The Dumping Ground of the Universe

Emelbert, home of the rat-people...

There was an influx of english-men, demons like little women with red and black and yellow tentacles, and the terrible ruling Goyim...

I choose to give the patients in the hospital "Fly..." There were grades, levels, and colour codes. I learnt the colours before I was locked away.

There was the colour fluorescent blue for Emelbert...

One night, standing in my sister's room looking out over the garden while the whole house was asleep, I heard a crowd of voices. It was something to do with giving Finland, powerful light...(seriously)...they didn't want the light, and they threw it back violently, the gardens to the north-west, lit up neon blue, a huge mass, a wave of light began to lift over the fences, and shot like solid square towards the window, I ran out of the room, the bathroom door was just in front of me, I went into the bathroom, and the blue light screamed through the tiny window, I ducked, and ran out...

I was trapped on the small landing, and each of those doors glowed full of this light, It was sharp like a knife, I almost fell on the floor of the landing, with no where to hide....it looked dangerous, sharp as glass.

I learnt the colours when I walked through town, to the shopping centre, different colours were flying through the air, merging into passersby, into houses, even a bright blue light into an big, slobbering dog.

During the day of learning colours, when Satan had already appeared in the town, or rather, kept itself in my room, or when I went out for tobacco tried to shoot balls of flame from the sky...stuck a cat monster that purred to me, stuck somewhere on the bar of my borrowed bicycle...the Babylon Whore...("...the Devil's girlfriend...) A cartoon picture of Lars Shalom, meeting the devil's girlfriend on the top of some stairs...so I knew I had fallen into Hell...

and I called everyone in town to fight...I saw how people were wearing their chosen colours, a tall white man with a skinhead, in a stripy black and yellow ochre jumper...women and girls in pink, one in lilac, African men in dark blue, some in green....

How it got on radio, and made men say disgusting things...

The family had gone away to Spain, which was where I sent them, after some days, of the arrival of the 'Roman Emperor', I had already moved the kid out of her room, with a sleeping bag, as the Emperor was inside one of the walls, and I had to keep the rest of the family in a safe light...One day, they got too loud, slamming every door...a kind of toll outside in the road, the cars passing by...I said it was a Toll-Gate for those who would be saved or not...

I hated the 'cat' on the bicycle the most, because no matter what I did I couldn't get rid of, I rode all through one newly built town, through chalk quarry's and to my aunt's house, everything was dead, there were zombie witches cackling in her garden, though they were invisible, I couldn't shrug them off...I spent hours in her garden, smoking and smoking...then I ran a bath, the bathroom seemed the safest place, I couldn't tell her what I was see-ing, and the taps went on and off, and I spent most of the day doing that, sure that this time, instead of exposing my skin to burns, it might just keep Satan off me...I didn't get in the bath eventually, and went to sit on the spare bed in her library, when:

I spotted the 'black book'...just mixed in between, several other odd books, Japanese myths, Anthropology books about menstruation, a dire book "probably by" by Sackville-West I'd tried reading before..,

The Crowley book.

Dead, dead, dead....That book.

I was dead if I didn't take it down and threw it or burnt it...I tired to persuade her baby-son over days, to get rid of it...

When I left, and rode back up the winding road beside the chalk quarry, with the cat still on the ******** bike;

The bike jack-knifed, it just broke apart in the middle, and the tyres were down. The chain had fallen off.

A little white car drove up the empty road, and stopped beside:

It was the social worker manager from the evil house up the hill, that used to be my art club, the place were I continually drew copies of skulls, from my original copy of a real live human skull, and I like the art-club teacher, because she was gay...

The social worker had been looking for me...I was miles away from my parents house, so assumed somewhere had telephoned the house-up-the-hill...

I hadn't yet got back to my new flat, which was being refurbished after a fire months before...When I got back to the house, my aunt arrived, in my sisters room, I had destroyed the bunk beds, moving the slats, away, so that I wouldn't be sucked into the portal called Hell, above my lower bunk...the little bible (which would evoke many demons, because there is evil in the book too) was resting on the edge of a slat on the lower bunk, throw there, of which the mattress had been put on the floor, and there were big burn holes in the mattress, and bowls of soggy dried cornflakes everywhere.

She did something astonishing;

She leant over me, and shouted at me, as I sat kneeling on the floor...it was shocking to me,because I could see she knew what was happening but;

"I... she was wearing boots...."

---

So, I learnt that we were put in levels, and Emelbert had become one of those levels, the lowest of course, a little higher and safer than damnation...

---

I met a girl on the benches, she was a ghost, and she lay in my lap, I had met her before, from the War...when I was trapped in the ward, I would walk down the halls, up and down, I began to imagine where I would "Fly" to, I began to practise, I spat on the floor, and I high-stepped, I did it in front of her, forgetting I was being watched...later that night, a woman I had sent to Emelbert came into the dormitory where I had woken up...

She had gone to:

"A terrible place, while I heard you went to a party..." (sometimes I hear where people have gone as though there is a sound-window above their beds....)

We had hired a jazz-band for our wedding, me and the girl who had spat on my shoe...

The 90 Yegs

"Can you help me? I can't be bothered. I think I've done it. 'It's' dead!"

I didn't reply to Emelbert, until I decided to listen to voices. They were being invaded by Satan. I had to Help. I grabbed my head, without moving, sat on the edge of the bed, and willed a nano-second prayer. Black woe, flowed around my head, I willed Satan away by feeling. I have done it before, it's easy, cry out a Love, and it screams, I pushed all the demons back into the Fire.

"We were in It, for 90 Yegs!!"

He couldn't press the fingers against the piano. He sighed and turned from it.

The Hasid Problem

I've started being dressed mad. Like, they need help.

I've got about enough weddings planned for me, to last week, cutting off the weekend.

I only came , to,  help.

Now, I'm being dressed madly, when I look down at my feet, the "beautiful jewish" white socks appear on my feet, black...shoes.

I'm wondering through the train stations,

and I'm donned,

a big square furry hat on my head.

I only wanted to help, I didn't reaslise the whole Hassidim (jewish) check, would stop me.

And give me five girl-brides.

