Mother

 I've been through Hell....men of Hell....

I sat in the garden, in the dark, chain-smoking, and praying, asking for people in Heaven, to help, to send a message to God, the one I call Shekinah (the female divine presence).

When I went to my room, I made pillows and a blanket, for the floor...then I had a vision...

I saw a woman in gold, with three pairs of wings, I heard a moan, and she fell off the throne...it's because I was in Hell...

I said; "What is your name?"


She said; "The Angel, Shekinah..."


Aneshka was the one staring at me, from under the pillows, "...the Angel of a Star, in the Sky..."

I flew deepest black wings, they fluttered and roared, and opened, she hit me with a golden white light, and I tripped on my hands, it was forcing a kind of electric into me, my soul changes to a boy-angel, thick bright white hair, with a touch of light neon blue, and black long-sleeved shirt, and black trousers, and huge thick black mono-brow...I forget what I was doing in speak, I was,

crawling on my knees and hands on the floor, growling...boy-angels have voices like little dogs, gruff, and a little angry bark...

I was barking in anger, and

she sent me clouds of golden white light, with hints of lemon, hitting a storm of light into my body, hitting me in my back, and making me twist and turn and roar, and moan, and shaking, as I was still on my hands and knees, looking at the floor, crying:

"MOTHER ! MOTHER ANGEL!!"

Every-time I got hit by light, I shook, being zapped by a bit of light, in places, like my back and shoulders, and because I was fighting the light with deep black hatred,  I shook, and I growled, and I complained and barked and shouted, and ,mostly, in Lars, I just laughed...she laughed too...

then I had to sleep, keep her safe, and sleep...Aneshka turned deep dark green. Her wings opened and snapped.

The Resistance

AMACLUT dies by the sword! Falls on his sword! Amaclut fell by the sword.

Amaclut died.

There was a War, the Reckoning was Swift.

characters:

Alan: resistance

Amaclut: wise king

Amer: (jewish hats) wife of king

Asia; (an American Him) Daughter of Light

Weeza: (jewish girl) a call to God=resistance=

Julie: (single mother/single mother soul ; blood red;; (brother: "Mi BLUD!") a white woman. (he must be meeting many older women...I'll explain why mostly only white women are more of this scarlet colour later) rides car.

Ray: resistance...fair.

Jewish: (seeks Hell) fights Amer.

Esh'el: sweet wife of Amer.

---
(then I got stuck on the book, so I copied a private diary I found...;)

Julie: (more granny white than carmel) I went to the restaurant. Alan was gay. Then He said E.L.P...I said why? He said:

"Because we're dead!
Bitch! We're dead!"

I said "Oh dear."

We was dead.
---
---loser---

I wanted to know their colours, Planet Jesus, people are usually multi-coloured, in their hair and skin, I know all the colours of the soul...How do this show in their colouring, is it higher light, is it a gene-pool, is it the actual forming of their own soul, in the womb. Things got confusing, all the guys in the story, that I thought were 'goodies', began to show an overall Satanic, Sick Evil colouring, I even said, Is this Lesbians? IS this something to do with evil lesbians? Am I hurting my scene, am I committing political suicide, did I give a shit about any single gay-pride/happening/cause/...?...no...:

The girls said to each other, that's Amer the Queen, and the Jewish girl:

E: "Do you want to light?"

Amer: "Yes! And See!"

Colours of characters:

Jewish: purple eyes, black skin, white hair...(Ok so good colouring)

then the Queen, frightening; Amer: blue, quite dark, red hair, cotton; eyes! yellow!! ??!!

Alan, (a hero) blue, eyes: YELLOW!!! (bad bad soul, absolute sick, inside a soul, that would sound like a buzzing, slimy, orc demon...) hair, yellow!

"Well, I have a little yellow in my eyes also, i'm either prone to Cancer, or, while growing up, I sang, "I hate Sing!""

Then Amaclut (who i thought, was supposed to be the baddie, a misunderstood cuckold old pig)

has:

red and white, hair light green, eyes green...(green; true love, red; holy anger; lime green; good bed.) god god god

Things are getting unfair for Amaclut here, is he being misunderstood? because his wife is with;

Esh'el: yellow skin!!! hair white, eyes blue.

"Sole Kill White!"

