Mummy God

I got an airplane the other week...a kid with straight black hair, looked adn stared through the little windows, then he went flying, he ran through the alley arms stretched, through all the blue and white clouds. A TV  advert made me think, it showed all modern types of technology, run on a little engine, with fire and smoke, even a bill credit, thing...and a mobile...


I've tried to explain technology before to people in the past;

"well, they run on fire, they have cables, which spark, and it runs on fire, it's impossible to explain..they must be very clever..."

Some old woman said: "Then the buses, have chains that turn the axles..."

Michal thought at first that demons were flying all around the house, when she heard traffic...

--- I was thinking about a fly through Hell, when I said "Mummy God, ...I called Him, Mummy God...."

I was in front of the TV, when I heard:

"Who brought this boy here, and why is he calling my daughter Mummy God?..."

You should have shut up...but you felt happier, so you swined...

I sat in the dark in the rain, smoking and dreaming, the smoke turned silver and sparkly...and I listened, I listened to everything I had missed, everything concerning me...blues and golds, and yellows and greens, and purples...

I heard a boy who said:

"What is my Daddy's name??"

I was thinking aloud to myself:

"Mummy God?...why was I in hell?"

---


"Mummy God, Mummy God..."

I sent 10 angels and my grandmother...I watched the door...It was all very;

Happy.

---

listen again.

"Are you Mummy God? I wanted to find you...My names is M. I am happy to be in God."

when he was younger I listened: He was a toddler, with women, he looked a little ZimZam, he said:

"We must Sing Him." I was in a delirium...Schmuel was by a mirror, copying my hand movements, I started this strange, duck hands whilst I'm talking, I talk out aloud now, in the mental patients house...he went to see my Dad, he was doing this strange stare eye thing...opening them wide, rolling them around...Dad couldn't see.

We got a smash of new soul colour, she was in the doorway dressed in dark green. She was me. So, I soared, I was so surprised, I replied, the colour of a neon green flew out of me into the roof...

I was singing him again and again on the Island I flew to. He was 90 % in thought. Annoyance was 45%. Hunger 75 %. We got on a bus to the capital and went round the island once, and stopped at the airport, I asked the dirver where we were going; "Yes, we go there, we got here..." We went round again, stoped at the airport again, went on the same bus, eventually arrived at the captial... I thought about him over a cappucino. A theory about why Moses saw the burning bush was on a little Tv in the corner. The scientists explained it by saying, often, there were seizures in the ground that exploded, and this covered the bush. Then after the coffee we walked back to the bus.

We sang on the way to the hotel, about Jesus in the tavern, it was like we were holding crucifixes in the air, well, when he was in the tavern, a man put a bag on the table, and emptied out lots of silver coins, Jesus told him to divide the money and who to give it to...His eyes would shine a bright Sky blue, but when he saw the money they turned a bright red...Thats all I remembered except that he often walked through the rehabilitation house walls, with a hood over him and those bright blue eyes...

--

ZimZam keeps them soul. Everyone looks at him and cries, because he is their Father King. The hijabs? Women where he is, look sin. He loves everyone that souls. You are his wiser dead...


You, must, sing Allah.

The 31 Doors and How to Cope.

Parrallell Universes, multi-verses...i.e can a special event/action change time, yet remain static, thereby creating a secondary happening, according to force or choice...two parallel places, running on a single ribbon...

(nb. Time is Circular....) (Seed of Life) 8/9 circles, one in the centre, The Soul, the arms of life...time rolling over the next time, repeating yet ever-changing...rolling into the next circle,......" each circle creates a Flux..."

There were 31 Doors, after a Birth...the time from then to know, is just a long-line of events...many types of Doors have snuck into this time-line...i.e. You were born 1965, you live, you marry, you reach a certain age, all different, things, but there are portals entering into this time-line, at, first, it looks like nothing at all has happened to you even when these doors have been opened and someone new has stepped in...you didn't see him...

We know the History, of the Planet, we know there were Kings, then the sons of Kings...Great Fires, Plagues, the doors are secret, they didn't prevent these events...

The doors centred...

31 Doors since a birth...

You knew the past, yet you also changed the past...

Exactly this: You knew the story of the mouse, and the mouse wrote to you. The mouse created a fashion of thought, many years before you were even born...the mouse died, rich, and very famous...You find the story of the fashion of the mouse, and you decide to sign up for mouse classes in this specific fashion...you meet a mouse girl in mouse class...you marry the mouse...you pick a portal by some accident or purpose of thought. You go to the beginning of the mouse, you live with the mouse...you create the mouses first thoughts of the fashion...You have created the mouse, you have made what the mouse made for you...