I tap-dance through the room; pretend:

hopping; "I'm King rabbi!!"

I had work for Emelbert, and I had work, with

Rav Abraham.

"Like...the BIG rabbi....the first one, yeah!"

Lars and The Books

I like to think I have a Life...I have lost the best book; one I wrote in Rehab, I forget the year, but it was early summer, the garden was huge, with a smoking shed at the end, and a little fish pond...I was taking different types of drugs for different mental illnesses, and I added to those with some stuff magic, the round red pills got me hyper, and I added to that, wibbly woof, a Planet Jesus drug, and some little dark blue blocks called American LSD, or acid something...never touch the Dab-alien, a dark grey evil-looking powder...

So I began the first page of six hundred pages, tied together with string, which I got with the pads from a trip to the post office as I was collecting benefits there with the staff. 

The first page, was about Amorelia, it went from a description of a Choosh dog, which I first saw, in the corridor, my wife holding it's lead, it's an actual reptile shaped like a whippet, and very dangerous, that she had one on a lead, shocked me, that she lay on a bed, in the rehab conservatory (no sitting in the living room, no TV) like the image on my dark blue t-shirt, an image of a woman with long flowing hair, holding a sword, floating around her, shields wearing the Union Jack, faded through red, to orange to a green...the model....cool...it went from the description of the Choosh dog, to some kind of Burrough's like, ritual mourning...then, at the turn of page 2, became Jewish women, calling me as they were dying...where I guessed, in a camp somewhere in Germany...I would make a great journalist, I write as it happens, and I didn't give my self time to let in any type of emotion...

I was aware that lack of emotion was the most disgusting crime...the worse crime.

I wrote what she said when she got home, and carried on with my book.

There are two books, of around 300 pages each. The second book started with a story of two homosexual men, sitting in a garden, one of them spots a gang of gorillas, and chimps, and there are some sort of jokes in it, about invisible monkeys. But the second book got tainted...

I had extra books. I had a red thin hardback book, containing songs, the songs were in Punjabi, they were Holy Songs, for some reason I already knew that, Hindus Indian's, worship God by making and singing songs...It was a translation from the depths of the 1st book, and contained songs of Chariots, and Horses and Swords and Worship.

There were chapters, containing conversations with a Demon, whom I mistook for a girl, until I heard:

"Wear a Purple Bra...."

"You want me to wear a purple bra??? I'm writing the blood of David is dead....do you  really want me to get a bra???"

Lucky for me, the book was more important, than the serpent sex, so I stayed at the desk...I had a little room, with a chair and a desk, I stood a little out of the window, with a foot resting on the roof, perched on the window sill, at night, to smoke roll-ups from butts of roll ups, from the butts of roll ups...Once, when I crept out into the garden, late a tonight, I saw, a river full of reads, and the most frightening hairy orange arms, reaching into the water...a Neanderthal, I expected, or, "that thing...." and I dreamed about the little baby on the basket, floating along the hallway, on the end of my long robes...

I wrote down the lyrics of the songs PJ Harvey was working, in the dark,big scribbles and little mashed up words:


"The Wave Winds are Billowing!!!"

After her lyrics; I wrote about a man watching a concerto of violins...

Next thing I know, I'm on top of a cliff, with King Gray, in Emelbert, in the last war, watching for the dragons demons flying towards us...We are just about to die, and he tells me he loves me, I say I love you too, I die grotesquely, I am burnt to a crisp by a dragon flame...: "Only her feet left..."

Next, I'm wearing muffles over my ears, with a roll-up in my teeth, in the snow...I'm disguised as a boy, and I'm in a Russian Gulag in Siberia...I work there...And the only Russian I know is "Dah..." Then I'm found somewhere by Russian soldiers, discussing Americans, The Americans are God, are you God...are you good...don't care about Americans, no good...then a Jewish man, watching us says he will take me away and marry me, before anything bad happens....

Then the worse book. The second book, was becoming total Hell, not in the way I wrote it, but in what colours it made, and what;

Was being read between the lines....

Start on the story of the Choosh, and pick a special language, use the pen above the writing to pick up each word...and glowing, new, white words appear...

The first language I chose was Aramaic, because of Adalia. It involved the word Sedition, I didn't know what that word meant...Then Greek, then Chinese, some Japan...a lot of annoying Japan,:

I am a star! I drive the car!! I go far!!! The car is a star!!


And so on for some pages....

The Arabic was amazing to me. The Book and the Sword!! it began...The thief holds a dagger, he holds a book....


Kurt Cobain got involved


So many stories were coming to me, so quickly and with little of my own thought....


Molly and Ben and Eloise. Something off-key form the other books, a saga about three people in one couple, and that never stopped, I could always go back to the story of this threesome, if I was a little lost for words, of the naughty Ben who visits Priests, and then makes love on the beach, sings and defies, always wondering whether I am put-upon Eloise, if Polly is Molly...Molly is the bitch...Molly is out of order....

There was the Story of Our Little Sister...

"What shall we do for her??? Silver Palaces or Cedar???

WHAT do we do when she gets into the car, with the knife or the fork....

The book shone like the moonlight outside one night, and I heard many voices, women's voices,, I turned towards the window, still at the desk, as the words I had just written, actually danced in swirls in the air, and spelt;

I Love You...

"This is Elf Language!!!"

It was late so I went to sleep, I went to sleep...

Everything is dirty after that.

The second book, began to shine dull disgusting colours, a dead silver, a deep yellow, a black grey, a lime green, a dull red...the stories were all in the same vein, though I stayed away from translating this one....

I had no idea why this book had got so tainted, because I don't think I had shown it to anyone...

Anyway, that's all about why I'm trying to write in this blog, and rediscover some of the stories...

I'm tired...

The Blind Mice, and The Lizard With the Flaring Tongue

There was a little mouse, with a rather larger than normal head, zooming back and forth, out and behind a flower pot...I spoke to the mouse, and discussed the Emelbert-ian evolution of the Rat to the air around me.

"You Mouse, are a little thing waiting to bite me, your mind is gross, you have a terrible hair, you have dusty feet, you have a grotesque soul, bought from the enlightened...you pity me for being bought...you sail through blood drinking and delight in Hell...you were made. by...me."