White skinned people are beginning to be 'ascertained Hell' here, for looking like the LIGHT???!! They encounter Racism....

If it was ME, there, in colour: hair dark green, skin sparkling white, eyes black. (really my inner soul is star-covered silver, the soul of ANGELS, "Why wont you let me stay silver? What do I know?)

-"The Yellow fought Light." And THIS! There is Racism, on this planet!!

(i quote); It became simple to hate white...they hated soul, white is sin...
---

I wanted a woman to love, an older east end girl to take me home, be mum...she was meeting bad men, she was the kind of girl who save, and called me :babe...she had a lot of children, someone had taken acid in my brain, and as I walked through town colours were appearing everywhere, I saw my woman, and I saw blood red...the dog was sick, it got filled with cobalt blue which is 'comedy' 'sense of humour'...I died.

Colours Radha

because i had to leave the family, i woke up in a kind of netherworld, i saw yellow images of demons, (that's 'cadmium yellow hue', not; 'Lemon yellow', which is the colour of worship.) When I get back I see again, I see dark blue doves, and white lights.I left because I thought they were fighting my family...I'm fearful.

Nothing has happened.

I've fought again. I'm asking to see the Future.

Radha, that's it, she's Radha, that's what I discovered, YES!! The name was pronounced!!: she gets the blue, and white, and purple lights, that must keep her well and she doesn't know, these two Heaven souls, have become eternal, the circles, it means, our souls married and created voice through time, from the beginning...to quote;
Each and every god has its partner, 'betterhalf' or Sakti and without this Sakti, is sometimes viewed being without essential power: see the Story of Radha, I mean she finds her husband in every incarnation, they are the same soul, and they meet in different lives...Krishna was magical child, He was the magic on my shoulder he went through a door, he has large eyes, piled dark red hair, white skin that shines........ I think I get yellows, worse I see the colour Diarrhea, and I'm screaming, that's why I never use 'Yellow Ochre' in painting, they're just diarrhea, don't problem, don't voice, make them go. She's worshipped, and that must keep her well, she doesn't know Radha. Laying in her lap was the beginning of Time, I wore dark braided hair, light blue skin...I was surprised, I was called Vishnu, I mean, the Indian girl in my house calls me Vishnu, I see why;

Lakshmi pronounced the word, "Vishnu!", it meant;

"I see you are sin."

She should know Hindu. She should awaken. Well, the past sent, a 'silver' conversation,(silver is to me, higher than God, it's Angel's Voice, Gold is love, true love, like dark green...I should discover green, it makes green eyes...children with green eyes...) I don't listen, I stayed for some time with my hand placed over her head, that's comfortable, a palm on the top of her head... I should stay with that. I should fire at diarrhea, I shouldn't cry; I should, they should see...I can discover the darkest purple and blue, that's weep...

I have tzallit to sew, and make; the colour discussion, was disagreeable, we settled, on blue and white. I like Neon, neon lime green mixed with dark blue. Bright pink, and black. Forgive my bright pink, it's tea and coffee, 3 to 4 sugars, mixed with an alcoholic spell, it's crazy party... Dark brown mixed with gold, that's "God, Why?" That's the colour of Hebrew eyes.

I have 4 and a half months left? I can't breathe when I walk up the steps. Creamy white is a worry, it was given light, there are two kinds of angry sin, vermilion without the sparkle, and dull scarlet, the vermilion fights, it's worse; the dull red is just complaining.

Light Blue and white must be the sweetest, it's THE "Flag" the only flag worth anything. I thought light blue was rare, that is lucky, that is listen, it's light and fair...They said, the Beloved was white with dark hair and green eyes, add that to a fighter and we have paradise.

Light Pink; doesn't want to say what she meant, that you are sweet, she says nuts. Pistachio is OK. There are grades of Black, if you're blind you can't see.

I must trudge through this creamy white, all the time, it stinks. It's the smell you couldn't wash off your hands, it's a mixture of putty and vomit...It sent me dizzy sick. SO ban it...

Gold lights are exploding from our chests everywhere, and I say they've lied. Who voices God?

Something was nuts, lime greens, and deep blacks and fuzzy bright pink, all mixed over a dark shadow. It was all sinful. We loved and hated at the same time, holy red, holy blue, half and half.

Lime greens and dark blues, and deep blacks. Cool.