Right, what I will do now is try to repeat the Voice, that told the 31 Doors. As I was confused by the mouse...

I snuck into Time. 


I picked a door called, "Satan at it's Height..." I was carrying a blood-present...


"Why can't you weep?" I said, I said that...

I am flee-ing, flee-ing!!!!
"Begin the Flight..." 


31 Doors.

Since a large event, 31 portals on Planet Earth have opened...I went through 4. The doors are sought by prayer and fear and death...A messiah door was the ww2...I fell through Heaven, and picked a messiah door, I wasn't the messiah I was falling from heaven...


When one opened, it was a (and know I quote the Voice) course there's someone here....door 1.


I picked where the Lord would Arrive.


I've been to a group of women, where I sat on my bed, and saw a huge boulder like a ball rolled across a doorway...I've seen, a snake and an instrument and felt deep evil...I've met men that look like rats mixed with humans, I've seen massive scaly reptilian flying spaceships...and bright blue fighter planes buzz around them...I've kissed a fishtank, and talked to a boy invisible in a wall...


"because you knew what would happen, you sang!"


I am fearing light. Your black is holier than the brightest star...

my name; daughter, is God. shit shit shit!!!


I want the 31 Door story please.

The Witch

The witch walked down the alley, and held the kids hand...

And told him stories, when he got a little older, and envisaged his face...a smile like mum's, thin lips in a sideways smirk, the long nose of grandad, black hair mixed curly, mummy's there somewhere in the smile, and the eyes...did you lose your hair when you got older?

When he got older she sent him a war, no-one replied.

A lady in black started crying...I said; whats happened? no-one replied...I said, I had a dream after the restaurant, and woke in the middle of the night, it was defiantly a dream, and not a fly, where you can speak and control, yourself.

It was good an old maid was sitting on his lap...

I called his mum; And said:

"This insane with is talking to your baby..." No-one replied.

I had a dream, first i was in a type of kibbutz. But, there were two men sleeping and snoring in a bed together, just as I managed to see I was sitting beside the bed on the floor...I knew the men;

"Oh, no, I am see-ing they will go to Hell."

The bed disappeared, but suddenly I was in the room in the kibbutz, a grey room, with a child, my baby boy, he had darker skin and silver hair, he looked like my brother did with a sweet thin smile. But somehow he was in trouble...he was moving his head, round and weeping, like he was trying to get rid of a voice that was inside him and continually calling him...I was good. I said I love you, I held him, I sort of screamed, but said sane enough to try to keep him well...a real, proper love,...As I was beginning to see something in this dream was becoming real and I was worried, ...Mannie walked in, from , with a little, working outside in the kibbutz, walked in smiling with fuzzy black, wearing what she wore in a photo from Greece...I thought;

"What are you doing here? I'm glad those men are dead...this means -this- and this means - that, a baby who can actually hear God, and I'll stay here..."

I didn't cry out, Help Us! We're dead!

I left the dream knowing the dream would go...I asked for a meaning, I said, I know the meaning why ask?


So I bothered Mohammed the Father with stories, fluent arabic...He said:

"You are driving me mental about the body shop!!! Why are they beautiful in body shop! Why am I in the body shop!"

I was shocked, and though okay so I've been accidentally telling Mohammad himself stories, I was thinking about the body shop, because on the tube, an old woman and a mad looking girl walked on the train, they were; en Anglo:

Pikey.

I said; I'm a swine. You wiped the seat before you sat down, that was lunatic, and you hate this girl,  your daughter is filthy, daughter look at me, she was dressed in a type of hospital clothing, in light pink, she looked up. I gasped she had a type of Michal, a beautiful, face, a 1960's face, dark straight hair, cut 60's, but looking like a childish mind, or a everyday, always repressed by mummy look..a dead looking eye. And she had bad peeling skin all over her face, and her mum wasn't covering her chest, so the flaky skin was all down her...so, I said, my friend has that because he doesn't, wash, go to body shop, get something natural to wash in...

."I hate your mum!""



And you had to pray or bother and didn't. And you thought, and thought.

Pill Time!

---

I stopped the contact because I was swine...but the crying lady in black went to visit Nan, and she said:

"Kill! Kill!---to the girl: "You're not filthy!!! You're good!!" Don't tell them we're Hell..."

So I said to Nan; "Hey we've got a new family of black arabs, all in black!!"

"Mummy we think you're witch." said a kid...A kid 'back in time' said;

"We kick the witch!!! They're going dowwwwwwwwwwnnnn..."

They tired we I died.

"She has gone...good lad...let's take you home...."