The computer keeps turning itself off...back later.

EmelBert:  (Bert-meaning=Planet)

'The Happy People' were once grotesque in manner and function, their minds of a mixture of pharoahic laws and the basest Satanic influence from humans in the development of their thought, a small soul, open to anything that came through, their look was three feet tall, with variations, lime green mixed to lemon white, almost transparent skin, thin membranes, large heads containing considered, minute brains, long, forked tongues of various length, a voice hissing and curling, they developed a mind-voice, twinkling in a monotonous background sound of fuzz, tails or no tails, stumps of tails, tails of various shapes and length, writhing evil long tails...

The Happy People greeted the Emelbertians, the rat-people; in the first quarter of their human-like development, long after, their shapes and sizes had been almost fixed, at the stage of being introduced, to a soul...it was a dark shrine, under the ground in the giant nests, of branches and moss, they came from different planets, perhaps different galaxies, different universes, I can see the position of  these planets when I look up into the night sky. Planet Jesus glows dark blue, Emelbert is as lost as Hell, a star surrounded by a haloe of dull dead white, yellow, hot red, and deep black.

Yes, Emelbert is like Death in it's people's eyes, thick deep black un-seeing eyes, that hide where they look so it looks like they cant see anything, but they are able to see through the darkest places, they watch you with no emotion. Where the Happy People had become pharoahic, was a surprise. They had been thrown into the puddle, and left like that...tiny and many.

Someone had introduced the concept of a Temple, to both species. The men who did this were Earth-men. Inside the underground tunnel I could see, through a window in the wall of my room, the squat extremely hairy Rats, stood four feet tall, and fat, huge fat bellies, behind a table, they had a manner of all chattering and whining and screeching together when one of them started to talk, it was a language...it was a dead soul-less electronic-sounding speech.

What I assumed was Cups of blood, stood on the table, the rats beckoned the lizards; the Happy People. It was a ritual of welcome. It was a dead.

It was dead. Everyone of them had the aura, not of death,

but of dead.

My first idea, was to set fire to the whole place. Abominations, Evil Doers.

I had met the Emelberts before at a much higher level of evolution. King Gray said, something memorable: "We've been through some knocks, but hopefully, we're back to snogs..."

I am now going to investigate what was left out.

The Fire raged, then the poor things began to squeak.

Those eyes were like jumping black beads, trying to fight their way away from the rest of the face.. The Happy People came down the stairs. There was an aura of evil in the tunnel, as the window first opened.

Nothing has come here to explain.

Shonie

(Katie B-Broken Record)

Shonie exclaimed:

"You've met a Shit??? Are you bazza's?

Atashe sank everything.

"What??? WhattTTTTTTT?? WHAT is that THING!!!???? exclaimed Hannah, beginning to violently shake, as she pointed....

"It's me! Lars! I slept on the floor!!!"

"Lars!! I remember, you kept crying sin!! You said I was the wife of shit...You said, she's a baby, rest...." (I said, on the single one blanket bed in the hospital, "Oh shit....I have a wife!"...it translated; this wife is shit...)

"I said : " OH Shit!! You're beautiful!! ""

(Ya, shit...O, shit...an aswad red...a red light...Arabic book for beginnners three,; 'Oh (Ya) My Fatima, of Al Quds, Palestine.'))

---
Dad said:

"Hallo there, Lars!"

---

She couldn't look at Atashe, as she slid through the door, heavy head of hair, whiter than white. SWELL. It's tiring, being awake after today, and I'm terrified of bed, only because bed has become an event. I was terrified in the car, happy at the bus-stop, happy because Sultan and Mummy and I, greeted the german exchange kid at my sisters school, with "Ach vat, mein digger?" Then the teacher starts shaking in her chair, and 'i think she has heard a baddie.' I sent Sultan a white toy car, made from a car that passed the bus, just like a remote control car that he can control with his fingers, then I see my toddler levitate. Worries, and worry. Can they hear the baddies?? So, the event, has become swell, except that I'm terrified, today has been light, apart form two spriks of paranoia, once in the bowling alley, I ignore my other sister in her tight pants and her new all-over tan, which, well, actually looks like a real sun-kissed glow, not, orange, because each time she throws the ball, she does some kind of shaking butt thing with legs wide apart, and I think slightly of our childhood, with her mousy brown very curly curly hair...(and now I can hear demonic laughter)...and something about when she fell off a pony in the mountains in Wales, my pony was white, and she landed on her head, and I cried, and expertly turned the 'horses' head, and 'cantered' a little...that was 2 second recall...I have 50 second terrors and thoughts and talk, that seem longer, much days wasted, pasty and fatter in front of screens and fears...and once at Grandad's...ol' King of Bavaria, the paranoia's at Grandads...so I talk and talk to the little sister, try some polite german , questions, talk about my collection of german music, and about a gallery show, and where I got a list of german music at another gallery show, and dad's eyes going black twice, because I remember before I hit ten yrs old, in weeks it seemed like his hair had suddenly become tight brown curls...something about he works forever on money, and I wanted a pound coin for a guitar hero arcade game...and how he jumps me in the room, while I'm trying to put foundation and eye-liner on, without actually having had a shower or teeth wash, my hair not even reaching the bottom of my skull, but suddenly curlier, than it could ever have been, being dead straight, as a toddler, playing with toy cars, dead straight, lemon blonde hair, and what looks like giant black eyebrows on a baby, that picture always reminds me of when I swept wall-paper across the floor, of an Iranian Jews house, and the ducks walked by staring at the floor, and I'm sure I'm someone special at that moment, and Prokofiev, R and J, is on the radio, and she looks Chinese like in that photo. So, I spend an hour, or more, telling baby all about school, and leave the day brighter, because I didn't see her when she was a kid...

Shonie is tire me...The thing is; When Dad walked in behind the open, door, which gets stuck on the carpet, I jumped physically, but looked and saw no fear, like when an electrician in the house made me jump at the bottom of the stairs and actually scream, because, his, face was fat and round and covered in dark red and yellow...when I looked at Dad , he shone gold, and I said; "Nay a demon, but an elohim..." then I had to go through, Why is he Elohim?" I tell people I tell strangers, through the doors.