We settle, for hide. Speaking is a waste of time. Show it...

Count on to change soul, at least 5 times a day. Be careful of sleep.

This is Bright pink.

I made heady talk, light grey in sparkles...I said, No talk.

Fool's Gold, dull shades, covered my hair, I shaved it off. I started again, in light blue, thank you...("..have you a poem?")

Black and Blue; That's the colour for Heaven, from the book; The I-Ching, Beware of yellow and black.

Colour smells, you throw me yelllow, and I chew lemons, I'll bring in the colour of sin, just colour, no more, dizzy drug free highs in gold...insane movement of bright Pink. A herb wrapped in leaves, behind my ear, a room furnished with Oak panelling, and a doorway to a feast, I'll make jelly chocolates out of colour, really; we smell like mulled wine and apples. Sin is disgusting. Cry unclean.
Everything Green...

Leaven in Green

The old witch, finally looked at me...

her eyes turned green.

I asked a question to anyone in the garden, I flipped the empty chair in front of me, round, to face a ghost:

"Why? Nearly three years ago, did you tell me the colour green was sicko...then I decided it was want for Jesus, like a convert, like a grading in holy soul, green to love blue, green to become higher...
THE COLOUR green IS THE SOUL OF THOSE WHO ARE IN

TRUE LOVE!!!" So, we let everyone true lover, go to higher Heaven...

Later that day, my legs started to grow long, and walk funny, because I put a trick on Jewish Shidduchim, which is an arranged marriage, they meet many times, sometimes once if orthodox, and they have someone who leads them through the dating , until they decide, on a marriage...

"Great! So the soggy witch is my Bashert!"

Talking to an American girl, over my homework...get up to make tea, leggy spindly long-legs:

"And now, -------- is my bashert!!"

I am pig.

I let Florence meet Grandad Alfred (see Alfred, see her music videos, are like the story of Nanny and Grand-(vater)...and then, I let her cry, and cry, forcibly;

Because, she met me, an hour or so, after I had slept with a woman, and this woman is still in my soul, and remembering this, is getting foggy...Flo is so beautiful, but I can't:

Look; and; Feel...I've filled a whole scrap-book in two days, it's about, pysche, what is our mind, and I've to start another, which means something is good...because when I feel empty, I do nothing...yet, shit, I have to research an artist, and i hate it, and that's what I have to talk in a week, so I've skipped to the next month or so, own project, and hope to get away with very bad, quick sketches, of the exhibit...

???but,but, but..is was to look and not want, and; I'm listening ot her album all the time, I have put together, this is her beautiful face, and this is her cool sweet mind, and this is so, so

if you read me earlier on, it's, to defy

God...

This marriage will be God, the Divine... she was chosen for me, by GOD!!!

and?

Two Basherts, I never thought of...and the shock of being

jewish!

Amy cools, Amy's sweet, she's better in our new friends, because she says:

"They don't think...Louis and fren's think...they think We...they look at me free..."

because the witch, looked at me, making tea, the next morning, and screeeeeeeeeechhhhhhhhhedddddd; And;

I walk out into the garden, shaking, shaking badly, then I sat down on the lawn, and I started to cry, and my jaw and chin, wobbled uncontrollably (like it used to do in school, in class, in front of the whole class)...and I said to Heaven;

Never let me meet women like that, I would hate a woman forever...

And Florence said:

"I love you!"

And I didn't hear her, I said; "This is embarassing, I hate this...why are women gross? too angry?? I'm angry too, they don't free me...what if they die???";

And she cried...

And worse, I've realised I'm the father/mother of a jewish baby, from the past; my girl is a very sexy girl, who listens to me, this is the girl I need to spend time with, I thought about her on the bus today; I thought about eating chocolate, to her; I'm a cool girl;

who is studying art, in yeshiva, and painting women...and this:

She walks around ancient Israel, and says, alot;

CUNTS!! ... then she sits with friends and says, in a sexy hebrew purr-crossed with my accent;

EEEttttttt con- taiiiiiins NairTS!!!

because I have a problem with reading, food information, because it contains nuts, is my Aramaic as;

They lock up the meshugganah..(crazy) and they mimic her, sitting in the desert, outside houses;
"it caaaaaaannntai's narrrrrrrtttssss"