I am still ...madness...they shriek:

"You. are NOT a sentence!!! You kept him well!! We are all Light!"

Developing A New War.

Cut to 58'

I am Jewish. I have prayed the world...I brought soul (quote the Voice) /not the 'voices'.///

I am a wily little "Abraham Girl"

Yes! A ghost appeared and said:

"You are an Abraham Girl."

"Hahahaha....!"

---


1958: Fuhrer of the World. King of England. King of Arabia. 

World Soul. 

Lord of Heaven.

Any but the most useful vechiles are banned in Britain, everyone rides bicycles...I have a limosine and a little house in the suburbs, the towns were beautiful then...with circuses...everything got knocked into soulless towerblocks, and architects won awards, for piss-covered metal cages, and no cover...no covers...

The london buses are no longer red, they are black with silver chrome arrangements...there are gunners in my little houses,

there is a lot of Love...there are thousands of night-clubs, and churches are filled, and a new Israel...(and that damn Sisters of Mercy playlist/This Corrosion/) ...

 Got to think specifcally here, and listen to a Voice:

Speech:

"Hitler is Dead. He hath Fell, He hath Fire and the Hell. I am Law. Now, we are well. We deliver Love. We Sing. I will become one with Allah." 

Iran was insane. "Witch! Witch!" They wondered how we'd King. "It can't be a God?"
"She's slaughtered every man and now bring God ()?!"

"Daddy...sing we have Allah. It is a girl that Loves..."

England was amazing:

"Oh Gosh! A naughty girl!!! She has saved our world!!"

"Jesus! Jesus!"

"She walked in, without praying!"

Mummy with kid; "When She sings, I want you to be good..."

"Mother! Mother!!"

---right, now you think this is lunatic and so do I.---

I wanted riches for the masses. 

"Allah?" "You brought King. That tale has told..." "grpijhwiniow...was it true?/am i bad?"

"Yes...tell the tale..."

--- A Temple in heaven. White light. People, A People.I died if they killed Love, am I looking at a rare picture of me in black, and I have an expression like mad Salvador Dali, and it's all black...Arabic words have an emotion revealed by colour;

I want to study Idlahamma;

a deep black/gloomy. a simple definition, in the dictionary, I know three types of black, the Satanic one is greyer, like it's built of scales...the deepest woe is, deepest black...I want to write the one word, all in arabic...I said about the Arabic green also...

""Yes, we have green-eyed monster...red rage..."

"No no, that's not quite correct...green is a feeling of Love, not sickness...the Zelda (?) You know that? That's waiting in the dark for Love...English doesn't express..."

There's dhamma...then the dictionary explains in part of dhamma, a type of Habba (Love) that he was "Crazy in Love with Her." I forget, but its something like Madha --- BLAH!

Ismee Lars. Inta --- ? Kha'eer...Dhalika Jannah...

Zim Zam

Zim Zam must have been a shadow. When I went from the mosque to the ice cream cafe, Zim Zam was sitting there with girls. He looked up at me, all wrapped in conservative black and brown. And he frowned, and then he leaned over to a girl to talk.

I walked through to another and sat with Miss, who was alone...They offer to buy me drinks, they do that every time. Miss was wrapped up in a little frown, staring a the table...

Zim Zam came over just as I said:

"And he said...there had been a split in Time, which must mean I witnessed a re-birth, and I was important, and I time-travelled..."

Zim Zam stood over the table, and looked cross:

"Can I get Harry Potter books in Arabic??" He looked cross, and I shook his leg, I mean his stance turned boy-fight...I knew all this kissing each other wasn't actually....happening!!!???


---

With a friend by a river...."Guess what house in H.Potter, I was put in...."

"Erm? ...The Dursleys?" And then I wanted to tell her, how hard it had been a t home when I was a teenager...I mean I got chucked out at the age of eight, for a whole summer, and stayed in my (Mum and Dad) Grandparents bungalow, in a village with few houses, and a stinky pig-farm across the road...and they took me to a theme park once, and I spent turn after turn on the swinging machine where your shoes fly off, and they told me they did that too, when they were young and drunk, and guiltily I demanded an ice-cream...and we played bingo at the sea-side, and went strawberry picking, and Is aw a barn owl in a shed, and I climbed huge hay-stacks, and I wrote my first story, and the only books they had were old readers digests and an encyclopedia of animals, the last one my favourite because it was about whales and dolphins, and I was going to be a ceateaologist, or a paleontologist, or easily just a zoo-ologist, and perhaps marine biology...and my story was about Cassowary's, beautiful ugly birds that can kill a man with a kick...inspired by Jurassic park...