Travelling

"The Pavilion got blown up last night...Me and my mates."

Outside the door of the hospital, on a fire alarm call, smoking...


"Yes, because I sent you through a bright (neon) blue door, to Emelbert, where there is a World Wide War...you've been there for weeks..."

Book

begun: Novel, History of Planet Jesus, beginning; the resistance, and ' Amaclut dies by the Sword' ;



a real history...

will be published as a hardback book, for exhibition

Alien Lands

this is concentrate.

"Go to Joyful."

---

"I am in your hair, I am in your Soul, I am in your eyes..."

Thinking how did;

the aliens (music MUSE-best guitairist, voted. new album about a man imaging a Totalitarian ? State, always that, Pink Floyd, hah. songs Crystallised by The XX...)

So,

My Museum is traditional, it is a stately home, with large windows filtering gold light, but always dark inside, there are bear-lizards with pink skin and purple spots, lots of butterfly wings designing, (for the kids) perhaps a little flying machine hanging from the ceiling, there I am in my chunky knits and long black skirts, long orange hair...trips to the sea...once I dreamt i was walking along a path across a cliff, much like the one at Loos, and I see dancing orcas in bright blue waters...

the dreams, the dreams are loose;

I still have German dreams, live on air Nazi dreams. I am always a nazi, and I always wonder why;

some mornings ago, I'm in a team, I have a white buttoned shirt (like the one in the Tarantino film) we are fighting some other Nazi's, me and a brother...I am trying to walk over a long machine in the middle of a factory (as seen in Max Payne) I'm sure I have convinced a man to go to God. I have lost a leg, I have cut my fingers, someone is trying to bandage my fingers ;BUT the oddest thing is the talk, it's HEIGHT Nazi, it's I am a Special Soul, a leader, I wake up with someone forcing a blue ink-stained finger into a wound, over and over again, bleeding blue ink pouring down...the talk...we've all been shot but we 'overcome the evil'

The TALK is a Nazi-Occupied other realm, a real world....

Another dream; I am with a girl at a messy train station i can fly, I fly over the traintracks but there are cables and fences in the way...she is black rags...we move to another scene, we go to a street in golden light, into the "The British Library! Let's find something special!" We walk down one aisle, then back to her home, her home is an underground cave, full of poor people, crowds of people, I think to buy her some sweets in the market, I am waking up, so I leave her a diamond under her pillow, in a little bed in the underground community, I say;

"This is like Gangs of New York! You are the Queen! I am the King!" She says:

"What does that mean? Explain? What mean't wake up?"

I say goodbye forever, until we meet in Heaven. She is wonder; She has the gem in her fingers, she says;

"This is Jewish, I was Jewish..."

---

Noble Warfare

The first night, I held a knife to her behind...I thought I could hear a man...I'm sorry that's you, I heard a man...that was fine, It wasn't noble warfare, I wouldn't go far; because, this man had done the same to me, and I wanted him to freeze. I told her the Mohammedan rules, 1. Fight accordingly, grab a man from behind and cut the throat. 2. Kill only for Him...3. Be Righteous in fight, bring the sword upon the head. Cut only the throat, stab only the heart...well, I tried to tell her, but I wasn't sure... ...the second time I learnt what could make a fable...I held her behind...the gold lights made a fable, the fable was cooking, it was called:

'the best book in the world'

I rolled around laughing...I'm laughing all over the bed; "I'm Bryon, I'm Annnie!!! I'm angry!!"...I had to toilet, I peed everywhere, jumped out of my trousers; "That's OK..." laughing at the

best book in the world;

"The Holy Bible!!" "I see it! We have made the English Bible!! The BEST BOOK IN THE WORLD!!" " " 2 minutes of joy of sex...let's keep making fables!!"

"Ray? Whats the best book?"
"MISHNAH!!! kama sutra!! THE BIBLE!!

"Joy of Sex! Joy of Sex, defunct penis, two minutes of dud, made Joy of Sex!! Ahhahha!! Just cuddles...only cuddles..." "Let me listen;; Allah will tell me; edomites!! You hated me, for that amount of time..."

"Isiah!! Job was the wonder!! Because it ended with our highest love, forgiveness...all the arguements in Isiah, then JOB!! Only it starts with new wonder in the New Testament...you reply to me with good love, in the questions from Job, you give me every question, we never know the answers!! God does this to keep the Covenant! Enshallah Forever, never question God...he never gets answers, because he is only man...it thrills!! I want to see the Tribes, I know this is subtle lovers, the Bible is Sci-Fi!! every arguement, what kills the Hebrew with tribes, our fights!! we made thought, we made emotion in seconds!! gold light fables...I want to see, I want to know..."

"I don't want homosexual...is that cuddle gay-sex?"

----
"I found Mannie's, book, and sent pg 465, I took that tiny chapter, and wondered it to her!!!"

----

"I can't believe what's happened!! We've got a genius in bed!!, we brought Emelbert everything!! Fable Penis!!!"

"Are you going to give me hell?"

"Let's think, let's song...I have two ideas, I need to see pictures of my dreams, send writers my dreams, fables, Heaven..."

"I wanted you, but you will break me...you say cool...cuddle like a girl..."

"This writer can see out of my window!! One of them is writing a whole book, on dreams and impressions of the atmosphere, I sent him blue and pink rain, she's written the sensations, she has the dream!!!"

"Do you want devil bed???"

"Chapter after chapter on the impressions of rain!!! The War!! The War has ended!! this is Virgina Woolfs!! Rats!!"

"I hate you, it's sin...you put there, sin..."

"The Nazi Goyim have died, and I've brought books, left them to show the end of war in books!! We will fight Hell!!! Higher and Higher Emelbert! England! Ireland!!"

"Do you like hurting? Are you sexual hate?? I don't like hate."

"Mannie? What is your fable? I want to make more fable, Romeo and Juliet, all we have already given, write me new, white and blue!!! --B--- let's make fable!! Together, make genius together!! Where can I fable, who will make Love???"

"You won't bite me?"

"I want to put fable, lots of fable, magic...It's called GOD."

