الاثنين، 18 يوليو، 2011

The Revolt

I'm adding this link, because it just played on 90's radio, it was a surprise hit in Britain, and reached number one, originally written and recorded unknown with some kind of radio, in his bedroom...and well, the lyrics...I imagined my future with this song, as becoming some kind of utterly cool type of woman, perhaps a little Marxist, also, coffee-cool; which I didn't want after that, because a later age, I discovered many type's of marxist books, in the family library:

White Town- Your Woman.

"Omesius Si Gusus!"


"Here She Comes!"

I heard "Orgasm!" and screamed, ready to fight foul fire...for saying a word like that when kids were listening. Here comes my baby!!

It was the Lawyer, most probably, sitting in front of her TV, with a blanket, and a small vodka and coke, or a Cointreau's, or any kind of drink, in her verryyyy white hands, though she no longer has such an extensive choice of alcohol, I guess, not like her parents did. That's it, my best friend from school, whom I haven't seen for ten years, apart from an odd meet in a street, with her skinny lanky boyfriend, and other undesirables I just didn't want to be there, in, when i was in that kind of fuzzy loneliness, wandering out to buy cigarettes, and sometime papers, and full of cannabis in my blood, no money, and no home, while she was studying Law in Spain. Because I felt at that bus-stop, she didn't need my problems, her worried face... And I didn't need someone to speak to...

I didn't want to speak to the Lawyer, I was thinking...

---

"Omesius Si Gousus..." is Armenian. So there went again the searching of family trees.

I wandered down stairs to grab a cigarette. More Armenian.

"Well, it is the key!! How many white people do you expect to get married in their mother's kitchen, with an old woman walking in with a broom, conducting like the wedding, without a priest, and kissing the face in two hands?"

She said my fingers were 'white poo'.

Someone had seen; 'my "Paki-Wife..." This was the Armageddon:

The Rabbi had an Epiphany.

I said:


"I have great fear, when I looked through, I saw a yellow monster snake, and then further in an image in dark blue."

He said:

"It was already happening!!!!!!!! How could we have missed this!!??"

I thought:

"Well, you have your secret books...."

What He did, was call the happening, by reading exactly through God.

When I saw, a face turn up into a huge yellow cloud, and scream..." I went to bed. I lay on the bed, with my black coat and it's wide collar, up to my eyes, and drum my fingers, silently praying the shock of reaching a Hell-mind, by sort of humming and relaxing...drumming little quiet rhythms. I had heard him say:

"We are from a man from Heaven...."

What went wrong is that I mentioned a man and she read the man's mind...the yellow and the scream....What I call The House, is here, all round this blog, I'm tired to mention but it would be best.

It looked like the Armageddon, when I appeared in the kitchen again, and the sky, was blank, all in grey light, not like a cloudy grey day, but a actual grey over everything. It began when I stayed awake all night, successively, smoking cannabis, and then madly praying at the dressing table, I lifted a lamp, and smashed it through a mirror, I picked up a heavy book, and brought down full-force to a sleeping man's head, he leapt up and punched me in the nose. Lightening struck me, and I screeched, jumped up and down, like an hysterical monkey, grabbed a small joint, and ran to the police station. A troll-dwarf took me back to the house, I stood at the front door, in fear, did what I was told, and slept in a room downstairs, on a little bed alone. A gold watch on a chain, which I found in a cupboard, I took into the rubbish garden, the hands turning quickly, backwards. I ran through the alleyways, night became a long day, I was bleeding in the streets. I found a car, in the car-park next door that looked like a friends, when I opened the passenger door, a young foreign man sat in the drivers seat, there was a big lock over the car's steering wheel, I knew it couldn't be his car, he looked like a Buddhist (where a Buddhist means looking like Buddha himself, a wide glowing face, large brown eyes, skinhead...) I couldn't speak, I grab the radio knob, and tried to find a sequence that would explain what I meant, I got hysterical and became that monkey again...he stayed staring at me sweetly, then leaned over and gave me a quick kiss, on the lips, that calmed me, he got out of the car, with a light blue rack-sack...I had my pink bag with me, I watched him stroll away, to the East to cry....and I went West...at the corner of the road, I threw The Tao I contained in my bag, a black shirt, on a bush, because, we are going to die, everyone will die...because I wanted to keep the white t-shirt...everyone will die...I wanted to keep, the White...there is a dead man...

Another night in the House. I called God again...the man turned to me, and his hair was wild and light red, I watched as his face changed, it grew older and older, his nose shifted, he is an Elf face, he is old Father's, he can't be King,...his eyes shone like cats eyes, big and yellow, his voice was deeper than I had ever heard before...he told me to go...

I only stupidly told the Rabbi, that I called a man I didn't even like; an Elf King, that's when I saw the yellow light in the Rabbi's mind, and the scream...I told the Rabbi about my crown, I got it years later, when I sat in a smoking shed, and woman put a circle of silver on my head, the inscription appeared in flourescent blue, a black claw, grabbed at the crown, I changed it into a ring, and it is on my third finger right hand...

why do sex men sigh? Must us, must us...

Before I got to the kitchen, I walked into a supermarket car-park, everyone had aged, crowds of old people with greying hair, I thought I saw family, and stood before a couple, who didn't understand what i had said, who I could only see as very very old...

we must weep...

The Rabbi hit God, and died. He screamed at me, as I sat in the man's van, everyday i sat in the van and waited for the end of the day, I went back there, to the House, after the Arageddon and stayed in a van...he wept and wept...he said;

"Stay strong...It is only war..."

When each day was successive day-time, I saw myself, walk by my own window, dressed in a silly water-proof lilac and black jacket, Mannie's jacket...screamign woman drove round and round the house, I did what they told me and ran, but still, I went back...

The Rabbi, was warn: "Do not talk, just go..."

One of  the men was calling other men, he was supposed to the be the Lover, he made a Hell.

"She's safe..."

The Rabbi wailed: "Throne, Throne...you've got me to the throne,

shaking:

"J'ES'U'S!!!" physical body shakes, "Gross men, gross men, the armageddon, it was fool's men, they kill jew, kill the whites, gross men, they are going to kill a jewish light, Father!!! GET HERRRRRRRRRRR, IN SINNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!"

The Rabbi sat weeping: "They are going to die...they kill...they die light, she's the whitest jew..."

to be cont.

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