When I say, "Muhammadan" I also whisper to God, "And, yes, something Jewish..." I'm neither actually, I just joined up...To say I'm neither a Muhammadan, well I am, and I have been since that little part of teenage voice, wanted more than a little hate, and hated too...and got tired of teenagers and teenage noise...and therefore; studied through books , how to be an angry young man... and became a British traditionalist, for morals...
bla, when I was definitely/defiantly a Muhammadan, and I said so, in English class...and I was purposely weird and stupid and always stoned...and I studied the War in Afghanistan each evening, while listening to Ibiza chill records, and rollling spliffs on a balcony over a river...(because Mum chucked me out) and swearing to single-handedly stop that War, and singing, for Epiphany's, and when I got one, a strange feeling of joy, as I scribbled in my little green note-book, so that I went and cooked scrambled eggs, and put it down to, even though it was surely a reply from God, to a second hand Ecstasy relapse....
And that, is part why I am now Muslim...
The portal, was:
"To a place where Satan was at a Height..."
I cried when I found out about Lahab...I read the story of his death, he seemed to be an aggravating shadow that followed Muhammad around throughout his life...I started following Muhammad too...(t.b.c)
When Lahab attacked a boy (and he has his own chapter in the Quran) in a tent, a woman grabbed a tent-pole and slammed it into his head, causing a deep cut in his skull that revealed his brains... (this reminded me of when I slammed a curtain-pole into a man's head, and he left the house, said, to keep tapping his forehead)...
The brain got gangrene, Lahab died...
His family would not bury him, they believed that they would catch a plague from his body...this made me so sad for him....
Eventually, they did what they were told and made him a grave.
The grave was made by two men who threw stones over Lahab's body until he was completely covered.
This was hilariously saddening, and I doubt, I doubt about alot of things, to do with Muhammad, until I bunked a few weeks ago when I another school, again, full of teenagers, and hid in a library with a Quran biography, that was fresh, and described the emotions and life and thoughts, of Muhammadan, even, if guessed by the writer;
re; emerge; cleansed...and nicer.
anyway I went through a Door, And The BIG STUFF has happened;
And anyway, the Door:
The portal I slipped through, arrived by, "falling through silk"...
"You wanted to die....and..."
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When I returned through that book, and got a bit upset about the next book; of Rumi poems: Mathnawi, (because the King was so obviously dead in that story, and you knew;;;;; what....;;;;
I got happy...
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This book is full of portals and alien worlds...To die in a desert is the best thing...the other plan was magnified into a completely sequential devised plan, of hope and joy...
The best things have happened...Amazingly sky-full things that I have to
I have to decide to listen to God's voice, even if there are many others...and I believe the craziest things...
Going through that door, was hopeless...
I listen to That, here silently and quickly...now I am refusing to listen, but half this blog has been written by God....
The Sonny Side of Things
منذ أسبوع مضى
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