"Oh....I want..."

---She was weeping last night, because that famous gay designer had died...she mentioned it today, I had said she was too red, then damned him to hell, i wanted to know, his soul died shrieking, it was a little mucky...I covered my entire face, because his friend was searching, I knew we'd both die, me, because I wouldn't love, his, on fire, because he was queer, I have a little paragraph, to end with about demons and angels...but it needs good words. huff.--today, she talked but I had no idea of Why?...I made myself physically sick, and sang, 'it was a gollum..." I played magic games, followed her through the corridor with a chimp with my head, and thought; 'I dont want, oh no...'---you think too red, I don't like hearing naked women wear burkhas on their head in a fashion show, I dont like too red, this man draws himself with his dick out, in a comic about himself, yo, dont talk to the kid anymore, she likes hearing you, because your bright, too red... DMN me the kid heard me read out loud...i am an accident you should know better---.

Job 3,

¹¹ "Why did I not perish at birth,
and die as I came from the womb?

¹² Why were there knees to receive me
and breasts that I might be nursed?

¹³ For now I would be lying down in peace;
I would be asleep and at rest

(something there...silly to quote, but it's happening...foolish to quote, tears, vain appraisals, devout heathens, clouded temples, voiced God, fallen angels...)

----Job 4

¹⁰ The lions may roar and growl,
yet the teeth of the great lions are broken.

¹¹ The lion perishes for lack of prey,
and the cubs of the lioness are scattered.

¹² "A word was secretly brought to me,
my ears caught a whisper of it.

¹³ Amid disquieting dreams in the night,
when deep sleep falls on men,

¹⁴ fear and trembling seized me
and made all my bones shake.

¹⁵ A spirit glided past my face,
and the hair on my body stood on end.

¹⁶ It stopped,
but I could not tell what it was.
A form stood before my eyes,
and I heard a hushed voice:

¹⁷ 'Can a mortal be more righteous than God?
Can a man be more pure than his Maker?

(...lover's fables...queens for gods, makers righteous...)

HERE'S....!!!

Anyway here's some thing about ATZILUT, inbetween, hot gossip, we know the 4 worlds, but there is a special higher, it is called OT, ot is similar to, Look, it is a force-word...like, SOOK (heres where i always get confused, is someone playing with my mind? i get interuptions, alot...)Sook is forbidden, it means crook...the Atzilut is a 14th High...there are 96 Heavens, there are now, 49 worlds containing living beings, as humans....Azerberiah, (thats it) is the closest to HIM

We skipped WORLD, we atzilut, we are to kaim the LOWER! Become, hold on, 'you too lead'...

Florence is upset, and drunk, so she's just about to right a blog, she caught my sister and new mum friend, in a taxi, crying I 'SPEND' with grannies...so they were in fits, she's always, drunk, its new years eve, and I'll be on here til the next year...she used to paint;

"twee, little pictures..." I draw;

seethes a grannies voice; "sinful death. Hate." It's the demon-granny again!!!
So, Lars breaking into the Higher World scene, you say crock!!means, when I'm at Peace...'Everyone prefers Beriah...'...this is the 'level' notes I have, at the back of my red-book;

Artists I'm studying are all generally 50th level; here; notes;

29th level = woe/crying create.

32 speak

9th level most popular, thinking of chart music ??

Pj (harvey) is 52, Thunder; I can reach 39th.

sicko; he is 28th speak, because they souled Fire fuck up; I'm 28th level, burned in higher.

MANNIE is 98th !!!! Lars, be Arabic.

52 in 11's

Lars can hit 63rd in music, if she ever dared go back to her guitar

Now i have to babysit, through the night. snores at 9;20

Why did I tell Florence NO? One Day, I even cried out;

"You're Fake!"


So, ATZILUT: 4 worlds, they are King...swords fell...Yetzah is DEATH, becasue the shells death...every light in man went fire...look at 'Issac Luria'....I knew I hit somehting inn the doodling, because I felt peace. It rains and rains, blue, in the highest...

highest levels to rreach are level 1000. this is elohim and alien tribes, the EZEKEL, are jewish,...we on earth soared to 500...

she's sleeping;


A dog bit its Mum's leg?? hahahaha. this looks hell, it's sweet...I am 91 throne. I tell them His...Luria was level 85....different catergories. I need lowest SEE.



Yes, I'm meeting a pop-star, it happens that that happens,


we spent four hours talking the rat people of Emelbert, I left her, and she spent 28 days with them, talking, squeaky...

Emelbert...do i include the trying to catch the dog pictures??

she thinks I HATE; "I, duhnooo...."



I said; your soul doesnt suit mine, I asked you, and it was too young, you said, not ready for you, you sounded younger than my soul, we dont match..."

Mine, isn't older, or, GOD! It's jumper!! My hands should look older. but i'm a killer. If old mean't talent.


florence;
she likes jews. she paints pictures, she uses a mixture of god and mog...she said:

"Muslims want me dead!!"



That dagobert stole my red velvet suit!! He's in purgatory, for being gross, and its ripped and covered in mud, lucky for him, I grow to 6ft 3...

The Matishi Aliens

where have my aliens gone? I feel a little lost without my aliens...she's right, I don't hear souls...all that rubbish about music, she says, yes, it's drum and bass,

"But, you don't understand, I am crying Jesus, the Goyim government, have everyone dead, you say, gather men, I say that's His...we have twenty men, you told us to run, we ran, we went everywhere..."

This goes back sometime in history, let's write, what history, I can see. I can see, the rats, they are 3 feet tall, they have tails, they look, like giant rats...Emeeshi is the ancestor of Grant's, Grant is the Matishi soul, he says, "King, Soul..."

Emeeshi was the woman of search Jesus.

The Goyim.

How the Goyim arrived;
They developed from dead, they were built like, radio, they had tinny computer-like voices, as though they wore braces on their very regular straight square teeth...I used to believe that they were the seed of an evil man. They were soul-less. They heard 1080, evil men on Earth. They were viper, they cried a World War, (I believe the war lasted 50 years)they hated Jesus, so they looked soul-less, they wore baker boy hats, they were grey faced.
Grant arrived as Holy Men, he was brought up, singing Heaven, he had two children (gradually the litter, for Matishis became smaller, as, a smaller brood of larger babies, is less painful...) the children were King.

