looked at, intellectually, "that was hurting me, power, power to avenge..." You where in shock, of what was happening to her soul.

You said: "Have you got the photos? Throw everything there away now...."

Because before you wanted that collection, you thought of it alot, more than that, you wouldnt think of anything else, like Hero,like a spell of heights...

 just that weird uniform.

War Diary

"Shit!! They're gone, all dead, the fuhrer died...I'm in bed...he died in night, the bunker is red, I know the truth, eight men were killed. I saw what happened, I'm grateful, Eva fell...they died in the night, it was jew, the jews killed...everyone died, I found a body, it was burning...they fell in fire...now, I'm cool, I'm cool in light, I will work...I can find Heaven...I will look...I can't believe they're heathen...I'm cool...just cool."

"The fire, it was soul...they burnt in bed...I know what is sick, to say, that man loved girl...the only bunker is bed..."

"I'm freak! Everyone dead! I'm alone in freak! This is the beginning..."

"I've infiltrated, I have become Fuhrer. I read every freak, I am going to find a light...I walked to the centre of Hell...Now I am King..."

"Jewish, I can bring back Jewish!"

"See-ing is easy. Bringing God."

"They screamed, I laugh...burned in bed...they were moving through clouds, and it's a waste, a waste because I am King...every day gets His...I want spite...('Kill them Now') Release...(this is a release of magic)...two burned, I like it...Hell is night. I've killed."

"I loved Heaven, I loved Height. This is Heaven, I have become, I have become Love-Fuhrer. Swell..."

"Someone died, let them, we all die."

"Are we Religious? I think Religion died, I regret not living Bride. I needed to have wit. I was circumsised...regret...living fascist is hurting everything, why can't they see I love??"

'How They Died:'

"They were spinning; Bride! Bride! Telling everyone we're dead, so cool. The Germans are crying, dead.

First, he sang; 'Why are we Bitch?' "Because we're Fire." I wrote Heaven, I wrote into the first man who cried. His name was Nietzsche. Fire.

Dreams of Germany

I contest that I'm in God, and I also I believe that I am damned and the Devil shows me why:

DREAM:

Picture: a nice warm night, in a garden at the back of some flats, nearing a walkway, on a new housing estate, an african woman is sitting on the wall, we are in England, that's apparent, a jewish girl wearing dark blue overalls with her dark brown hair flowing down, is sitting on the grass, I'm a man, I'm wearing a chunky coat, it's important that I watch the Jewish girl, because, she is mine, Germany is in England, another african girl arrives, just as I explain we have to leave the area...

Switch to a kind of hospice I and the jewish girl have entered, after a little walk through a dark lit street, there are many soldiers and men around, no women...the hospice is full of benches, it may be a train station, it has a little reception behind a wall, and pillars on each side, my wife walks on ahead to find a seat...I am a soldier, I ask for a bandanna, of the german flag, red yellow and black, with a black swastika, because I want my jewish wife to wear it round her arm, I'm HIGH on Nazism, I talk with them for some 20 minutes, though I am awake, in my bed, and I am in LOVE with my memorabilia, in love with Nazism, I would also like a little brooch for my wife...

I walk to her, unfolding the bandanna which becomes a huge flag...we greet some men, who know I'm sure! that she is jewish, but they like us, and walk with me I think at this I notice an african girl, but an african girl in a ghost, talking to us,

We enter a tiny cupboard room, with some friends already there, I find my wife sitting on some boxes with our few possessions, and tell her to try to use the huge flag as an armband...she won't turn to me...THEN

A shaky German voice begins singing, as though on a very loud radio...IN my bedroom!!

And just before a black plane with a silver swastika on each wing, still the man singing, and such heightened fear and expectation, the plane turns, looks small enough to fit in the building, and lands in the room, then disappears...gunshotssound!! I see a man point a gun through the door, and shot a man in front of him! I hear gunshots everywhere...

My wife and I realise we are the only ones alive, and that it was mass suicide...becuaause

HITLER has arrived dressed in black, holding a black cane, walking over the rubble of the building, and the reason for the suicide is that this complete incarnation of the devil is something ssssssoooooo frightening to face, even for german men, we are still alive in the cupboard, we know we are dead, AND the man is still singing a woeful german dirge, and I am singing along as I turn out of my bed I can hear the song in my bedroom, and my wife is silent, sitting there with her back turned to me, looking at nothing...as I leave the dream...

And a few hours later I think of it, and think, was it? :

"An interactive movie?? Could anyone be that sick??"

The German Reich

"It is good to want. What do you want? We want Reich, we are third, the first meant lover, the second is a race of dead, the third is reached.
I want to hope. We have eleven worlds. The world is Reich, the first was brought upon by Abel (Abel and Cain) Abel men want.The first Reich is a fable, the myth of the King is well, the myth began by seeing Jesus, Look how we light! The Cain brought up men who Reich, they cried; We are Liar!! We want the Reich. Because 'our Reich' is hope...we looked at Lover, and we want. Das Engelstein ist Hailter Liebe! Vie unt meiner liebe?, das Gott ist einer Gut. Das England hast Holy Reich, vas ist! Das engel spich hast vant, mihekelstein (ancient german for 'see light' translate as 'we doth want-')---Ins Herz schließen, Gott hast liebe, Ich Gott glauben, see this voice, the angel is voice, Das engel hast das begeistern ach liebe (acht damen, varcht, (heed, the woman who doth want love) liebe, 'blachspeigel' (Hear me!-) ist Gott...
Speigel, das engelet vorstufe deiner speigel...(something like we be the angels, be like a mirror to the angels!!)

Fur dich, einer emblem ist

(A spizzle because I hear german in english. It's about the Angels, and bringing angel love to women, I run through this off-the-mark-see bwlow)

continued

Einer emblem ist a special hope in Gods, it resembles the love of Gods, his love surrounds us, and he embraces us in his arms. Meiner Kaiser ist ----exam ---sprechen! Meiner engel ---- diener herren ach welt liebe,---- haben ar ze Kreigverbreichen---the men want world-love,--- they are warcriminals....(mixed with yiddish-???-)

Dat damen ziemen acht liebe, ist gut. Var das engels hast hoher liebe!! Damat de herren mangel ziemen!!! Acht haben das licht, einer liebsten ach diener herren!!! Das ist gut. Acht diener herren haben das schul, acht diener herren ziemen diener liebe du Juden!!! Das ist die engel licht einer Gotten lacht!! (that is the angel that made God laugh!

man! the words I'm hearing! Ken-hebrew-for yes! Spen-Urdu-for spain!! Away!!! Away!!