---

Harry Potter gets locked in a cupboard under the stairs, by the Dursley's, from the age of one to eleven, given little food etc etc. because his parents are killed by the Dark Lord; And then he gets picked for Magic School!

"Oooh? Hufflepuff!"

"Yes!"

---

It must have been a shadow leaving his body. But then:

As I was weeping in bed, ZimZam appeared on his, and floated over my head...;

"It took you a year to want. And I waited by that wall, because the pid followed you...yellow ochre lights, a stream of hate and perversion, and he looks arabic...thats death of soul..."

It must be like the time traveller's wife, I hadn't realised yet, that nothing had been happening for Zim Zam a year since we met...So Zim Zam just appeared in the time of a week ago...and in the future she has been coming back to me all year...

Months ago, I had slept in her room, to keep the pervert away, months into years of giving a piff, fly...he was in her room  "EXPECTING!!" and I knew white wings of angels could kill him;

So, I don't know what happened next. Except the Zim Zam bits...

and all the ; (not quite explaining a soul) Zim Zam is supposed to the 'one who knows'...Zim ZAM is singing;

"I might fly thee..." It's like 

The Mad-House

"Oh, Gosh!"

"Sharrup, I'm writing..."

----

 I am Sensei, to a new little puppy, the old one used to be able to speak, and send me news, Lhasa Apso's are magic, they are kept in Temples in Tibet, as foot-warmers and burglar warners...She has been taught, to help my sister avoid bad-men...

---

The Mad-House:

Duty was; When the Interviewer thought I was Red, she winked...

"I am putting you in light, you are, enter, a mad home..."

Scream!!


"I HATE YOU!!" she smiled: "Now, we are dead..."


The madness of a 1930's home, the girls were sparkles, 

"OH, nonnnnnnnn! You look, Light!"


I screamed, I ran through corridor...I said: 


"Start This, and Dead." I said:


"I'm going!"


I ripped apart, a curtain and said;


"This is Jewish!"

I took scissors, and forlorn, and stationed my mind in circles;


"Right...I'm going..."


--


I clapped, and sang:


"I am Jesus!" 


I punched a peanut. I ran through the house, and took clothing. I turned into a man;


"Right...Now, get work..."


I ran to an office;


"Nein nien, Hail! Hail! I vant a job!"


They gasped:


"You have Aryan face."


"Do you want special? Or sort?"


"I'll join, Effer..." 


--- I lifted my chin, clasped my hands, crossed my legs;


"I vannnnnnnnnt, S.S."


"Blimey!! SS is hardest!!" 


"I know.... And I sin. Piss on my face and I will King." 


They wrote:


"He has....a look like lemon. A good King...get him to Kraut. Write,: came in; Him."


I growled in the office; I growled with long hands clasped, and long legs crossed:


"I am waiting."

--- 


In 1935, I was cross, In the fifties I was a Star. 


---


I applied for breeding, on the grounds of wanting sons and daughters, because I was weird and wanted weird children. I wrote to Hitler, I wrote I was Zwitter. But I wanted no Hell from men...A card arrived that said: 


"We do not need to see your c***k...we are going to select, you have the look, and you're a beautiful pig...Welcome to Lebensborn..."


---


I shot a Jew. I felt mad. I saw they were going to shoot, he was nearly mad, "Lover! You can't win!" I saw he was going to get a worse fate, I shot him...


---


The pretty girls shone. They were wow! "And you can't lack!" They were all around 16. I was 19 and a half...


One looked down at the floor, shyly;


"Would you like me?"


"No, no, I don't vant..."


"We can have a family..."


"No, no, I die..."


---


"Keep her..."

I can't! have...I am brutal! I know girl...I tell them I'm girl and they lie. 


Girl; "Why can you?..." 


Another Girl: "Have you got half-blood?"


Me: "Yes, I'm zwitter...are you alright??" 


Girl; "I like this...give want."


---



I took over, it's obvious...

Why there was A Door

When I say, "Muhammadan" I also whisper to God, "And, yes, something Jewish..." I'm neither actually, I just joined up...To say I'm neither a Muhammadan, well I am, and I have been since that little part of teenage voice, wanted more than a little hate, and hated too...and got tired of teenagers and teenage noise...and therefore; studied through books , how to be an angry young man... and became a British traditionalist, for morals...

bla, when I was definitely/defiantly a Muhammadan, and I said so, in English class...and I was purposely weird and stupid and always stoned...and I studied the War in Afghanistan each evening, while listening to Ibiza chill records, and rollling spliffs on a balcony over a river...(because Mum chucked me out) and swearing to single-handedly stop that War, and singing, for Epiphany's, and when I got one, a strange feeling of joy, as I scribbled in my little green note-book, so that I went and cooked scrambled eggs, and put it down to, even though it was surely a reply from God, to a second hand Ecstasy relapse....