One was called Heeshy, the other Gray...Heeshy would cry, Gray would see sin...Heeshy grew up crying; "Dovid" This meant, to see Him, as something in light, especially to have, 'vital' behaviour. When he was 22, he met Avid, Avid was especially God.

Both Avid and Heeshy knew the government would cry everyone Hell, they were born after a war, their mother had told them, the hell of war...Their father Grant, was respected as Holy Men, he wrote a thesis on War, "War is devil. Create, nay, a War...We have looked to Heaven, and we will prepare the men!!..."

Heeshy grew up as a naughty boy, he would say; "Git! prepare Heaven!" he looked at girls, and said; "My bird!" His way of talking "Dovid" would be to tell that his father was, "Hearing Heaven! But see-ing me in Fell!" Dovid meant to him, a way to tell, "...to keep me in minx, and totally rot down Hell!..."
Avid, his friend, would journey with Heeshy to the 'Cartel'...The cartel, was, a holy temple, it looked like a massive hotel, inside the building, were, six spicklelets, which means, six types of cartel, envision, different paintings, the paintings were of God, God had long hair, little pink whiskers, and large, blue eyes. Avid was delirious, he said: "Beautiful bitches!!" They were loony, they wandered through the building, crying 'heardy' to holy women, "Babe...I can hear the movie!! The movie is skies!! It says, "Baby, Baby!!"..."

Their father Grant was climber, he climbed all the way, to Jesus. He was, penitent, holy sees. He was respected, by the human holy men of earth. The war had ended in his lifetime.

It had ended, because every Goyim, was abruptly vanished, they had begun to die, because God could see Sin.

Gray was special, he could see. Heeshy was diatronomous, he made men and women high. Avid was simple...Gray grew up, wanting...he wanted Freedom.

In 1991, Gabriella arrived on Emelbert, she was across the street from the Cartel, she said;

"Meet me women."

Gray was murdered by 'Abba'...Abba was sins. He hated hurt light. He told Heeshy to die, Heeshy laughed; "Mate! You're quig!" Grant deplored 'quig' (witch) "Why is my son dead??!"

He thought Gray had murdered. Gray had moved away to dead. Gray was King, because he knew the Goyim murdered and he thought ever-after was dead. He was thrown out for crying quig. He told Father, "Never make a man dead..."

He wandered the streets, he found.

Avid was laugh, "Look mate, he ain't a Quig!! I'll pray Quig!"

Gray was despised of Heaven, because he saw dead. His reason was;

"They killed Lars in Heaven..."

She said Yes. She was eating in a cafe, she had six spigs of money, equal to 26 quid, rented a little room. Wandered the town. She found the Matishi's high. One day, she leapt; "I can hear my guy!!"

She found him in a house...Gray was shine, he said; "Lars!! You are nay dead!!"

They met a guy called Kray, Kray immediately fled, he said; "This bitch is dead."

She forgave him, and joined him in the Cartel...They went to every town, they fixed an abode of a giant nest, made of branches and boxes. They wrote dictums and 'trivles'...Trivles are dizzy poems. Eggs and cheese. They wrote Heaven.

They become famous.
They heard demons...

Fame was witch, too many spiggles were spent. Lars left after 14 weeks. She had crowned Gray, for crying light. He returned to his Father. Grant was happy; "I welcome my son! I see him!!"

Forty books were published, it paid 8 spiggles a book, to set a company of printers, it cost 98. The books were pages and pages, mostly sin.

Gray was crowned/blessed in Heavens, because he prized Love, above all.

At the Cartel he was greeted, he said, soul. He loved Lars, she loved him. They fought the evil in a shower of rain, heathens were killed. The devil, they called, The Lord, it had arrived on Emelbert to kill the well, it left in a flower of rain because Mannie spent every tear in the clouds...

Avid arrived in God, and said; "Treacle, we are rod!! We have Heaven!!"

Kray became diatronomous, he left everyone with rhymes, the rhymes were,

See me witch?
We sell the itch.
I wanted look, she'll never look...

Lars thought Kray, God, because every time she shone, he said: "WOW!"

When Kray was crowned, Gray told Kray to go, crowning means a special blessing...he told Kray, "If you ever hate a man, you will be dead..."
----
Kray was 'turtle' he though it was guy to hate, he would tell us; "This man ain't break! He's a tert!" He could see the men we met, and tell us soul. He was anger. Gray was well, whole. He thought the time to kill a demon, was 'chantelle', 'easier to do' than to fight the goyim in a long hideous war. He would quote Grant, he met a girl, and said; "You are nay Lars..." Lars slept in special, she had a mansion in the skies, she did God's work. She taught Love. Their picture of the Goddess was a soft picture.

(to be continued)

Death, The Terrorist!!

"This is not your house!!" they shout, "Well that's funny cos menteng I own the house..."

I'm cunning, that's why!

I say I am going through the 'Gothic' door, because I see it in front of me, Gothic because it is black and it says die and hell...and I say this is the Jew's, they dictate where I go when I die, I say it on purpose, because I want to hurt, like everyone else, and I am helled....I smash plates

I've realised. I go for a walk in the house and I am surrounded by crying women in robes rolling around on the floor, what I am to do?? My easiest language is Aramaic, followed by french, and I must stop crying "Hot Shit!!" in Punjabi, when I watch her in the kitchen...but, these holy women ;

I can nay hear them, and I decide, I am not; them!. Why? Because I am in death.

