Shidduchim

Find me a story!!

The first time I took genuine alcohol was friday night, since four years ago, unicorn, a bottle top of schnapps, with 'shit diet pepsi. i need too much sugar..." and two half pints of lager, foot stamping because I've turned unicorn, and she's freaking out in my head, that shekinah, I found out other girls do that, so I had to 'base' lift it, keep them cool, white light, something, that put her friends in death;

"My son-in-law is talking me to bed..."

I usually add wine to my cups of tea, and I stalk my mother-in-law, I am eternally forgiven,

and very confused.

Some-one put the thought of chlamydia to me, at my first art exhibition outside the library, I announced this in a woman's mind, over the inter-com.

I was eternally forgiven.

I am the sweetest: C**T, to my sister-in-law.

I am jewish. This is too hide, my underground Irish Nationalism. As I have contacts in the English Government;

"Yes, Gordon, I don't fucking know any politics, surprise them, say your soul, cry you want Jesus, I know you hate Jesus...Now, I am going to bed, fuck off to ya."

I am Scottish

I am trying to be Jewish. Explicitly in this post, just like yours. Your 'lost' humour, your tachycardia/spell-check; Yiddishkeit; "oh look frum-person; sex! hehehe...";

"Jews are suppose to be funny."

"You forgave him for having a sexual disease??"

My face turne (the D button wont work)

"Goron, I take your money, I'm on your list, go away, you will kill me....I'm going to bed..."

'"I'M WITH WOMEN!!!"

into Elo ham, (MY FACE TURNED) last week, after school, I stood in the dark, face a woman, my face turned light blue, I said;

"See this Holy Seal upon my forehea!!"

And I grew lumps and patterns on my forehead, I turned gold, I became

Ealo-eem.

--- When I added two counts of wine, to my pepsi, by singing;

Akon Oty, (Here Beloved) Avara...(WINE!)

I saw the black cat, I shooed it with my foot, as I wandered to the kitchen, the grannies (grans, of great great great great etc.) in the front room, I knew the cat.

The cat had a name, it was a hebrew name, I saw it!

"Annonnn, you know why you died! Leave me!"

---

"This cat was an evil Russian!!"

"I know this, I am her husband!"

"God torments and kills my soul, for being a Russian man!"

"What kind of Hell is this??! To make my young woman's soul, die because of this previous sin!"

J.

"Are you drinking this?"

"I am a Russian killer, am I drinking or not drinking, I'll do whatever my wife the cat, tells me to..."

----(The Alo-ham story has lost my mind.)---

Her friends;

"He makes you sick!!"

"Whyyy is he die?!!"

"Stupid man..."

"He's retarded? Are you OK?"

"Shit! He's bent!! HE says I'm a chunim, a nerd for killing God!!"

"That fucking dick, he keeps calling Mom red."

"Don't go, if he's Moses, don't go to red, the chunin are red...Tell him sure."

"DAD!!!! She's crying you're sick!!! Tell God!!"

"If he's retarded, be sweet."

"He talks funny becasue he's dead."

"Baby, retarded men are the sweetest." American Israelis.

"OH MY GOD! He farted all the way down the street??!"

(I was preeeeeeten'ing)

"Where is he sick??!!! 'Sister-in-law' keeps crying he's sick!!"

"Oh....my....god."

"Now you're playing David??? How can we cry E. is David?? This is going to killllll! Because you can sing?? You think you wrote? What, Man? Michal wrote the majority??"

"Jesus! Moses married David?!"

"Why do you forgive the sick???!!! He's pacifist!!!"

"This will keep me home...."

The Wife: "I don't vant!"

The Sister; "If the Arabs give me sticks, will I die??"

(That worried me. I wrote Little Sister, beginning wiht SIlver Palaces, and Cedar Trees, it's knives, forks, and spoons, I wrote, she will get in a car, and get forks, if she leaves the car....(can't remember)

"This stupid pig, he flew God. Love Her."