And that, is part why I am now Muslim...

The portal, was:

"To a place where Satan was at a Height..."

I cried when I found out about Lahab...I read the story of his death, he seemed to be an aggravating shadow that followed Muhammad around throughout his life...I started following Muhammad too...(t.b.c)

When Lahab attacked a boy (and he has his own chapter in the Quran) in a tent, a woman grabbed a tent-pole and slammed it into his head, causing a deep cut in his skull that revealed his brains... (this reminded me of when I slammed a curtain-pole into a man's head, and he left the house, said, to keep tapping his forehead)...

The brain got gangrene, Lahab died...

His family would not bury him, they believed that they would catch a plague from his body...this made me so sad for him....

Eventually, they did what they were told and made him a grave.

The grave was made by two men who threw stones over Lahab's body until he was completely covered.

This was hilariously saddening, and I doubt, I doubt about alot of things, to do with Muhammad, until I bunked a few weeks ago when I another school, again, full of teenagers, and hid in a library with a Quran biography, that was fresh, and described the emotions and life and thoughts, of Muhammadan, even, if guessed by the writer;

re; emerge; cleansed...and nicer.

anyway I went through a Door, And The BIG STUFF has happened;

And anyway, the Door:


The portal I slipped through, arrived by, "falling through silk"...


"You wanted to die....and..."

---

When I returned through that book, and got a bit upset about the next book; of Rumi poems: Mathnawi, (because the King was so obviously dead in that story, and you knew;;;;; what....;;;;

I got happy...

---

This book is full of portals and alien worlds...To die in a desert is the best thing...the other plan was magnified into a completely sequential devised plan, of hope and joy...

The best things have happened...Amazingly sky-full things that I have to

I have to decide to listen to God's voice, even if there are many others...and I believe the craziest things...

Going through that door, was hopeless...


I listen to That, here silently and quickly...now I am refusing to listen, but half this blog has been written by God....

Wear Black Forever

We took over the world last night, we were Hope and Peace...there were two of us, and circles of passengers, in the south face wall, where the door cut through...

Every wonder became spiritual in spaces of seconds into minutes...the course of the snood curved round a bare face...a door in twilight, a new sight flying dark grey-blue like the depths of a cold sea...exact like the colour mix on my palette...then the scab of brown-red, discarded soul...


music repeats itself, like prayer was supposed to do, but then you discovered extra light...extra things for life...prayer gets to be fun...

---

I knew the twilight was making a scene, for me to play the actor and the storyteller, I knew we were becoming ...the first...

I was making spirit, in a black coat, black trousers, a black square hat...she kept her face on the edge of the pillow, she whispered, what I didn't listen: It became Everything...she said...I....

"We are in charge now...." I declared.

"Don't worry!" Because we are Hope and Peace.

Because compasses pointed North...I went to the bed...In black dress, and knees, and walking from one space to the next space, preaching, preaching...

I got to my knees beside, the bed, in black trousers. "A black square hat!"

I put my face to the floor, a pillow talking...above me...There's quiet in this direction...


I sat on knees on bed, and my face on the pillow, and my arms, back behind flying in the air, like a crow, a crow-man, in black feathers...


I went to lock the door, still pillow, I bowed towards the door and the passengers...


"I am wearing a black hat! "

"We are becoming soulful, we are Muhammadan, We are Law, We will Soul You, We are Lover. We are married in Law...Go Now..."


I sat on my knees, by the pillow, I put my face to the floor...


"Leave me now, don't worry..."


"I can see I am going to a Lower World tonight, you are going higher, you must leave me, and then we're well....I don't mind...I love God..." and I waited, at the pillow, and bowed my face to the floor, and repeated myself...


"We are in Charge Now....We can Law men, We can Ride, We will Ride Him, we Are Love..."


I didn't hear her say one word, perhaps there wasn't even a Her there...I was going crazy again, I had promised no more joking, I laughed loud, , and my trainers were on the pillow, in her face... i knew it was another annoying schism, I rolled on the duvet, and kicked the trainers against, the wall, my hair turned short and black, my image became a man, I kicked at the grey wall, covered in Arabian graffiti, I joked...It died everything a little,

"He needed a good expensive pair of trainers...

"Benjamin!! Benjamin!! The little guy in Romeo and Juliet!!" Benjamin " THE ALI!!! !!!!!!!!!"

..quickly she smiled, and she left for the Higher Heaven...

I switched the light back on and left the room....