I understand the concept of time, as Pratchett writes it the Trouser Time Theory, it means I have already a taste of Heaven, and when I die, that taste (according to how I have thought and acted) will be taken away, because I am mean, I am rude, I am never one to mourn (what is mourning?? The werewolf? why is she killed, is it because she was a felled soul? It is right to say there are higher men, (Aryan, Kushka, to Dahksha) and this belowman?? I hear the girls say, how could we ever tell? It is disgusting for my wife to change, she knows how my mind works...Allah will still save, and if I have the power, make it work arubptly, which is good intention, but how can I talk her back, in the change??? that would entirely mess her up because I know the change word, and she says "Louis, I know what you're like, don't change me in change!!"...and I am slow, so slow, I hear my own to be "Expecting the good, but fearing the worse! And make everything work out fine", RIGHT NOW

And I only want to hear good, because how could Allah have made it any over way??? How could we tell a belowman from a god?? Because the godman is riddled with sins, everything is basically a sin, until YOU, just leave...just leave everything, or, worse, cling to rules, rules that you THINK in obeying make you anyone better...we are little pigs...I mean is the werewolf a result of hellmen, being deincarnated?? (falling down into animal...reincarnation) My mourning should be real, I mean to say,

I should feel it, and damn the rules!!! I want my rules, not the hospitals, jewish rules, This would lead to a straight jacket, OR this could lead to showing more love...what can I do?? I hear;

"Werewolves are made from God, because God looked at the woman from whom He made the moon, and He wants Her, so He, Howls!!"

I met an Arab boy in the takeaway, and he swore at the staff, I expected a reaction, of what I don't know, but as he walk out, opening the door, I threw, an incredibly godlike look, my eyebrows darkened, my eyes turned red, and in front of my eyes, his hands reached his face, bent, and he began to dribble...

I have killed a boy. And I pray, logially that if Allah power did this, Allah power can heal.

Then last night, I see the face of a girl, mouth wide open, my girl, my daughter, and she has been killed. I do nothing, I lay there, wondering who this is, Allah, (this hebrew god of yours) someone up there has destroyed my daughter because she said God is a hog!! And I don't look at the women who did this, but I think I hear them, and I call them Burkha Bitch, please don't be moslem, I bet you're fat fascist cow, and then I think of my woman in Heaven, that I see at the door of the house, it's Mannie's house, she is waiting inside, with the children, wearing her burkha, is this Mannie? (she wears the silver and black veil I bought her) looking like I have died, and then I have other images of British soldiers finding this house, yes, this is Mannie's house, and having us all killed, this is the end of our world...this is what will happen, that weekend, i spent five hours in the rain, watching the cat through the door, with a can of beer, standing in the rain, with soaked shoes because I fell in a puddle, occassionally talking to a Matishi rat alien drum n bass nut, she likes "I'm a black man! Black man!" (taken from Mannie's son, I think he is cooking up more than chess matches, and he's doomed!!) and, talking into the house; "I like you to see this is love, I have waited here, and believe God, my love here, my love is yearning for you!! My love is greatest! This cat is Jesus! Please remember we are One! I have ever love!! Is point to be scored? because we're soul! Please understand I am God!" Then, I wander into the shops, holding up a tin of pineapples and a blackcurrant juice, in each hand, I think the guy has been rude, so I burn his face!! I have been strangled, shot, crucified, eaten, burnt, and I'm beginning to think; DIE, like me!! and I say; "I did it!! I admit it!! I am the terrorist!!"...think, wait, wait, you will have forever to be God, last night, I think who am I most comfortable with in Heaven? I mean who relaxes my soul?...and what am I to do?? Pray for the best...go to mourn...

My task, is; To See His. Ask everyone, and no-one, if he is OK, because something in me has cried, keep me soooo away from Heaven!!!

I don't...For ten minutes I am low, but I say, SEE MINE!! see Proof!!...And I am back to this!!!! Nothing!! Barely hearing but assured she is fine, no idea who she is...no idea what these women say to me, expect "We are dead!!" And my sister what am I to do, when I hear Baal, and it is something in my dad, WHY must Anne visit me, with cords round her wrists....what devil men have overtaken Heaven??!! And I look at my sister laughing, then bang I drop into her soul and see her soul break in front of me, even though I have spent so much time worrying for her... Why do I say Annie is my Love, when I never want to see her?

The werewolf?? "If I had the power, I would let her remain a woman for life..." Then, this morning, I hear it has worked, AND yet, this evening she is back to wolf, and Allah is leading her away from me, down, through a door, because it is forbidden????
Mourning

The shopping trips tells me much, I miss out on the mosque, because I'm shy, and the girls have followed on the bus, to keep me happy, so I go into the library inside, it's a tiny library, I find the newspapers and sit opposite the Tamil section, I think of an Orthodox woman for bed, she's married...this voice in others has died, I see and hear the happiest moslem woman talking to her children, and it's the best!!! But I am damned pissed at finding the best, and my voice is taken again, and she says the word; "Dead!" or "Sex!" And then I woe my soul, and cry let them go, then I hear and see sparkling lights, like a William Blake, the sun shining through a cloud, and the Angels speaking..."Go Away! Please forgive me!! I don't want to hear you!!" But I am I want to hear my wives so much......And I walk through the rain back to the shopping centre to buy my Jewish Chronicle, and look into all the moslem area shops chanting Paki, paki, paki, because I hear the word in my head...and Ive let go!!...And I hear a man crying And I tell Annie she needs a punch!!! A punch for making me think you were dead in Heaven!! I will come home and beat you!!! How dare you come to pretending you were killed, and I look at myself, and I'm sick yellow, and I have three black nipples on my chest and I hear her scream... And I say, "Do you see this, last night I was a beautiful woman, now you see what my soul has become, and I send myself to Hell" I know people in the street can see me so I send it away; To Hell...

I see the headlines, Bomber Boy Kills...I work for Heaven, so I check, thinking this is what will redeem me!!! THAT is the primary thought pig!! The Taliban had tied him to a chair and threatened to kill him...into Heaven. I forget I'm still in Hell.

By the time I'm home, I remember where I've gone, and I cry me out of Hell. I hear I've made 3 million pounds, for what?? Getting the bomber boy home?? So I look, I see 'beautiful me' walk up the stairs into Heaven. I say, did they get me out? Let me hear, because I would rather go to Emelbert.

I hear; Miss; you the bestlooking thing I have ever seen!! We love you, Miss!!

I talk to Allah;

You have Eternal Life, and you were prevented from going to Hell, You have three million pounds. You redeemed three men who heard you were Hell. You said, Allah let me go to Emelbert instead, So there you went...The men you love are Jews...Yoou see the door because you are shells, shells are hells, let fair come home, I will be fair, you are no, we are never no...(oh, I am worse, so much worse...)
WHAT CAN I DO!!!!!?????

