الجمعة، 17 فبراير، 2012

Get Up

I was a Mute for according to calulations 3 years...perhaps 3 and a half months...

My graphics tutor was olive skinned, chubby and dark...

I was eventually, coming into school with one pencil and a lack of paper, already formed a kind of big-shouldered humpback as I grew from the previous bag full of textbooks...

My shoes were sizeS too big, and my long white socks, always put together with the wrong type of patterns...the white shirt got untucked, the tie that's others were always picking the white stripes out of off, until it was gone completely from the blue, these pupils were the coolest...the tie was usually tied around my head, in the breaks and through walking in the half-way...

All this was a kind of "forming" as I got older some eyeliner and mascara was added...

Some kid in a soap-opera got her ear pierced at the top, and Dad said No, to that, so a friend and i immediately went into the cheap jewellery shop where you could pawn stuff, and got pierced for a couple of quid, these piercings were hidden by a surreptitious part of our hair...the hair got streaks of pink food colour added.

I liked the french teacher who was ultra-skinny and dark, and ....nice. And there was the woman with dark red hair, wearing a straw-hat, acting/lecturing about the first automobiels in a museum, and the dark primary scholl teacher. and the etc...


Sometimes I was top in physics, sometimes an F in religion. When I did work, I still didn't get respite,

I was put in detention, every lunchtime, a first year was struggling with Maths, next to me, we were put at a desk for everyone to see, outside the staff-room, my french teacher threw books in my face...I wanted to be God, so I sat with the first year, and showed her a step by step way of doing the long division that i learnt in primary school...that was the best thing I did...

I did a exam in Science, I finished the paper with lots of time to spare, enough to create a "colour pyramid" of felt-tip pens...I got told off.

I got told off, for spraying water on people, throwing bags at peoples heads, all an accident, and getting DD

I got interviewed by a cookery teacher daily, it was staggeringly unbelieveble and cruel, most of it was cruel.

"What did I do at home?"

"I go to the park. I have a friend I meet there." Admittedly, I had no friends...

I went Mute, and the graphics teacher said:

"Has the cat got your tongue?" I went red and silent...

"You are the Cat..." I went mute, I relied on her for some outward show of affection, and help, but I kept mute. She was sweet but it annoyed the other teachers. I didn't like girls. But, I liked the older women, alot older than me, and sweet and clever. And, dark...

I wasn't bothered when the exam results were called out...the Hindu girl I got sat with, who used to lean so far over her work because I would "copy."...got 92%...this was around the PJ Harvey discovery...I found an article in a music magazine, a tiny picture of her in the corner, thick wild black hair...

She had gone to live in a cave by the beach without washing for 6 weeks.

My hair began getting greasy.

I got 93% in Science and they gasped.

I managed greasy hair for three weeks until they noticed. The science teacher noticed and shrieked.

Once my stupid friend had a pregnancy scare. I explained the motions of getting pregnant and was sure she hadn't done that much, because I had half-witnessed it.

I wanted to be Christ, so I said I needed an after-pill. To give to her...I couldn't actually, work out, what the problem with them was...I didn't mentally realise what they were thinking. Perhaps that's Autistic or innocent or what. Or, Sure.

I got dragged out of geography, from my favourite teacher, the rest of them were screaming at me, Isolating (putting me along in a classroom for whole days...)

It was a mental over-kill. It made me go Insane.

It started getting stressful. The most unbelievable stress. I didn't understand it.

I began my first day at high-school, refusing to pray at assembly.

I didn't want to go to school anymore, I stayed in my "cell" with my first heavy metal record, I had stomach-aches, flying slippers giving me black-eyes...

I got a copy of Adrenalin by the Deftones, and told Satan I wanted sex. I put up green and red and blue bulbs I found on a fence, up in the bed-room....I added much more eyeliner...I tried a F5, on the guitar I got from some cousin, a cream white one, which he painted the beatles faces onto...It got broken on my head, and then completely destroyed years later in a acoustic, bass, guitar foot-stamping massacre.

I started getting the greeting "Bitch!" when I did come home.

My cousin had arrived at the door when I was 14 and brought the heavy metal. I thought it was better to tell Satan than God. Because he was "benevolent" which sounded scary.

I left home and went to Nan's...I grew my hair long, washed everyday in my own on suite shower, serum ed my hair....listened to Grandad stories alot. Respected Grandad.

We had a lot of fun running from the rubbish gig-night in another town, where we'd ready and drink, vodka and coke, and cointreau, and malibu, and baileys. And grabbed a train, to the seaside on other weeks, where my stupid friend was picking up boys. We liked running through the church graveyard, falling down holes, we did this every Friday night.

then i got a girl, a blonde girl....we lived in a minimalist apartment, with connecting kitchen, we were two blondes, two professional career women....each night I opened the window, above my head, and we would come in from work one after the other. And sing. Sit, on the sofa.

One night, something strange happened as I went to open the window.

A little dark, ran in from the front door, grabbed my hand, and dragged me into her constructed bed-room. We did it! That was the first Time. ...

Mrs. Gil is arguing over the wall, outside the window, she is in an orange sari, she put's onion bhajis over the wall. Often, her son, has stolen the video-player, he climbs in through the bathroom window, quite a few times. She never tells the police, Mrs. Gil trys pay her the money back. Someone catches him in the alley in a car, ligghting foil-dragons, injected his dick, in the bathroom window, which is slightly glazed over....

I've been in this Summer, forever, I wake as the cats run in and out of the doors, "Morning Sweetie!" I wake up for that, and go back to sleep, I'm soaking hours in the bath, instead of getting up and going to college, I smoke joints and read Camus. I'm trying to work out what a communist is, at her kitchen table.

I turn round in bed, look up;

WAKE UP!

is painted on the ceiling.

I get a pen and write a Dorothy Parker poem on the wall. I have college later, but i need to have . a. bath.

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