I think on the bus, I think I don't want these girls, I want wives, but I am sooooo glad to hear these girls better than wives...Who do I feel comfortable with in Heaven, Mohammedans No.1 men!! The feeling is astounding!!
Something like, a bigbath, and sail and respect...I nay feel weak, but I am chuckling out loud that here I must be their nigger!! Because not one man on this bus makes me feel comfortable, not the young Arab guys!! Mohammed's men!! They are 'salvar' (salvage) soul!!! These are the men I wanted to leave home for!!! The holy flags!! Let's look at these Saudi's...Father!! I have found one God men of the seated men in the political meeting!! Cry Him!!

I went to Emelbert and returned. And there I gather people/ratpeople; I sing the Arab boy...and he is soul, "Mummy we sing! Louis, I am fine. You did hurt me, because you looked at me kill, and I went funny, until I got home..." I spent fifteen minutes only, after crying him all the way on the bus, and I wave the bathmat around spinning in circles crying;
"Habibti boy is dead!! Please heal Habibti!! (means, I think now; Sexy!!)" Oh!! Look t my beautiful education!! So many years learning in Heaven!!mourn, mourn, mourn, dead, dead, dead. Then we throne, A VOICE says I was only 18 yrs old on Emelbert when they called me to Throne, (spiritually 17, so that's the age I was when I arrived, minus wrinkles, pockmarks, and this little furry blonde and orange beard I developed after Mum's attack on me with hair-remover, which she constantly tells me to remove, and I will not!! (But...I saw Mum die, she sat there and shook, and said oh, no! I looked at her, and she looked cuddles and vunerable, she heard alien girls from Planet Jesus, say; Nanny Doozan, you are the bed!! I tell her outright, "Mum, you're hearing alien girls, they can't talk proper English yet, they said; You are the best!! And she actually replied; "Yes!" Ahha!! I reminded baby sister, but then I reminded myself what I stupidly hollered in her head, the shock, that Dad was dead...what we did in Heaven, Me, her, and Delphine, sitting there on a sofa in the skies, howling, and other things like walking her to school, Mum is much improved, she's finally talking to the aliens, she's realised that mine telling her her daughter has just finished Artschool, is not some way of my, being, (the word?) She'd say 'nutty'...My little husky puppy, loves me, says he loves mummy, and cries; Chase me!! when I let him off the lead...) the Garret book became a hit, because it was about Jesus men in death, I wrote the philosophy, Mannie wrote 'High Crime!' and the Emelbertians, on their planet, they cry;

"King Louis!! Forever!"

The Rats!

I want to hope;

Dadoichzlig; TheDeathStar; They call it Emelbert, It is inhabited by men who evolved from rats, I know an english girl in the mental hospital who married an Emelbertian, she looked at him because he came to greet me, and she fell in love, "You are beautiful!" He has thick dark hair, he looks human, but he has black all over eyes, no pupils....

Look at the way we want, desire crystal shooting upwards through the death of a star, i want to see; we were happy, look where the flow, exempt!...look where theflow, i wanted her...god...we seek love...you looked too dot...special bed;

Is His;

chicooti baby...'caroot' is a cat, catrat,

I look at her weeping, smell, the sofa was youth i looked hopeful i touched the sides of my face and pulled my hair and giggled
"The ratmen came from my foot, like a thing! a disgusting thing! yet, this foot is light, it says, YOU are Special to this foot! A thing! that evolved! this thing that came from a broken foot, was a thing that evolved from a thing..."(she looks god)
sweet kitchen, don't think of him, he says; "i am not a thing!"

"And we Earthmen are monkeys!! we came from the caroot (cat) too! and even further back the mammals the rats, so we are thing because we are rats!!! You are like a thing, that evolved!!"

----

Sleep, happy, lover,

----

look at the sofa see her love, it was not youthful, but it wasnt the word you were looking for, and yes it was, she, my hair tickles her belly, because i am still speaking in 'Matushers' they call god men, wine, wine, they say;

"piddle trousers! look at your foot here! you love me! love me! we're here!!"

That's why I was, to evolve from a rat foot is yukk---- she whispers, I'm looking at God...

when i sat in that room i felt well, she did what my dream wanted, she almost touched my leg, here hand was smaller this time, and very white bone, it jumped like tickle piano, we played chess, she beat me, we played again, she won, i said beauty, genius...

"Nu, nu, nu!"...move that caroot out of the way, a tickle cat, white and black...she has long skirt, she is a youthful genius, everything has turned the colour purple..."Nu, nu,nu!"

I love the cat, now, I appreciate the cat, it's black and white...I read Elvin Lore, Appendix of Lord Of The Rings, MiddleEarth Elmethelbreth, can hear my love, I see a man, resting on marble overlooking the forest, a man from Rohan, dressed in black jerkin, a sword on the floor, (I am Elder); "She is on Earth with her fair lady, they have married, we fare well..." kissing, cuddling, and she reads a book of Chess, says; "Look! my son studies this and is soul..." we are opposite on leather chairs, I leaned away from and with my head on her belly, tickled her with my hair, and flicked through the giant book, nu....

I'm looking at you, and I'm right, I feel you, I know we're height, height meant;

We've admitted Love..."I want her love..." We are happy in love.

I looked through the bed and I see a little dead, like...we didn't bed, like...i'm better in her...I am a little crazy, i'm staring at the chessboard; "I am not a thing!" makes me giggle, i repeat;

"I'm not a thing! I'm not a thing!!"

er, dah, dah, giggle, dah, dah, juicy man we giggle, the sea is split! the rhyme! everywhere, we've split! look at the stars, crystal light is scars, give me curtains, tweed roses, heavy shaped curtains, all is dark in golden light, like oranges, roses like oranges, the seas are Jesus, the skies split! when you looked at her you were led, you said lead me...you look a little stunned, you feel she is laughing, she looks at you and begs;

"Look at me! Look at me!"

you love being cats.

She feels, and you look weak, you feel silly, your little sweat is meekel, treacle!!